nonamedufus

Well, another week another collection of crazy captions. There's so much else going on in the world - riots in London, cement bridges falling apart in Montreal, a band of Republican idiots debating (and I use the word loosely) in Iowa including Minnesota Twins Tim "Pawlenty of barbs"and Michele "Bachmann turned into overdrive" - that I'm happy to see you guys know where your priorities lie. Right here, with Pause Ponder and Pun ! So let's get down to business. Once again you've taken an odd and silly picture and turned it into a thing of, well, oddness and silliness. Good on ya! Or in the case of this week's picture, good on her! Let's see what you came up with... At the fairground, Joseph paid $3 to take a ride on the Hefty Lady Shawn Reverse Lap Dance. It's when you get your money back LOTGK The Craigslist ad simply said "Looking for the top layer of our reverse Oreo cookie" Moooooog Those captions ar...

Summertime and the living is easy. So's my blog schedule. I've moved up this week's PPP results post to today instead of Saturday. I hope you guys don't mind. So, like I'm looking at this pic wondering what the heck is going on and thinking "Gee, maybe this guy was hiding under the Tallahassee Bridge ". Hey, it coulda happened. Well you guys did a lot better than I did this week. Let's see some of the captions... A memorial to all those lost in the fateful "Day It Rained Babies" Moooooog Aaaaghh! Babies everywhere! Damn my virility! Mike The new terrorist IEDs: "Sticky Babies" 00dozo Jane! Get me off of this crazy thing! Quirkyloon But our winner submitted early and submitted often. I laughed at so many of them I had to include them all. 1. Davids and Goliath 2. "Get off my penis!" 3. "Get on my penis." 4. After attacking the babies he was charged with statue-tory rape. 5. It's raining cats and babies. 6. Hul...

Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes a picture like this. I mean what the heck is going on here? I thought this was an updated version of Looby Loo . But what do I know. Well you guys seemed to have an explanation. Let's see what some of you said. The actual "reward" of the Nigerian spam scams. 00dozo Are those cucumbers in your mouths or are you just glad to see me? Boom Boom Larew What birthday could ever be complete without the bumps. And face dildos. Mike Finding shit like this on the hard drive is why I stopped using my dad's computer. moooooog Sigh. I said "hold the pickle." Nicky But Mikewj wins this week with his double whammy (not a euphemism) with: I was Googling "Men with vegetables in their mouths" - don't ask why - and it brought me here. Weird. and James suddenly realized that his worst fears about being sentenced to prison were about to come true. Okay, Mike, you be hangin' with dufus this week. What do yo...

I should have known that a picture of a bunch of near-naked men would have brought the best out in you guys. I thought this was a very appropriate pic this week given the heat wave many of us have been suffering through. As my dear mother might have said about these guys "They couldn't catch their breath in short pants". We had a lot of funny captions this week. Let's get to 'em. They could have saved a lot of money. Instead of all those guys, one black dude could have displayed the whole damn collection. Skeeter You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby right right round round. Quirkyloon But the sign said Singles Night! Whitey Who needs latex when you have vinyl. Madge But our winner this week had me choking on my chimichanga! And that's not a euphemism. Although her caption sure got a rise out of me. "Hey look! We finally got Disqus!" 00dozo Way to go Double zero, that was an hilarious caption. All I could think of after readin...

A couple of administrative items before we get to the good stuff. First up, I was presented with an award this week. Ol Count Sneaky stopped by and dropped off his Bronze Award "...for whatever" because he liked my James Bond parody Dufus, Noname Dufus . Said Sneaky: James Bond apparently had no problems in the testosterone department, but most of us mere mortals do at one time or another, so it's vital that we call on our "sawbones" once a year for a prostate exam. Your take on this exam is hilarious and you deserve recognition for bringing it up, and none the least for making it funny. So, I'm awarding you the coveted(?) and rarely awarded(?) Count Sneaky Bronze Award For Whatever...Enjoy. My best. Well, thanks Count. That's deeply appreciated. The second item I'd like to share with you is I've started another blog. dufus daze - noname notions is meant to be a collection of opinions and observations. I may not always be funny over there, so ...

