Skip to main content

Cat Tales





We have two cats. Cleo and Pepette. Or as I like to call them Stupid #1 and Stupid #2.

Cleo used to have a brother. Bob. But Bob got hit by a bus. Stupid is as stupid does. We got them as kittens from my stepson's father. I had several names for them. Spin and Marty. Fred and Barney. Bob and Ray. That latter was a tip of the hat to one of the funniest comedy teams I've ever come across. But I digress. Bob and Ray Cleo were the offspring of an incestuous relationship which, so I'm led to believe, happens a lot with cats. Can inbreeding cause stupidity? With Cleo I rest my case. She was born in Rouyn which must be the Ozarks of Quebec because Cleo and brother Bob had a litter of their own. We gave them away. Hey, I said the cats were stupid, not their owners.

Pepette was found in an animal shelter by my wife and her son. She's about 150 in people years. In fact she moves like I do...slowly. We often compare notes on our arthritis. Mrs Noname says back in BNN (Before Noname) they called the cat Pepette because she didn't want to holler the first name they gave it when the cat was outside: Fleurette. Oh, yeah, Pepette is so much better!

Pepette spends most of the day sleeping.

Is this cat dead?

Cleo spends most of the day - wait for it - catting around the neighborhood. With age, Pepette's wasting away. With age Cleo's plumping up.

Caution - Not really Cleo, but a reasonable facsimile.

Okay, that's not really Cleo. But people who know me and the cats will say "Pretty close!"

Is Cleo overweight? Cleo's so fat I took a picture of her and it's still developing. Hence the facsimile. Seriously, Cleo's so fat that she can't reach a couple of spots on her haunches when she's cleaning herself. After awhile she sprouts what looks like wings of dead, dirty hair. She looks sorta like a fat superhero cat. Or she looks like a thug. She's kind of a cross between Flash Gordon and Coolio.

Caution - Another Cleo facsimile.

Of course she might be able to fly with those wings, if she weren't so damn fat!


How stupid are these cats? Pepette will meow at the patio door to get out. She'll stand on the stoop 10 seconds, sniff the air and meow to get back in. Cleo on the other hand will sit on the stoop gazing wantingly through the patio door waiting to get in. As soon as I hop up to let her in she turns her back and wanders off. These routines repeat themselves every couple of minutes. 

Of course I may be just as stupid to fall for these kitty capers. Just a sec. I've gotta let the cat in...

Comments

Ziva said…
Cleo and Pepette are probably very intelligent, and are actually conducting elaborate experiments on you, to see how long it will take you to figure out what they want. They're proably calling you and Mrs Noname Stupid #1 and Stupid #2 and laughing at you behind your back. Or not. I could be wrong.
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: I take it you like cats, Ziva? My wife takes your view - that they're actually very, very smart. Me? I think they're very, very dumb. They're my stepson's cats and he doesn't even live here anymore. Wait a minute. Who's the stupid one?
Quirkyloon said…
I'm not a cat person, but you ALMOST make me want one!

I said almost (does that make ME stoopid?). hee hee

And now? I'm going to be saying the name Pepette all day long!

Actually it reminds me of Lady Gaga's stuttering: pa pa pa pa poker face!


Pepette!
Don said…
Damn! I swear I wrote my post before I read yours. Boy, does that ever look fishy! Stupid is as stupid does alright.
Just goes to show you that great minds think alike.
Leeuna said…
Cats are smarter than we give them credit for, or we are dumber. Either way, they always manage to get what they want. Maybe Cleo just wants to be sure you get enough exercise. Or maybe she just likes tormenting you. :)
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: You want one? I've got two - free!
nonamedufus said…
Don: Great minds think alike alright. I gotta tell you, my wife thinks your comments are hilarious, well not as funny as mine of course. She says to tell you "I've gotta meet that guy some day." You've been warned.
nonamedufus said…
Leeuna: I tell ya, between jumping up to turn over those LPs (See August 23 post - http://nonamedufus.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-not-exactly-sweatin-to-oldies-but.html ) and opening the door to a cat who won't come in the pounds are just melting away! ;)
Kelly said…
I guess I'm showing my age when I say that I know who Spin and Marty are. Were.

I don't think your cats are *quite* as stupid as you claim. They've got you trained pretty darn good and that takes cunning.
nonamedufus said…
Kelly: Yeah, you are. But at least you didn't admit to knowing Bob and Ray.

Hmm... cunning cats? Nah.
Nicky said…
Where on earth is Roun?! I've heard of Rouyn but not Roun...maybe it's a secret town being run by cats plotting the demise of the human race?
nonamedufus said…
Nicky: I'm gonna get you to proof all my posts. Good catch. Thanks
Cat Supplies said…
Cat with wings is really beautiful..
nonamedufus said…
Cat Supplies: Yeah, if only she was the real deal.
Marie said…
It's clear we have the same cats. Or it is a vast cat conspiracy to drive us insane. Maybe it's the inherited-from-offspring cats? My son gave me his cat when he became a Busy Lawyer and this cat drives me out of my mind.

Did you ever hear the story of Jack Benny's widow and her cats? One of them seemed sick. It's pregnant the vet told her. But that is impossible she said, she never goes out. The vet said do you have a male cat. Yes, Mrs. Benny said, but that's her BROTHER!

LOL
nonamedufus said…
Marie: Yeah, why do the parents get stuck with the pets? That Jack Benny's widow story is a hoot. Cats are pretty strange. Ours are weird, We have two female cats and they hate each other. One always hides around the corner of the wall and when the other cat walks by she jumps out at her. They're absolutely nuts.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.


"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise
T…