Skip to main content

The Offended Roastee

It's Roast Week over at the web mother house of humour Humor Bloggers Dot Com. That's not a typo. I'm Canadian, they're not. I say humour, they say humor. I say poh-tay-toe, they say I talk funny. Vive la difference. Any hoo, the objects of our objection are HBDC`s onerous owner, originator and overlord Chelle B and her ass-kissing able administrative assistant Da Old Man. Hey, remember this is a roast! ;)

By way of background, our two targets are both going though some challenging medical dilemmas. Chelle's of two minds, you might say, and Da Old Man's been spiralling in an endless vortex of medical maelstroms, hospitalized since early summer.


I've decided to roast each of my blogging buds separately. Today, Chelle is the object of my afflictions and tomorrow DOM. Or to put it more succinctly: today the schizoid, tomorrow the whorled.


Chelle splits her mind and her time between two blogs. Not only does she run the web's wackiest home for humour hipsters but she also likes to alienate them and anyone else who might drop by her other blog The Offended Blogger.

There she shares her own warped and wacky approach to world events while sipping back on a tequila or two while munching a couple of tacos fresh from her local neighbourhood dealer Jesus (no, the other one).

But her bi-sensual problems extend beyond that. The woman lives in eastern Idaho on the edge of the Teton mountain range - never a more serene and tranquil setting - and yet the only coniferous related activity she undertakes is "pining" for this guy and his band mates...


...Berlin rock band Rammstein. What she sees in these guys, I'll never know. Well apart from the really hot man-parts of their lead singer. (Kinda like the male heavy metal version of Lady Gaga.)

Of course the only Rammsteins I'm interested in are on this Bavarian beer wench - wink, wink, nudge, nudge. (Will you look at those steins!)

But in summing up, Chelle, I really do love you for your mind, whatever condition it's in. And even though you monkey around with the look and style of HBDC more than a three year-old with ADD on Ritalin it's the greatest spot on the Internet. Thanks for letting us all play there. And be well!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Nicely played, sir, but you went easy on her, I think. You needed to be a little more offensive. ;)

Nice steins, though. :)
Anonymous said…
She looks familiar( having flash-backs to Oktoberfeast...er fest '81 )...
Me-Me King said…
Great job there, dufus. Love the photos!
Anonymous said…
Ha! Nicely done Noname! I forgot about her unique music tastes. Too busy thinking about her tacos! hee hee

And in her honor?

Hooyah!

*smile*
nonamedufus said…
UR: Not offensive enough? We'll let her be the judge. She's the expert!

subby: To my mind she looks like Chelle. Well I wouldn't know about the steins.

Me-Me: It was a fun post to write.

Quirks: Yep, she's got some unique musical tastes - hooyah!
ReformingGeek said…
Nice job! I'll pass on the steins but those hot man parts? Mighty fine.
nonamedufus said…
RG: hahaha - well I guess there's a little something for everybody there!
Um, RAWR!

I'm adding that shot of Till and his flaming "mein teil" to my wall of worship, thanks!

UR was right, I was only slightly offended. Her steins are totally fake. :p
nonamedufus said…
Chelle: OMG the 3 year old with ADD on Ritalin herself!!! If I'd known you were comin' I'd have baked a taco. ;)
Donnie said…
I share your sentiments completely. Although I would like to add that she eats meat and slaughters innocent little animals in her quest for more and more meat. Just beware her mighty crossbow and aim. It's a killer!
nonamedufus said…
Don: Thanks for the heads up. Now you're scaring me!
nipsy said…
Love it!! Would it be too weird to admit I'm jealous of those "steins"?
nonamedufus said…
nips: They certainly are big jugs...of beer.

Popular posts from this blog

Twittercide is Painless

Hey, don't forget to stop by my caption contest - Pause, Ponder and Pun - and leave a caption. You might win exciting prizes. Well, no prizes really but significant web cred to have been awarded the I Be Hangin' With Dufus citation. Oh yeah, baby! Meanwhile on with today's post...

The debate on the positive versus negative impacts of social media networking continues, this time around the Catholic Church has waded in.

Me? In addition to having friends in the real world, I find such social media as Twitter, Facebook and my blog an interesting way to interact with new people across all social strata, age groups and geographic locations. Indeed, I think it's the technological equivalent of Walt Disney's philosophy: It's A Small World, After All. (I stress philosophy and not that annoying theme park song)





Couldn't watch it all, could you? But I digress...


I thought the Catholic Church ran out of feet to stand on a long time ago. But apparently it has as many feet…

Exercising My Rights (And My Lefts)

I confess, I'm not the most energetic of people. After all I'm a guy whose Facebook status reads "I'm not lazy. I'm just energy efficient". In fact, few people know but if you look up couch potato in the dictionary it has my picture.

At my house, we're so lazy even my cat is a couch potato.

But I've decided it's high time to do something about it. I've decided to undertake cross-country skiing. And, speaking of which, after our little session this morning, an undertake-r is something I could have really used. We're quite fortunate where we live. The ski trails are a five-minute walk (more exercise!). But miracle of miracles, I stayed upright the whole time. Putting the skis on was interesting.
"You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out..."
The trail itself was gorgeous, with hardly anyone else out at 9:30 in the morning. Which worked out fine for me. I didn't have to pull over to let faster skiers (read: everyone e…

30 Days of Photos - #4 - The Experiment

If you expected to find Pause Ponder and Pun here don't worry. You can still leave a caption on this week's pic over at dufus daze while we run 30 Days of Photos on my main blog...
****
Welcome to 30 Days of Photos, where 18 bloggers are participating in posting a photo a day for 30 days. Here are the other 17 you can visit after you've been here:
ZivaMikeNicky & MikeMoMeleahBryanMariannMalissaNoraLaughing MomTanyaElizabeth00dozoCherylKristenPam andKatherine


Here's something unusual for an urban centre. In the heart of Canada's capital is a huge block of open land (400 hectares) called The Central Experimental Farm. It was established in 1886 (thats a long time for an "experiment") as the central research station for the federal Department of Agriculture. When I first entered the public service in the mid 80s (that's the 1990s) I worked at Agriculture in the Sir John Carling Building located on the farm.

Cutting through th…