This is the prequel that for some odd reason didn't make it to the big screen. Sincerest apologies to Gene Roddenberry and J.J. Abrams. (Kirk voice over opening titles) Kirk: Stardate 1964.5. The hall was full that night – a sell-out. The Stratford gig playing Henry V was good training to take me where no actor has gone before: doing future pitch work for, oh, I dunno, maybe Kellogg’s All Bran or priceline dot com. (cut to Kirk on stage) And God forbid, my dear and faithful lord, That you should fashion, wrest, or bow your reading, Or nicely charge your understanding soul With opening titles miscreate, whose right Suits not in native colours with the truth... (Spock arrives via transporter effect) Spock: But, Captain, that would be illogical...indeed Shakespearian dialogue has always to me been illogical. Kirk: Where in blazes did you come from? How did you just...appear?! Spock: Well, Captain, I was reviewing some back issues of Popular Mechanics and... Kirk: Never mind Spock. H...