Skip to main content

Splendor In The Grass

I have a confession to make. I'm having an affair. For the past 8 years or so Big Red and I have been meeting every week to cut loose. The contours of her sleek and smooth oriental body drive me wild. And her pert little seat, covered in black leather, really puts me over the edge. She's a little rock and roller. And how she loves to move!

It began as a summer romance. In our first encounter we made mad love in the tall grasses. And I really shouldn't say this but each time we meet she really makes me sweat. She makes me work hard. And when she revs up she really gets me going.

Throughout the years she's never steered me wrong. Our relationship has run smoothly for the most part, with some minor bumps here and there.

But I've got to tell you in terms of the complete package, she's a well oiled machine. She never chokes, indeed when she opens up it's at full throttle. And a sense of humour? She's a real cut up.
But all is not as it should be between us. Lately Big Red's been a little unresponsive. She just doesn't seem to get a charge out of me anymore and, I'm sad to say, has been going elsewhere in search of a spark. After 8 years, I can't seem to turn her on anymore. Our course of true love is not running smoothly and now she's giving me the gears.

Farewell my lovely. I can take a hint. We've weathered the hills and valleys, the twists and turns. I've tried to keep our relationship on the straight and narrow but now you want to sever things between us, to cut it off. And as your memory fades like blades of grass blowing in the wind, I'll remember the fun we had together, running through those fields of green.

...in search of a spark

...in happier times

Comments

My condolences. Please tell me you're not going to be so callous as to trade her in for a younger green Deere. It would break her heart.
Anonymous said…
Ah! So were you and "Red" the inspiration for Stephen King's Christine?

hee hee
nonamedufus said…
CatLady: No, I think I'll send her off to the spa for a "tune up".

Quirks: If I remember correctly Christine would rev up without warning. I'm afraid Big Red's get up and go got up and went!
Jen said…
It's always difficult when the one we love stops loving us. Have you tried flowers and candy?
nonamedufus said…
Jen: Just like a woman. You assume it's MY fault!
Chris said…
I guess you just weren't the one that she lawned for.

Jeez, I crack myself up.
nonamedufus said…
Chris: HAHAHA I think I've just met my match!!! I got a real charge out of that one.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Why don't you try a romantic night out to get her revved up again? There's got to be a good car show coming to town she'd like.

Unless she's been stepping out with George Jones, of course. That dude leaves all his tractors wrecks.
Donnie said…
Awww, ode to a lawn mower. How sweet. I wish I had your way with words. Maybe I could get my line trimmer to start in less than six pulls.
nonamedufus said…
MikWJ: Hey I think I saw George lurking around our neighbourhood.

Don: 6 pulls? I think it's enjoying it. No wonder they call it a weed wacker.
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I guess you just weren't the one that she lawned for.

Jeez, I crack myself up.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.