Skip to main content

The Offended Roastee

It's Roast Week over at the web mother house of humour Humor Bloggers Dot Com. That's not a typo. I'm Canadian, they're not. I say humour, they say humor. I say poh-tay-toe, they say I talk funny. Vive la difference. Any hoo, the objects of our objection are HBDC`s onerous owner, originator and overlord Chelle B and her ass-kissing able administrative assistant Da Old Man. Hey, remember this is a roast! ;)

By way of background, our two targets are both going though some challenging medical dilemmas. Chelle's of two minds, you might say, and Da Old Man's been spiralling in an endless vortex of medical maelstroms, hospitalized since early summer.

I've decided to roast each of my blogging buds separately. Today, Chelle is the object of my afflictions and tomorrow DOM. Or to put it more succinctly: today the schizoid, tomorrow the whorled.

Chelle splits her mind and her time between two blogs. Not only does she run the web's wackiest home for humour hipsters but she also likes to alienate them and anyone else who might drop by her other blog The Offended Blogger.

There she shares her own warped and wacky approach to world events while sipping back on a tequila or two while munching a couple of tacos fresh from her local neighbourhood dealer Jesus (no, the other one).

But her bi-sensual problems extend beyond that. The woman lives in eastern Idaho on the edge of the Teton mountain range - never a more serene and tranquil setting - and yet the only coniferous related activity she undertakes is "pining" for this guy and his band mates...

...Berlin rock band Rammstein. What she sees in these guys, I'll never know. Well apart from the really hot man-parts of their lead singer. (Kinda like the male heavy metal version of Lady Gaga.)

Of course the only Rammsteins I'm interested in are on this Bavarian beer wench - wink, wink, nudge, nudge. (Will you look at those steins!)

But in summing up, Chelle, I really do love you for your mind, whatever condition it's in. And even though you monkey around with the look and style of HBDC more than a three year-old with ADD on Ritalin it's the greatest spot on the Internet. Thanks for letting us all play there. And be well!


Anonymous said…
Nicely played, sir, but you went easy on her, I think. You needed to be a little more offensive. ;)

Nice steins, though. :)
Anonymous said…
She looks familiar( having flash-backs to fest '81 )...
Me-Me King said…
Great job there, dufus. Love the photos!
Anonymous said…
Ha! Nicely done Noname! I forgot about her unique music tastes. Too busy thinking about her tacos! hee hee

And in her honor?


nonamedufus said…
UR: Not offensive enough? We'll let her be the judge. She's the expert!

subby: To my mind she looks like Chelle. Well I wouldn't know about the steins.

Me-Me: It was a fun post to write.

Quirks: Yep, she's got some unique musical tastes - hooyah!
ReformingGeek said…
Nice job! I'll pass on the steins but those hot man parts? Mighty fine.
nonamedufus said…
RG: hahaha - well I guess there's a little something for everybody there!

I'm adding that shot of Till and his flaming "mein teil" to my wall of worship, thanks!

UR was right, I was only slightly offended. Her steins are totally fake. :p
nonamedufus said…
Chelle: OMG the 3 year old with ADD on Ritalin herself!!! If I'd known you were comin' I'd have baked a taco. ;)
Don said…
I share your sentiments completely. Although I would like to add that she eats meat and slaughters innocent little animals in her quest for more and more meat. Just beware her mighty crossbow and aim. It's a killer!
nonamedufus said…
Don: Thanks for the heads up. Now you're scaring me!
nipsy said…
Love it!! Would it be too weird to admit I'm jealous of those "steins"?
nonamedufus said…
nips: They certainly are big jugs...of beer.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - October

Well, folks, I read seven (count 'em) seven books in October. One I didn't finish but even at that I hit the magic number 50 I estimated for myself by the end of the year. The six books I successfully waded through were, firstly, What Happened, Hillary Clinton's book on her bid for the Presidency. I''m a bit of a political junkie so I get off on this stuff but still it kinda struck me as one long whine over losing.
Next up was the excellent Canyon of Dreams: The Magic and Music of Laurel Canyon. Laurel Canyon was the fabled area outside of Los Angeles where many musicians and artists lived. Known as a 60s enclave, the book takes a look at just who lived there over the last 80 years. A fascinating read.
Next up was Lightfoot, a biography of Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot. He may have been responsible for some iconic folk songs but he was also quite the womanizer and boozer. Enough said.
Then I read Dan Brown's new tome Origin, the fifth in the Robert Lan…

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on,

Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever.

I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read.

So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still have Decem…