You may want to think twice about adding fries to that double cheeseburger order next time you're out at the local fast-food joint.
In Indiantown, Florida last week a 32 year-old guy went to town on his 51 year-old wife for, and I quote, "eating all the french fries".
Can't you see the next McDonald's campaign? They'll go from "I'm lovin' it" to "Fries worth fightin' for".
Anyway, the guy started swinging a 12 inch bat at his wife - now there's a weapon, maybe he used to play little league. He could have been a short fella - you know, a small fry.
Now, puns aside, this called to mind a classic radio newscast that made the rounds when I was starting out in radio. If audiotapes could go "viral" this was it. In one of the first instances of a Canadian radio station adopting an American format, in the late 60s/early 70s a Windsor radio station tried to attract Detroit listeners from across the border by, among other things, jazzing up their newscasts, which were read by deep-voiced announcers with machine gun deliveries and utilized that infamous journalism credo if it bleeds it leads. The station was CKLW "The Big 8" and the image-laden stories were featured on their "20/20 News" newscasts 20 minutes after the hour and 20 minutes before the next hour.
One story in particular had a theme similar to the story out of Florida where the announcer said, words to the effect "...that ticked the hubby off...and he picked up his Louisville Slugger...and proceeded to bat a thousand...against the little lady's head."
Them's fightin' words.
Getting back to our current case, the action all took place in the couple's trailer (I should have guessed.) And hubby was somewhat intoxicated at the time (but, of course). He must have been. He only managed to hit the woman's foot. But that was enough for cops to charge the guy with false imprisonment with a weapon, battery and assault.
So next time you go out for burgers with your loved-one, think carefully before you answer the question "do you want fries with that?"