Hallow's eve is almost upon us. Have you got your costume yet? You don't know who to go as? Well, this is your lucky day. nonamedufus is happy to share with you some ideas for the costume-challenged among you.
Is there a doctor in the House?
Cut your hair with a straight-edged razor, grow a three-day beard, swipe Uncle Gimpy's cane and don a T-shirt that's been sitting in the laundry for several weeks and you too could trick or treat as Dr. House. Who knows, maybe you too could attract a Dr. Cuddy, voted as having the best breasts in television.
Women are from Venus, Betty's from Mars Bars
She's on Saturday Night Live, in every second television commercial, situation comedy and feature film this fall. She's everywhere. And now she could be trick or treating down your block. A white fright wig and an able walker are all you need to be the hit of Halloween this year. The popularity of this character's iffy as she may drop dead at any moment.
Pop's Canuck mop-top
Entirely up to you. If you're looking forward to having eggs pelted at you, go for it.
"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere."
If you like to mumble, smoke ashes, and pretend you still know how to strum a guitar this costume's for you. An unbuttoned shirt, scarves and a head bandana are all that's required. Carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels while chain-smoking, stumbling down the street and flipping the bird are sure to enhance the impact of this character.
Asshole of evil.
Cut your hair with a straight-edged razor, grow a three-day beard...wait, didn't we do this one already? Shouting out such phrases as "Death to American infidels" and "I've got a nuclear reactor, nanny, nanny, boo-boo" is sure to separate you from the mere ghosts and goblins on your street. Caution: this costume only performs tricks and receives no treats.
This pumpkin-related post first appeared at The Parody Files.