Send Him Back

Randy Quaid, despite his protestations to the contrary, is crazy. The Hollywood actor and his equally loopy life-partner Evi are seeking amnesty in Canada. Uh, huh. Why? Because the the two are convinced "Hollywood star whackers" are out to kill them just as they have Chris Penn, David Carradine and Heath Ledger.

Quaid - Whacko

Say what? Oh, yeah. Now you know why they call Southern California "la-la land". These two are a couple of fruit loops.

And Randy can't understand why his more famous brother Dennis is ignoring his warnings. Cue Twilight Zone sound effect: *do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do*

And you thought the Baldwin brothers were Hollywood's haywire family.

Carradine - Whacked?

I'm starting a petition right now to urge the Government of Canada to send Randy Quaid back to where he came from. Who'll join me?

Think about it. What's next? Charlie Sheen seeks refugee status because he'll be persecuted by prostitutes in his homeland? Paris Hilton hightails it North because someone told her, in her words, "It's hot." Oh, I know, I know. David Spade wants to start life over in a Canadian sit-com. He'd be better off in the witness protection program where no one would see him. Oh, then I guess a Canadian sit-com would be perfect. I mean, holy crap, folks. Canada could soon be deluged by freaked-out unfunny Hollywood types. We could become a dumping ground for around the bend American actors.

And if you let one in, you'll have to let them all in. And you know what'll happen then? Geez, Celine Dion will want to come home.

Dion - Weird!

This whacked-out tale first appeared at Parody Files, a pretty whacky place in itself.

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...

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The Polka Dot Door

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

My Back Pages - November