Skip to main content

"Knocked Out"

She’s been called wacky and erratic, but each week millions upon millions tuned in to see what blithering vapidness she’d come up with. And she made millions upon millions of dollars as the middle judge, bookended between Simon “Reminds Me Of A Cabaret Singer” Cowell and Randy “Dog” Jackson on American Idol. Bookended until last season when the program’s producers added Kara DioGuardi to the mix. I guess that was the beginning of the end for Miss Shut Up And Dance because last week she told her fans in a Tweet on Twitter that she was leaving the show.


You know I don’t think it had anything to do with the fact that her contract talks were going nowhere. I think there were other, more substantive reasons, any one of which could have put her over the edge… Here are several reasons why Paula may have departed Idol:

Cowell wouldn’t stop playing footsie with her under the judge's table.

If Randy told her one more “touring with Journey” story she was gonna puke.

All this time she thought A. I. stood for artifical intelligence.

She was heartbroken to learn Seacrest was gay when, in Season 2, she’d told him she’d be “Forever Your Girl”
She's done paying alimony to Emilio Estevez.

Janet Jackson called. She wants her to play the lead in “Wacko Jacko: Fun Times at Neverland”

Abdul started out as a cheerleader for the Los Angeles Lakers. Members of The Jacksons saw her perform at a game and asked her to do their choreography. She worked closely with Janet Jackson before striking out on a somewhat successful singing and dancing career of her own and seven years ago landed in the judges chair on American Idol.

Paula, we’re sorry to see you go. All we can say is: "It wasn’t your best performance", Paula, but "America loves you"!

Comments

Donnie said…
Damn! The very reason I liked to watch that show, albeit some of the talent was good, was because of Abdul's dimwitted doings on air. She was at her best when she was, well...her.
Anonymous said…
Hee hee.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's all a conspiracy to boost AI ratings.

Let's wait and see if Powla doesn't mysteriously reconcile with the AI Powers that be at the 11th hour.

Ha!
Anonymous said…
Straight up!
.
Sorry.
Anonymous said…
One might say American Idol is taking one step forward and two steps back.

I, on the other hand, believe the show will be worse without her ramblings.
nonamedufus said…
Don: Oh yeah, between her and Cowell's put-downs - that's what drew people in week after week.

Quirk: You know you may have something there. It wouldn't surprise me.

lotgk:(sigh) you're forgiven.

ftu: I actually stopped watching a couple of years ago. I grew tired of the judges having basically the same comments time after time, dawg.
Anonymous said…
I only watch the episodes of the try outs. I love watching people make complete fools out of themselves.
John J Savo said…
It's not just Paula. The whole show has become vapid and obnoxious.
nonamedufus said…
TFU: Yeah it really is 2 different shows isn't it. The tryouts and the performances.

John: ...and I hear they just signed Cowell to another 3 years of vapidness and obnoxiousness!
Anonymous said…
And his nipples for an additional four after that.
nonamedufus said…
lotgk: ...would have been pointless otherwise.

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday Funnies

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy!  You know what happens on Imagination D

SuperBowl Ads

Well, the game didn't go my way, but some of the American Super Bowl Ads (found at: http://www.myspace.com/superbowlads ) turned my crank... Diet Pepsi Max Super Bowl Ad: Wake Up People Ginseng & Caffeine Bud Light Wine & Cheese Party Super Bowl Commercial Bridgestone Tire Super Bowl Commercial: Squirrel vs Car Garmin Nuvi Super Bowl Commercial: Napolean Finds His Way w/ GPS Bud Light Super Bowl Ad: Immigrants with Carlos Mencia Planters Nuts Super Bowl Commercial: Woman Attracts Men w/ Nuts Pepsi Stuff Super Bowl Commercial: Justin Timberlake Bud Light Super Bowl Commercial: Cave Man Invents Wheel Coca Cola Super BOwl Commercial: Parade Balloon Victoria's Secret Super Bowl Commercial with Adriana Lima Book: Clapton - The Autobiography by Eric Clapton Music: New Seasons by The Sadies