Skip to main content

Send Him Back


Randy Quaid, despite his protestations to the contrary, is crazy. The Hollywood actor and his equally loopy life-partner Evi are seeking amnesty in Canada. Uh, huh. Why? Because the the two are convinced "Hollywood star whackers" are out to kill them just as they have Chris Penn, David Carradine and Heath Ledger.

Quaid - Whacko

Say what? Oh, yeah. Now you know why they call Southern California "la-la land". These two are a couple of fruit loops.

And Randy can't understand why his more famous brother Dennis is ignoring his warnings. Cue Twilight Zone sound effect: *do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do*

And you thought the Baldwin brothers were Hollywood's haywire family.

Carradine - Whacked?

I'm starting a petition right now to urge the Government of Canada to send Randy Quaid back to where he came from. Who'll join me?

Think about it. What's next? Charlie Sheen seeks refugee status because he'll be persecuted by prostitutes in his homeland? Paris Hilton hightails it North because someone told her, in her words, "It's hot." Oh, I know, I know. David Spade wants to start life over in a Canadian sit-com. He'd be better off in the witness protection program where no one would see him. Oh, then I guess a Canadian sit-com would be perfect. I mean, holy crap, folks. Canada could soon be deluged by freaked-out unfunny Hollywood types. We could become a dumping ground for around the bend American actors.

And if you let one in, you'll have to let them all in. And you know what'll happen then? Geez, Celine Dion will want to come home.

Dion - Weird!

This whacked-out tale first appeared at Parody Files, a pretty whacky place in itself.
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
Amen!

But you hurt me wicked hard when you dissed fruit loops. That happens to be one of my faves, brings back many loony and loopy memories.

hee hee
5 November 2010 at 11:10
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Okay, sorry. How about he's crazy for Cocoa Puffs?
5 November 2010 at 12:14
00dozo said…
Hey, don't be dissin' my Cocoa Puffs either!
;-)

I think Quaid actually played "himself" in Independence Day - I mean, really, he played it perfectly.
5 November 2010 at 15:02
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Yeah, but didn't he die in that movie?
5 November 2010 at 15:20
Linda Medrano said…
I thought he was dead. But maybe I'm thinking of that other guy. Belushi?
5 November 2010 at 18:01
nonamedufus said…
Linda: Yeah, that other guy's definitely dead. Quaid only died in a movie.
5 November 2010 at 18:14
Whitey said…
Couldn't we just put them all in the Michael Moriarty compound in Maple Ridge?
6 November 2010 at 18:11
nonamedufus said…
Whitey: Hey, that's a great idea. I completely forgot about Michael Moriarty. This harbouring of American ass-hats started when we gave that guy citizenship after he drank himself silly in Halifax bars after his turn on Law and Order. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?
6 November 2010 at 19:23
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...
41 comments
Read more

Hello Goodbye

Today a bit of a reflective piece. Rather than being funny, this is  about the funny. It's a day of mixed emotion at nonamedufus . You see, after several months of inactivity I've dropped a couple of former blogger buddies off my blog roll. I kept hanging on and hanging on hoping they'd return to active blogging but, alas, after waiting in one case five months I've decided to let them go. I'm going to miss - going to? I have been missing - Margo at the Screaming Me-Me . She was one funny lady. From time to time she and I would engage in a feud or two for several days at a time but it was all in fun both for us and, I think, for our readers. And we'd leave each other funny comments, poking fun at each other. I miss her friendship and our humorous exchanges. The other blogger I'm letting go is Chelle, The Offended Blogger . Chelle was a special lady. In addition to her own blog she created and managed Humor Bloggers Dot Com where humour bloggers like m...
16 comments
Read more

The Dangling Conversation

There's a debate underway in my household between my wife and I. I say "underway" because it hasn't quite reached the "raging" stage. If you want raging, my wife (a Francophone) and I (an Anglophone) from time to time (usually in a weak moment of my own making) slip into our number one discussion around why we don't speak more French at home - ergo - when am I, a former public servant who learned French at the expense of our gracious taxpayers and was technically rated bilingual (even though I hardly used it), going to improve my use of Canada's other language? This one never gets resolved, hence it's ongoing nature. But the current debate is over a remark I casually made the other day. I'm no geek, but with a lot of time on my hands I surf the web, converse on Facebook and such and - I have to admit - "I'm nonamedufus and I'm a Twitterholic". In an epiphany-like moment I was struck by the apparent impact of social networkin...
15 comments
Read more