Thursday, 23 June 2016
Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.
Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."
Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.
"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise
The move was quite smart
For he often would fart
Bringing streams of tears to thier eyes."
Well, Paulie laughed and laughed until his ribs hurt and he couldn't help farting himself. You know sometimes when you laugh so hard you fart at the same time? No? Well that's what Paulie did, if you can imagine."Oh that was quite the profundity oh Wise One" cried Paulie.
Replied Pete "It was a profound ditty, wasn't it?
This week's prompt from the girls at Studio30+ was profundity/wisdon. I've responded to the prompts in my own unique fashion, as ever.
Friday, 17 June 2016
Two Jamaicans meet on the street and recognize each other. They fall into a little discussion.
#1: "Ya, mawn good to see you derr my friend."
#2: "Ya, mawn me too, derr. How ya been doin' mawn?"
#1: "It is what it is, mawn. Ya know? Been doin' not much. How 'bout you?"
#2 "Life be good ya know mawn? I been doin' not much neither my friend."
#1: "That be the life, mawn. You know?'
#2: "Oh, I know, my mawn. I know."
#1: "Say nice dreads my mawn. How long it take ya to grow dem?"
#2: "Oh, deese? About five years, mawn, yeah. But look at yours, dey be much longer dan mine, man. Ya might even say dey be more dreadful dan mine mawn."
#1: "Yeah, me mawn it take about seven years for deese dreads ."
#2: "Hey mawn ya got any ghanja? I been needin' me a good hit for some time now."
#1: "Ya know I do mawn. And I always got a bit to share with a brother. Let's just go around the corner here where I can roll us a nice spliff."
#2: "We be nefarious my brother. We be righteously nefarious."
#1: "Hold up mawn. We be what?
#2: "Nefarious, mawn. Nefarious."
#1: "I don't know who raised you mawn but we be no nefarious." (inhales deeply)
#2 : "Who we be den mawn?"
#1: "Why we be Rastafarians you idiot!"
Well the prompt from the gals at Studio30+ this week was nefarious/evil. See just how evil the other participants were by clicking on the link in the previous sentence.
Wednesday, 8 June 2016
Junior: "Those clouds are getting dark."
Daddy: "Ya reckon?"
Junior: "Yep, and the wind's bound to pick up."
Daddy: "Ya reckon?"
Junior: "Yep, and just look at the leaves on those trees inside out. It's bound to rain soon."
Daddy: "Ya reckon?"
Junior: "Yep, I think we ought to get the family down to the storm cellar."
Daddy: "Ya reckon?"
Junior: "Yep, cause storm winds can blow really strong and turn into twisters."
Daddy: "Ya reckon?"
Junior: "And the rain could cause a flood."
Daddy: "Ya reckon?"
Junior: "Yep, and if we don't do something soon that wind and rain will pulverize the house and barn on and on until little's left of them,"
Daddy: "Yeah, wreck on and on and on, I guess."
The prompt from the folks at Studio30+ this week was reckon/guess. And I reckon I pass the test. Click on the link to see how others treated the prompt. If you don't you're just guessing.
Wednesday, 1 June 2016
My God how time flies. It's already June and I'm way behind being on track for fifty books this year. I read four in May bringing my year-to-date total to 15. What were the four?
Well, I started the month with a quick read titled George Harrison Reconsidered. The title itself appealed to me because I always felt Harrison was the overlooked Beatle; that he had a lot of talent that people never spoke about or gave him credit for. My only problem with this book was that it was far too short. (3 stars)
Book two was The Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood. Similar in feel to her recent MaddAddam Trilogy, the Guardian describes it as "a jubilant comedy of errors, bizarre bedroom farce. SF prison-break thriller, psychedelic 60s crime caper". Now I ask you how can you turn that down. I didn't and enjoyed it immensely. (4 stars)
My third book was Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II. Not unlike volume one I found this disappointing. When you'e going behind the scenes in the making of rock albums I don't think a duo on Lawrence Welk or the 5th Dimension qualify. This book had its moments, but not enough of them. (3 stars)
I closed out the month with The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, the sixth in the Dave Robicheaux series. Robicheaux is a part-time rural Louisiana cop. True to the detective genre Robicheaux operates a little outside the box. If you like detective novels and are looking for a new one to follow I'd recommend this series. (4 stars)
I finished out the 7th season of The Sopranos in my binge watching this month. The 4 season Treme I just loved both for the music and the backstory of one New Orleans neighbourhood after Katrina.
And my wife and I watched the available two seasons of Grace and Frankie, on Netflix, a hilarious comedy with Jane Fonda, Lilly Tomlin, Sam Waterston and Martin Sheen. We loved it.
I bought a lot of music this month and I don't usually go into my listening pleasures here but I have to mention two I bought at the end of the month. The new Jayhawks, Paging Mr. Proust, is very nice...much like the old Jayhawks and fans will know what I mean.
