Talk Like A Pirate Day/Sunday Funnies

Well today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. ARRR you having fun yet? Pirates are quite unique. Who else do you know goes around wearing an eye patch, a hook for a hand, and a peg-leg. Oh, I've just described your next door neighbour? Oh, well.

Q. If a pirate's used to bounding over the seas in a pirate ship how does he travel across the country?
A. Why he drives a cARRR or hops on an ARRRplane just like the rest of us.

Q. What's a modern pirate's favourite musical group?
A. ARRRcade Fire

Q. Do pirates have false teeth?
A. No they just have a pARRRtial plate.

Q. Do pirates prefer MacDonald's or Burger King?
A. Neither. They go to ARRRby's, stupid.

Q. Why are pirates peg-legs made of wood?
A. Because they're all ARRRborists.

Q. That explains the raw materials but how are they designed?
A. They're also ARRRchitects!

Q. Do pirates go to bed early or do they like to stay out late?
A. Silly, pirates love to pARRRty.

Q. If the Village People sing "In the Navy" what do pirate people sing?
A. "In the ARRRmy.

Q. Do pirates work very hard at their profession?
A. ARRRdently!

We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress...

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...

nonamedufus

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