We had quite a discussion in the comments this week, prompted by Madge, who wrote a very funny, yet what might be considered by some bordering on culturally insensitive post featuring Asian folks. Oh, well. Screw 'em if they can't take a joke, eh Madge? Speaking of Madge, if we were to base our winner on sheer volume both Madge and Cheryl P. would have both won this week, hands down. Way to contribute ladies! As ever, we had many great captions, making it difficult to narrow our submissions down. But I think you'll like what we've come up with. Personally, I thought this guy was just let go from a computer firm in China because he totally blew it when he was asked for his IP address. No, eh? So let's see who else flung dung, er, who said what... Jin does nothing to help the Asian stereotype of being called a 'yellow man'. Moooooog After being challenged by local thugs, Wing runs away humiliated for misinterpreting what was meany by a "pissing contest...

You guys brewed up a lot of great captions this week. Too bad we can't share them all here. But we do have a few honourable mentions on tap... The Beer Buddha 00dozo Ayyyyyy I'm the Fonz! I can drink this beer without touching it! Look ma no hands! Madge Hey guys! Look what I can...BOOM! Mike Chuck Alug's picture was taken right before he died. His friends described his passing as "gut wrenching". It seems that his beer belly ruptured just as he was saying "This one is on me". Cheryl P. Our friend Moooooog went in an entirely different direction...a winning one, with his caption: On the set of "Jon Ate Kate Plus 8" M000000g35 Ha, ha, I didn't see that one coming. But then neither did Kate and her 8. Way to go Moooooog, you be hangin' with the dufus this week. Wanna grab a beer? We can start working on our physiques. Thanks to everyone for playing a long. We'll see you all next week.

Boy the sillier the picture, the greater the captions. I just throw out weird photos and you guys never fail to amaze me. I'm surprised, though, that no one made a reference to Nicolas Cage's "national treasure". Well not in so many words. But here's the words some of you guys used: Holy shit mamma! This can't be a true replica. He feels like a Ken doll!!! Madge It won't let go of my hand! Mike What TSA security agents do when on vacation 00dozo Our winner this week is on a roll, having won last week's contest too! Hey, if people leaving captions tell me they like this one best who am I to argue... The Waxman Cometh Cheryl P. Way to go Cheryl. You're one funny lady. Congratulations, you be hangin' with dufus again. What do you wanna do this week? Wanna check out the dummies at the museum? And how about a salute to our runners-up this week? Great captions everyone. See everyone next week.

I'm disappointed in you guys this week. I thought a caption was so obvious and no one saw the resemblance between the pic and the TV show. My caption would have been: Probie, Tony and Abby extend happy hour in an effort to recover from spending an afternoon witnessing Ducky at work in his autopsy lab. or Misunderstanding Ducky's inference, Abby invites Probie and Tony to the bar down the street after work for a Pabst test. No? Hell I thought somebody would see the kinda resemblance between these yahoos and the characters from that top-rated show NCIS. Guess it was just me. Oh well. Mrs D does say I need glasses. Nevertheless we did have some top-rated puns this week: And it looks like a NO from the judges of "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" Skeeterphonics Troy, Maurice and Britney take second place in the "Biggest Photo Cliche" contest, narrowly losing to Steve and Ted Franklin giving each other "bunny ears". Chris@Knucklehead From right to left: ...

Who knew a coke-addled blonde babe could inspire so many great captions. But I'm dealing with you guys, so nothing should surprise me. It's too bad we can only limit ourselves to just some of the submissions. But here's a taste... I've tried snorting coke but the bubbles always get up my nose Josie I snort Diet Coke because I want to keep my girlish figure. Madge Purple Pamela used to do speedballs, but they made her stop sticking her head in front of the pitching machine. Then she tried moving on to horse, but wouldn't you know? Another concussion when it kicked her. KABLOOEY Finally, evidence that Coke's competitors tampered with their product before asking the public to take the Pepsi Challenge Whitey (from *spits* Toronto) But it was a previous winner and a former colleague of mine who had me snorting (laughing, that is - hey, humour's a natural high!) Harold Camping's disciple NostrilDamus confirms end of the world! Raymond Way to go Ray. You be han...

You guys never disappoint. I just keep throwing weird pictures out there and each week the captions get better and better. This week I have a dilemma. What with The Rapture and all I kind of got carried away and in a last ditch effort to demonstrate what a swell guy I am ('cause I heard the Lord was back and this time he's pissed) I've decided to proclaim two winners this week. When you see their captions I think you'll agree. First up our honourable mentions... If this looks painful, you should see which part of his body the other 37 clothespins are attached to. we took the bait Nathan the Nerd prepared for another wild evening of battling Sonic the Hedgehog. Boom Boom Larew Put on Broadway plays in your own home! Available for immediate shipment, the first release of Play-In-A-Box from Ronco - Lion King Edition. Call now operators are standing by. Bryant Hutchinson "I ran out of Pro-activ. I had to do something for my Pimples." Raymond And our winners? Osam...

Oh we had a slew of great captions this week! Far too many to include here but let's see if I can share with you a random sampling. They were all so great I'm running a few more honourable mentions than I normally do. Billy Bob Thornton hoping to run into Brangelina. Quirkyloon Going shopping to Wal-Mart. Mrs. Dufus (hey, I know her!) Today, the Shepherds of Good Hope launched their new Shabby Dick collection. Raymond It's amazing how much Natalie Portman had to change her appearance for "Black Swan" Moooooog It's laundry day for Gene Simmons. Madge I woke up this morning singing: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and gay And I pity Any girl who isn't me today" Cheryl But there was something about this pic that really stood out for our winner, Leeuna ... Is that your camel-toe...er, hoof, or are you just happy to see me? Heh, heh, congratulations Leeuna! You be hangin' with dufus this week. We should get dressed up and go ...

You know I marvel week after week how I just throw up some old picture and you guys come up with these terrific captions. Man, you guys are warped. How warped? Well, let's see: The darker side of the "Toy Story" franchise. Moooooog They finally released photos of the leader of the "tail-i-ban" Usama bin Squirrel-in! Skeeter Whitey and Dufus refute the idea they are city boys by bringing down their first kill. Nicky Covert Mission: Operation Roadkill Rocky AKA Squirrel, status: Killed Next target: Alvin AKA The Chipmunk... GI Joe is calling out: Alvin...ALVIN...AAAALLLVVVIIINNN Cheryl But damn if Madge didn't have me bustin' a gut with: The last time I bagged a rodent like this I had to buy it drinks first. Way to go Madge. You be hangin' with the dufus! Wanna grab a drink or sumpin'? You're buyin'. Ha, ha. Congrats to everyone and thanks for playing. And for those of you doing a drive-by today visit these people's blogs. You think th...

This week's pic showed how really twisted some of you guys are. We had a lot of good captions and many birthday and blogaversary wishes, too. Thanks guys. Okay let's see if we can unravel things. We'll start with some honourable mentions... Leroy finally figured out where that smell was coming from. Quirkyloon A possible side-effect resulting from the new and improved KY products? 00dozo I'm gonna hafta bow out of this one; the competition is just too twisted. ba_hutch And just like that, Rodney invented the highway off-ramp. (T-shirts and mugs now available) Whitey (via Facebook) Good one Jim, er, ah, Whitey but funnily enough Rodney er, ah, Moooooog wins this week with: If I could do this, I'd never leave the house. Way to go Moooooog. You be hangin' with dufus this week, literally. Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a caption. Back again next Wednesday with another edition of Pause Ponder and Pun.

We had some excellent captions this week. First up, our honourable mentions... "Trust us, Joe. We just put a fresh coat of invisible paint on it." Moooooog Neil Armstrong rethinks his famous quote, "That's one giant step for man..." Boom Boom Larew STEP ON THE YELLOW LINE FAA's new test for pilots flying while under the influence. Raymond And our winner is... Joe, going on his first date with Wonder Woman, is a little leery about letting her drive. ba_hutch Way to go ba_hutch. This week you be hangin' with the dufus. Wanna get together and hunt for easter eggs?

