Send Him Back

Randy Quaid, despite his protestations to the contrary, is crazy. The Hollywood actor and his equally loopy life-partner Evi are seeking amnesty in Canada. Uh, huh. Why? Because the the two are convinced "Hollywood star whackers" are out to kill them just as they have Chris Penn, David Carradine and Heath Ledger.

Quaid - Whacko

Say what? Oh, yeah. Now you know why they call Southern California "la-la land". These two are a couple of fruit loops.

And Randy can't understand why his more famous brother Dennis is ignoring his warnings. Cue Twilight Zone sound effect: *do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do*

And you thought the Baldwin brothers were Hollywood's haywire family.

Carradine - Whacked?

I'm starting a petition right now to urge the Government of Canada to send Randy Quaid back to where he came from. Who'll join me?

Think about it. What's next? Charlie Sheen seeks refugee status because he'll be persecuted by prostitutes in his homeland? Paris Hilton hightails it North because someone told her, in her words, "It's hot." Oh, I know, I know. David Spade wants to start life over in a Canadian sit-com. He'd be better off in the witness protection program where no one would see him. Oh, then I guess a Canadian sit-com would be perfect. I mean, holy crap, folks. Canada could soon be deluged by freaked-out unfunny Hollywood types. We could become a dumping ground for around the bend American actors.

And if you let one in, you'll have to let them all in. And you know what'll happen then? Geez, Celine Dion will want to come home.

Dion - Weird!

This whacked-out tale first appeared at Parody Files, a pretty whacky place in itself.

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...

nonamedufus

Search This Blog

Send Him Back

Labels

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore