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Showing posts from September, 2009

Pause, Ponder and Pun

Every time there's a gay pride parade, an angel gets his wings. Uh-huh. I've showed you mine, now you show me yours. Good luck. See you Saturday for the winner. Same batty place, same batty channel.

Say What #2

Back in July I ran the initial post in what I think is going to be a series. Today installment #2. Over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com, where they change the style and format more often than her mean uncle moves the furniture around at Helen Keller's place, there's a forum thread called The Humpty Dumpty Dictionary Challenge where members contribute words they've found from a blog's word verification box along with their own definitions.

Here are some of my recent contributions...
When you throw little Jr into the pool to teach him to swim you better hope he's:




(boy+bouyant=boyant)

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The politically correct term for bus boy!
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The perfect word verification for HumorBloggersDotCom
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What happens when your clambake lasts too long...



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What the parachute instructor says as he pushes you from the plane


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Few people know that Sting wrote the first draft of So Lonely in the loo. Uh-huh, yep. And when he changed the lyric to "lonely" he had a hit on his hands...


We…

Comment Allez-Vous?

I know that means "How are you?" in English, or in recent vernacular "Wassup?" But a literal translation might be more along the lines of "Are you going to comment?"
Why do I raise this? Well, follow along. Bloggers, in particular humour bloggers, are a unique bunch. They love to let their imaginations run wild. And they love to write, to share their innermost thoughts in a periodic blog post. But they're immensely insecure. They crave feedback! It's like a drug and bloggers can't create until they're satiated in piles of prop-up praise.

Writing a blog is a blast. What used to be putting pen to paper is now putting finger to keypad but the creative force remains the same and it gives a writer a chance to express him/herself to an interested audience. Not that the majority will make any money from this. A comment here and there, though, is viewed as a reward of riches (oh, pull-eeze!). Nevertheless, a comment or two will help soothe the sav…

Sunday Funnies

It was quite the week on the geopolitical front last week with Iranian President Iamanutjob speaking at the United Nations. Boy he sure stirred things up and many nations walked out on his speech in boycott. President Obama addressed the international forum too but not before a blitz of the media capital of New York in an effort to preach the good word about his health care reforms. In a somewhat muted development Diebold announced they were getting out of the vote counting business. And the editorial cartoonists, bless their hearts, caught it all...








Not Your Average White Band

Hey I said NOT your Average White Band (hmmm, Ive always liked that album cover). But techincally this post is about AWB but in this case that's Award Winning Bloggers, brought to you today in 3 parts:


Part I Screw You and The Elephant You Rode In On

Well, everyone managed to take a potshot at POTUS this week. It wasn't exactly what you'd call a flattering picture. In fact, it was downright gay. It only makes sense that some of the comments were too. Let's see who said what...
lotgk came up with

Adam Lambert has nothing on me.

Renal Failure said
So... this is what Glenn Beck sees every time he looks at the President, eh? No wonder he cries all the time.

and Don posted
Think I'm stuntin' like my daddy now? Ya should get a load of what I'm sitting on!

But our real Washington weiner this week was moooooog with his Obama double-whamma:
..and you people wonder why I vote Republican.
and
Obama later regrets having his inauguration suit designed by the Queer Eye guys.




moooooog…

US and Them #16

What do the leaders of Canada, the United States and Iran, a big gun and doughnuts have in common? Stay tuned...all shall be revealed.
The United Nations in New York this week was the focus of considerable media attention. A guy who's name hardly anyone can pronounce, and couldn't care less if they do, who last year at the same forum denied the existence of the Holocaust was set to speak again. President Obama, fresh from fishing for compliments via a media saturation blitz, was set to make his maiden UN address. And Canada's PM skipped the whole affair in favour of a coffee and a doughnut, prompting many Canadian news outlets running the story to slug it "Doughnuts (okay, okay "donuts" for you Yanks) over Diplomacy".
Obama, to his credit, despite waning public support at home demonstrated he still has the "it" factor internationally. As the Toronto Star editorialized "...Obama cut a bold figure on the world stage yesterday, delivering a fo…

Savage Similarities

If you're arriving from Theme Thursday you probably know where this is going. If not play along and see if you can tell what the following 10 pictures have in common.











All these pics have the theme "wild" in common. Let's check: 1. Wild West hero Wild Bill Hickock 2. A great book and even greater movie directed by Sean Penn Into The Wild
3. Nicolas Cage in the David Lynch film Wild At Heart 4. A funny, funny take on weekend warriors the film Wild Hogs 5. "Sticky Fingers" is the Rolling Stones album with the song Wild Horses
6. This little fella's being sent on a wild goose chase 7. ...ahem...I think these two are from Girls Gone Wild 8. Charlie Sheen aka "Wild Thing" in the movie "Major League"
9. In the 60s the Troggs sang about Charlie's doppleganger Wild Thing 10. And if you made it this far pour yourself a shot of Wild Turkey bourbon Wasn't that wild?!
Check out Theme Thursday for more wild goings-on today.

Pause, Ponder and Pun

Headline: Oh-mama Obama - POTUS Gives New Meaning to Bi-racial That's mine. What's yours? This is a democracy. We'll put it to a vote and see who emerges victorious. Catch you Saturday...

Indiana Jones and The Paraders of the Last Lark

"I've still got it"


What is it with Hollywood's pre-occupation with sequels? It's not enough to produce one movie? You can't come up with a fresh idea for a new movie? You gotta go back to the well two... three... even four times? ^ In 1981, Harrison Ford starred in a hugely successful movie called Raiders of the Lost Ark. It was so successful George Lucas and Steven Spielberg decided to do a sequel in 1984 and Harrison Ford starred in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It was so successful... ...yeah, you got it - H.F. in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in 1989. ^ Not content with... a) a trilogy of movies b) a trilogy of mega-profits c) with their last movie having the word "last" in the title, or d) all of the above ^ ...Messrs Ford, Lucas and Spielberg came out with a fourth in the franchise, last year's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull . ^ At 65, Ford was practically using a walker for the latest installment. Now comes word, …

Splendor In The Grass

I have a confession to make. I'm having an affair. For the past 8 years or so Big Red and I have been meeting every week to cut loose. The contours of her sleek and smooth oriental body drive me wild. And her pert little seat, covered in black leather, really puts me over the edge. She's a little rock and roller. And how she loves to move!

It began as a summer romance. In our first encounter we made mad love in the tall grasses. And I really shouldn't say this but each time we meet she really makes me sweat. She makes me work hard. And when she revs up she really gets me going.

Throughout the years she's never steered me wrong. Our relationship has run smoothly for the most part, with some minor bumps here and there.

But I've got to tell you in terms of the complete package, she's a well oiled machine. She never chokes, indeed when she opens up it's at full throttle. And a sense of humour? She's a real cut up.
But all is not as it should be between us. Late…