We are committed to improving the quality of life in the City of Cleveland
by strengthening our neighborhoods, delivering superior services,
embracing the diversity of our citizens,
and making Cleveland a desirable, safe city in which to live, work, raise a family,
shop, study, play and grow old.
Not the most thrilling look at the future. It's kind of like they knew there was a thing or two wrong with the old home town.
But the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is there. Drew Carey is from Cleveland. Lebron James and Shaq play for their basketball team. And, my favourite Christmas movie, A Christmas Story, was filmed there.
But apparently none of that's good enough for Forbes.com. They've conducted a poll that rates Cleveland the most miserable city in the United States.
What were the key things that propelled Cleveland to the top, er, ah, of the bottom? High unemployment, dismal weather, hefty taxes, corruption and mediocre sports teams. Mediocre sports teams? Ah, thank goodness they don't count mediocre sports players. Not you Lebron, your aging new partner.
The city's nickname didn't help either:
The mistake by the lake.
The city's reigning (get it?), over-taxing, corrupt politicians where mediocre sports teams play may want to think about changing that mission statement.
How about something like, oh, I don't know...