Get this guy. You may have seen this story at New Year's. A 35 year-old Italian decides he'd rather go to jail than spend New Year's with his wife and relatives.
He tells police to throw him in jail and they say they can't because he hasn't committed a crime. So he threatens a convenience store owner with a box cutter, steals some candy and gum and waits for the police to arrive.
Now this is too much. Why in the world would he do this? Are his relatives members of the Cosa Nostra?
Is his father-in-law the local Don...and I don't mean Don Juan...?
Or maybe it's just a big family and he didn't look forward to hanging out with them. Hell we had close to 25 people over for Christmas and you didn't see me pulling something silly like that.
Why in the world would the guy rather spend the night in jail than with his relatives? Hmm....
Well I did a little research. And although it was time-consuming I felt I owed it to my readers.
So here we go...
Here's the guy's charming wife, Isabella "Gummy" Bella:
His dear mother-in-law Carla "Beak" Bella, who you can tell is on her way over for a visit when her nose turns the corner:
The father-in-law, Lucio "Legs" Bella. He's the one that wears the pants in the family...some days:
And here's his brothers-in-law, the Bella Brothers, the only team entered into that rare Sicilian athletic event, the 6x6 bread stick relay. The only place they're being chased is out of town.
Hmmm.... I think I'm starting to see just how smart this guy is.
He tells police to throw him in jail and they say they can't because he hasn't committed a crime. So he threatens a convenience store owner with a box cutter, steals some candy and gum and waits for the police to arrive.
Now this is too much. Why in the world would he do this? Are his relatives members of the Cosa Nostra?
Is his father-in-law the local Don...and I don't mean Don Juan...?
Or maybe it's just a big family and he didn't look forward to hanging out with them. Hell we had close to 25 people over for Christmas and you didn't see me pulling something silly like that.
Why in the world would the guy rather spend the night in jail than with his relatives? Hmm....
Well I did a little research. And although it was time-consuming I felt I owed it to my readers.
So here we go...
Here's the guy's charming wife, Isabella "Gummy" Bella:
His dear mother-in-law Carla "Beak" Bella, who you can tell is on her way over for a visit when her nose turns the corner:
The father-in-law, Lucio "Legs" Bella. He's the one that wears the pants in the family...some days:
And here's his brothers-in-law, the Bella Brothers, the only team entered into that rare Sicilian athletic event, the 6x6 bread stick relay. The only place they're being chased is out of town.
Hmmm.... I think I'm starting to see just how smart this guy is.
Comments
Don't ask me how I know that.
The family conveniently "forgets" to tell me when and where the gatherings are.
Could it be my singing?
Naaaaah!
Go directly to jail, do not pass "Go" and do not collect $200.