I’m sure Kim Kardashian is a wonderful person. I mean being a reality show harlot and a sex tape queen aside – two essential celebutante assets, to be sure – I’m certain she’s a very nice individual, entirely worthy of being a BFF (Biggest Fanny Forever) to Paris “That’s So Hot” Hilton. Speaking of two assets, there’s no doubt when snapped from behind by the pursuing paparazzi who those ass cheeks belong to. Uh-huh. None other than double K. She’s got it all over J- LO and Beyonce. All over. And that’s saying something ’cause those girls are really out there in the BAAS – Biggest Ass in America Sweepstakes. Kim and her ass are so lucky compared to me and my boney rump. If I had KK’s ass… 1) sitting on a sharp object would go largely unnoticed 2) it wouldn’t go to sleep while sitting on the toilet 3) you could fart in public and not worry about it finding it’s way out until 3 days later 4) it would give new meaning to being cheeky 5) hell, it would give new meaning to turn the other ...