Samuel L. Jackson would be proud of this guy. And TSA officers at Miami International Airport must have surely thought they were in some movie, when a guy on his way to Brazil was pulled aside for a more thorough search of his, um, pants. Turns out Simon Turola Borges was attempting to smuggle snakes and turtles aboard his flight. Borges bears an uncanny resemblance to Pee Wee Herman. I can imagine how this guy was brought down. The TSA folks must have asked "Is that a snake in your pants...no not that snake...or are you just glade to see me". Turns out he wasn't glad to see them. The TSA agents discovered baby turtles in his pockets and little baby boa constrictors in his underwear. Apparently the guy first denied he had anything in his pants. But I guess it soon became obvious there was something unnatural going on around his nether region. One of the baby, or mutant, turtles rescued from Borges' shorts. I just hope those weren't snapping t...