Signs An Athlete Is Over the Hill

As we grow older some of us do silly things. The silliest of all, perhaps is to not admit we may be getting over the hill. Here's a quick joke to reinforce my point.

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Arthur is 90 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I’ve hit the ball, I can’t see where it went.” His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.” “That’s no good,” sighs Arthur. “Your brother’s a hundred and three. He can’t help.” “He may be a hundred and three,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.” So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. “Did you see the ball?” “Of course I did!” replies the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.” “Where did it go?” asks Arthur. “I don’t remember.”

Funny joke, but it helps underline that the golfer with the failing eyesight should have just admitted his faults and failings and thrown in the golf towel. What is it with over-the-hill athletes who refuse to call it quits? Lord knows they have enough fame and fortune. Is it ego? Duh!

The most recent over-the-hill athlete - and if he's not over-the-hill he's certainly on it - is Packers, er, ah... Jets, uhh... oh yeah, Vikings QB Bret Favre. This guys retired and unretired twice in the last 2 years. Has Brett taken one sack too many? This guy's gonna be 40 years old next month. If he makes it through the season and takes his guys to the Superbowl in February he'd be the oldest quarter back ever to play in that playoff match. Good luck with that, old man.

While some athletes don't know when to quit playing others don't know when to shut up.

Michael Jordon was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame last Week. Was the greatest man that ever played the game gracious and appreciative of this honour? Well it was sure hard to tell from the speech he gave. He crapped all over former coaches and players, mentioned his kids as an afterthought and later told reporters and the world there'd never be another Michael Jordon. Give it a rest Michael. You were a great player. But that was then. Now you're over the hill.

Last weekend, one of the most revered woman in all of tennis - save her sister - Serena Williams showed she was getting over the hill...at the age of 27...when she let loose at a line judge over a call she made against her at the US Open and threatened to ram a tennis ball where the sun don't shine and I quote: "Down your fucking throat". So much for "love" in tennis.

And some dude named Kanye pooped all over MTV VMA winner Taylor Swift (metaphorically speaking) when he stormed the stage, grabbed the microphone from her and told all assembled Beyoncé should have won. Someone should tell Kanye he Kantye.

If these last two aren't over the hill, they're sure over the line. (Well Serena was, literally!) They apologized later, but the damage was done.

But to come full circle, back to getting over the hill and not knowing when to call it a day, I think that great actor and philospher of our times Burt "don't touch my toupee" Reynolds kinda summed it up on when vain, egotistical individuals should call it quits when he said:

Retirement must be wonderful.
I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long.

Or let your head expand...

For more "over the hill" perspectives drop by Theme Thursday today.