But the best of all CDs was from the Skydiggers, a Canadian band, titled Here Without You. - The Songs of Gene Clark. Clark was a songwriter/singer with the Byrds before he had a moderately successful solo career. The title of this monthly post is a tip of the hat to the Byrds by the way. This CD is a lovely collection of stripped-down, but harmonically tight tunes. My favourite CD this year. And that's saying something because I buy a lot of CDs.
Anyway, that was my May when it comes to what I was reading, watching and listening to.
How about you? I'm always looking for recommendations.
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
Captains Smug and Vainglorious sat comfortably in the pilot seats of their Martian spacecraft. A successful lift off had propelled them thousands of light years close to earth. As they neared the great planet Smug declared smugly "Time to take the ship off auto-pilot" to which Vainglorious replied somewhat vaingloriously "I thought you'd never do that." They each regarded the other with arched eyebrows which both had come to accept as code for 'nuff said'.
As the exit door opened they both strode toward the gangplank but found they could not disembark side by side. Smug and Vainglorious had not run into this problem with other space captains such as Captain Humble, Captain Unsure or Captain Modest. Although shifts with Captain Pompous and Captain Stuck Up had proven challenging. So arching their eyebrows at one another they decided to dismount the ship sideways, face-to-face.
It's not that Smug and Vainglorious didn't like each other it's just that each thought he was better than the other. And with the upcoming competition for an Admiral's position Smug and Vainglorious were both sure they had the edge over the other candidates, Captain Hotshot and Captain Holier-Than-Thou.
As they stood there contemplating this an earthling by the name of John spied them and waved to them. Smug and Vainglorious looked at one another wondering what to do as a wave from an earthling was certainly beneath them. John, not to be deterred and seeing as he was a bit of a snob lowered his arm as if his wave had never occurred.
"Pardon me", said Smug "Could you tell us what time it is?"
"Time?" replied John. "I don't wear a watch."
"Well then how do you tell time?" inquired Vainglorious.
"I tell time by when I receive my CDs in the mail from Amazon.ca."
"A bit of a music lover are we?" asked Vainglorious smugly as he new the answer which was so obvious.
"Yes, I am" replied John with a self-satisfied grin. "And right now it's forty-five minutes past Bob Dylan and quarter to Eric Clapton.
Smug and Vainglorious looked at John with eyebrows arched.
The prompts were smug and vainglorious from Studio30+ this week. "Surprised?" he asked with eyebrows arched.
Saturday, 28 May 2016
It was a Friday night and after months of unsuccessful attempts at the dating site scene Billy Goodbar decided to visit a bar or two. He went out alone as he really had no friends to accompany him - a fact Bill had failed to consider in his failed attempts to make friends with the opposite sex on eHarmony, Match.com and Desperate and Lonely.
So where some might leave in a huff, Bill chose a cab to take him downtown to the busy bar district. Bill walked up the sidewalk of one side of the street and down the other, not unlike a tourist on brightly lit Bourbon Street New Orleans. A shy, lonely fellow with no friends Bill was in the third season of binge-watching TREME and he felt like a character in the show as the soundtrack flooded round his head over and over
Bill decided he could not wait any more and as he looked up at the fancy lit signs chose Alphonse's Bar - Live Music. He suspected the Dead had been through town last week. Bill tripped over the doorsill as he was still looking up at the sign but he picked himself up and dusted himself off as his eyes became accustomed to the darkly lit interior. He chose a seat at the bar with a good view of the stage and ordered a beer. And then he saw her.
She was sitting at the end of the bar. No one was sitting with her. Small wonder. Her flowing locks were piled as high as a pyramid on the top of her head but many snakes of the Nile drifted down to her shoulders. Oddly enough she wore a kerchief to hold it all together. Her glasses sat askew on the end of her nose and it was a wonder she could see through all the fingerprints on each lens.
As Bill rounded the bar getting nearer and nearer he noticed her apparel. And how could one not. She wore an orange cardigan sweater - a colour louder than the band on the stage. Over this she wore a cowboy vest which was somewhat odd seeing this was a blues bar. Her jeans were a size or two too large and on her feet she wore argyle socks and penny-loafers with quarters in them. Around her on the bar were what looked like a week's worth of peanut shells. The the week before''s lay at her feet. As he crunched quietly toward her to introduce himself he tripped over her purse, something the size of a shopping bag. Oh, wait, it was a bowling ball bag as she'd just come from the aisles.
Bill was not deterred. He introduced himself and offered to buy her a drink. She smiled, indicating a dark gap in her upper gums wider than the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.
"My name's Bill, what's yours?" he shouted as the music started up.
"Desiree" she spat into his face, her chewing gum bouncing off his nose.
"Disarray. I should have known."
The Studio30+ prompt this week was shambles/disarray.