Skip to main content

The Offended Roastee

It's Roast Week over at the web mother house of humour Humor Bloggers Dot Com. That's not a typo. I'm Canadian, they're not. I say humour, they say humor. I say poh-tay-toe, they say I talk funny. Vive la difference. Any hoo, the objects of our objection are HBDC`s onerous owner, originator and overlord Chelle B and her ass-kissing able administrative assistant Da Old Man. Hey, remember this is a roast! ;)

By way of background, our two targets are both going though some challenging medical dilemmas. Chelle's of two minds, you might say, and Da Old Man's been spiralling in an endless vortex of medical maelstroms, hospitalized since early summer.

I've decided to roast each of my blogging buds separately. Today, Chelle is the object of my afflictions and tomorrow DOM. Or to put it more succinctly: today the schizoid, tomorrow the whorled.

Chelle splits her mind and her time between two blogs. Not only does she run the web's wackiest home for humour hipsters but she also likes to alienate them and anyone else who might drop by her other blog The Offended Blogger.

There she shares her own warped and wacky approach to world events while sipping back on a tequila or two while munching a couple of tacos fresh from her local neighbourhood dealer Jesus (no, the other one).

But her bi-sensual problems extend beyond that. The woman lives in eastern Idaho on the edge of the Teton mountain range - never a more serene and tranquil setting - and yet the only coniferous related activity she undertakes is "pining" for this guy and his band mates...

...Berlin rock band Rammstein. What she sees in these guys, I'll never know. Well apart from the really hot man-parts of their lead singer. (Kinda like the male heavy metal version of Lady Gaga.)

Of course the only Rammsteins I'm interested in are on this Bavarian beer wench - wink, wink, nudge, nudge. (Will you look at those steins!)

But in summing up, Chelle, I really do love you for your mind, whatever condition it's in. And even though you monkey around with the look and style of HBDC more than a three year-old with ADD on Ritalin it's the greatest spot on the Internet. Thanks for letting us all play there. And be well!


Nicely played, sir, but you went easy on her, I think. You needed to be a little more offensive. ;)

Nice steins, though. :)
subtorp77 said…
She looks familiar( having flash-backs to fest '81 )...
Me-Me King said…
Great job there, dufus. Love the photos!
Quirkyloon said…
Ha! Nicely done Noname! I forgot about her unique music tastes. Too busy thinking about her tacos! hee hee

And in her honor?


nonamedufus said…
UR: Not offensive enough? We'll let her be the judge. She's the expert!

subby: To my mind she looks like Chelle. Well I wouldn't know about the steins.

Me-Me: It was a fun post to write.

Quirks: Yep, she's got some unique musical tastes - hooyah!
ReformingGeek said…
Nice job! I'll pass on the steins but those hot man parts? Mighty fine.
nonamedufus said…
RG: hahaha - well I guess there's a little something for everybody there!

I'm adding that shot of Till and his flaming "mein teil" to my wall of worship, thanks!

UR was right, I was only slightly offended. Her steins are totally fake. :p
nonamedufus said…
Chelle: OMG the 3 year old with ADD on Ritalin herself!!! If I'd known you were comin' I'd have baked a taco. ;)
Don said…
I share your sentiments completely. Although I would like to add that she eats meat and slaughters innocent little animals in her quest for more and more meat. Just beware her mighty crossbow and aim. It's a killer!
nonamedufus said…
Don: Thanks for the heads up. Now you're scaring me!
nipsy said…
Love it!! Would it be too weird to admit I'm jealous of those "steins"?
nonamedufus said…
nips: They certainly are big jugs...of beer.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.


Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais


The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.

"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise