Skip to main content

Terry Jones Has New Target

Your roving investigative reporter nonamedufus has learned that Terry Jones, who threatened last week to burn the Koran, inflaming - so to speak - an international uproar, has set his sights on a new target.

Koran Cuckoo

The former nincompoop nobody, in an attempt at a full half-hour of fame, exclusively told nonamedufus of his plans. "Christians are being persecuted by them. They're attempting to influence Americans and gain acceptance as an extremist force in this country", said Pastor Jones. "My congregation - those that are left after last week's little flame fiasco - and I are dead set against letting them overrun us, taking over our society and leading us into damnation."

When asked why he was continuing to persecute Muslims, Jones replied, "Muslims? Are you nuts, man? I'm talking about something much worse: those screaming tween twit fans of that infidel Justin Bieber!"

Satan's Singing Spawn?

Jones says he plans to burn Bieber records. "I haven't heard them but I know Bieber is of the devil. We're going to put a torch to that little Canuck crooner's catalogue. It's time to usher in a new order."

Jones said if need be he'd call on other members of his former comedy troupe to assist him. "Of course Chapman's dead, but Idle, Cleese and Palin aren't up to anything else right now. I'm sure my fellow Pythoners will pitch in." And he aded, "People think this Dove congregation's dead. No it's not. It's just sleeping."

No one expects the Bieber inquisition.

Unlike the reaction to his plan to burn the Koran, Christians and Muslims alike rejoiced around the world.

This post appeared originally at my home away from home The Parody Files.


CatLadyLarew said…
So Justin's on a hit list instead of a greatest hits list?
Ziva said…
Finally, a Koran-burning racist nutcase who's making sense! Burn those records!
Cruella Collett said…
About time! I haven't heard any of Bieber's records either, but I have seen several pictures of him, and I know in my heart that there is no way anyone can have a hair-do like that and NOT be affiliated with Satan.
nonamedufus said…
Cat Lady: That'd be one way of putting it. A funny way, too.
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: Aren't you glad the pastor finally saw the light... or heard the music... whatever.
nonamedufus said…
Cruella: You know I really have to apologize on behalf of all Canadians for springing Justin Bieber on the world. First William Shatner, then Celine Dion and now this. I am so sorry. ;(
K A B L O O E Y said…
There is NO WAY any of the Pythons could be that stupid (and I don't mean stupid based on your funny parody, but based on the cold, dumb, inflammatory facts). Well, maybe Graham Chapman would have spouted that nonsense as a sick joke, but look what that kind of attitude did for him.
I am embarrassed that J-Beeb is from Canada. I thought we were cooler than that. - G
nonamedufus said…
KABLOOEY:They might have gotten a good skit out of the whole thing. Maybe they'd have Jones in high rubber boots shouting from the middle of the street "May brain hurts."
nonamedufus said…
G: It's a terrible burden for a nation to bear, isn't it.
Quirkyloon said…
See there's always something positive to find about people even someone as jacked-up like Mr. Cuckoo Koran.

Burn, baby, burn!

I'm sorry but I'm an anti-bieber head!

hee hee
Don said…
Thank God for Terry Jones – this time!
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: I hear Lady Gaga is next on the Pastor's list.
nonamedufus said…
I love this quote from the "other" Terry Jones:

"Ludicrous concepts…like the whole idea of a “war on terrorism”. You can wage war against another country, or on a national group within your own country, but you can’t wage war on an abstract noun. How do you know when you’ve won? When you’ve got it removed from the Oxford English Dictionary?"
Quirkyloon said…
Lady Gaga is next? I'll bring the barbecue sauce!
00dozo said…
Instead of burning Beiber's catalogue, Jones should blow it up ... "blow it up real good!"
Kelly said…
Sign me up for a Bieber Burning! Or better yet, tie him to a chair and let people have at that god-awful coiffure of his.
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: How hot can you stand your BBQ sauce. I've got some "Holy Shit Habanero Hot Sauce" I can share. You're welcome.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: I take it that's a pun on one of his songs? I just haven't got the inclination to Google it and see.
nonamedufus said…
Kelly: Wow! Who knew so many people had a hate on for this crooning Canuck. It gives us Canadians something other than the weather and Toronto to complain about.
00dozo said…
dufus: Hardly - I was using a phrase coined by two characters in Second City TV - it was their general solution to everything they didn't like. Yeah, obscure.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Oh, you're talkin' about Big Jim McBob and Billie Sol Hurok. Why didn't you say so. A most appropriate Canadian reference!
00dozo said…
Well, I blowed that joke up real good. Not!
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: My bad. I was a little slow.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.


Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais


The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

I Do

It was noon. The sun shone brightly in the sky. Birds chirped merrily in the trees. The sounds of traffic drifted up from the street. George picked up his keys and headed for the apartment door. This was a special day. Perhaps the most special day of his life to date. Today was the day he would ask Georgina to marry him. Georgina was his girlfriend. French. From France.

He'd covered all the bases. He'd bought the ring, a bouquet of flowers and a set of knee pads. If she said "no" at least they'd have a good laugh over the knee pads. If she said yes they'd remember him down on his knees this day forever.

He grabbed everything, locked the apartment door and descended the stairs. The restaurant was nearby so he decided to walk. As he waited on the corner for the light to change he thought of spending the rest of his life with Georgina. Not that he was being presumptuous but he had a good sense she felt the same way too. He was sure it was kismet. And besides wi…