Woah, guys. Your responses were over the top this week both in quantity and quality. A lot of hilarious comments, believe me. We even had one comment - an anonymous one - that indicated the photo wasn't funny and should be taken down. This person was quite perturbed. Now there's validation for ya. PPP really is off the wall and no topic is taboo around here! We're going to expand our honourable mentions this week because there were so many good ones. Now, where should we start? At this year's science fair, young Eric introduced man's newest travelling companion, Shrinkie, the first portable lap doll. "It's Shrinkie, it's Shrinkie, man's first portable doll. It's Shrinkie, it's Shrinkie the most wonderful doll of them all." Raymond And Tom was never wing-man for Tiger Woods again! Skeeter Amazingly, her face distracts you from her ridiculously huge left hand. Chris@Knucklehead! Moooooog finally convinces his sister to go to the prom with...

I know Southwest Airlines was having problems, but this is ridiculous! Okay, that was kinda lame, but then so are some of Southwest's planes these days. Luckily, you guys had much better captions. Raymond dive-bombed us with: GM's Cruze missile. Mike from Mind of Spaz flew by with: And that was the incident that had the military adopt a pro-rated flying licensing system. And Skeeter over at Dead Dog took off with: "Pimp My Ride", military edition. But it waso 00dozo from When I Reach who put my seat back and chair tray in the upright position (not a euphemism) with: "Car 54, where are you?" Ha, ha, that caption took me back. Way to go 00doz. You be hangin' with dufus this week. Congratulations my friend. Thanks to all for playing. We'll see you with our next PPP next Wednesday.

TEN-HUT! Our captioners came well armed this week. Even though I thought this was the guy they originally hired before Tom Cruise to tell Jack Nicholson that he couldn't handle the truth. But I digress. laughingmom marched right in with: Hey! Who stole my bugle?!? Last week's winner Raymond demonstrated a little rear guard action with: And then Louie sat on his bayonet. Perennial runner-up 00dozo lobbed this one in: Sgt. Stern suddenly discovers he was unsuccessful in squeaking out a "silent one" during troop inspection. But it was LOTGK who made me surrender with: A very rare military photo of comedian Jerry Lewis HEY LADY!!! You know when I see LOTGK's acronym I always think of that Andy Kaufman character on TAXI - Latka or else I think of the simplest model of predator-prey interactions known as the Lotka-Volterra . Believe me this model's no Victoria Secret. But, hey, that's a story for a whole other time. But, nope, it really stands for Lurking O...

I'm surprised no one came up with "poopy head" for our picture this week, except me. Shows you where my head's at. (ha, ha, pun intended) Well let's tap into some of this week's craptions, erm, um, captions. Boom Boom let one drop with: Ms. Paladin's motto: Have Bathroom - Will Travel laughingmom gave us a little tinkle with: port-a-potty 00dozo must have been mighty flushed after coming up with this: Really bad television crossovers: America's Next Top Model contestants host an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. But it was the blogless Raymond who demonstrated himself to be a man after my own pun with: I heard this year's Easter Parade has been moved to Flushing Meadows. Way to go Raymond. You be hanging' with dufus. Congratulations on that ripping caption! I think you've managed to clear the air this week with that one. Thanks to everyone who participated. Looking forward to next week's exercise. But wait. And this week we ...

Wow, I'm impressed. Who knew it only took a couple of bruised and battered babies to bring out the best in people! Ahem, maybe I should rephrase that. This was a banner week for PPP both in the quantity and quality of captions. You folks floated like a butterfly and punned like Ali. For instance Boom Boom , who knows a little bit about my family, threw a left hook with: Whitey vs. Killer? Whitey! Winning! Quirkyloon weighed in with: Charlie and Emilio show off their winning ways. Chris@Knucklehead got ready to rumble with: Llllllllet's get ready to ... WAAAAAAH!!!! 00dozo threw this jab: After enticing Curly to punch himself bare fisted in the eye, Moe has an epiphany for a future vaudeville routine. But I thought Jamie scored a knock-out with: Nobody, and I mean NOBODY touches my sippy cup!! Who-hoo Jamie. You be hangin' with the dufus this week. Way to go, guy. Congratulations. Feel free to grab that dufus pic up there to display on your blog, man. And to everyone el...