Saturday, 8 February 2014

30M2DW III - Day 8


Damn

A week had passed since I took on the case of the deaths of the Three Amigos and Bird, my snitch. I had to get myself in gear. Tracking down the murderer would take an olympic effort. Citius, altius, fortius I said to my self. We say that a lot in the detective business. Especially every four years around February. Not to be confused with the motto of a certain writing challenge: dimmer, dumber, drunker.

I'd escaped the clutches of the ax-wielding Boom Boom and left her commiserating with some French broad called Maryse (not a bad looker by the way). They were nursing a few at Rover's Rump pub when I excused myself and jumped out the men's room window. Now I was on the road, lukewarm on the trail of the bad guy.

What better place to track down a man called Horse than at a Dude Ranch. There were twelve of us all told - eight men and four women wanna-be cowboys - and morning came early at the dude ranch in the desert. In fact, it came before sun-up as we gathered in the mess hall for breakfast,

One of these twelve was Horse, a drug lord and the murderer of the three Amigos and my snitch, Bird. Well, one of eleven, because the twelfth was me and I know I'm a good guy. I had my work cut out for me, though. I didn't know Horse's real name but I felt confident that at the end of the day I'd be able to say I'd been to the desert on a Horse with no name.

As the group sat down for breakfast introductions were made. As we went round the table there wasn't a Horse among them. I sipped my orange juice nonchalantly and surreptitiously eyed my fellow dudes. Then it hit me. My hand. Flat across my forehead. "Damn" I exclaimed "I coulda had a V-8!"

Now I didn't think any of the women were murdering drug lords so that left me with 7 men to keep an eye on. I'd heard Horse had a horse's head tattoo on his chest - information that had cost me a couple of  Bordens (unfortunately I'd run out of Benjamins) plus the exchange rate - but I'd left my x-ray glasses at home because I didn't want to make a spectacle of myself.

I'd have to think of some other way to see just who might wear a mare in the hair on their chest. Maybe I could scare up a game of Truth or Dare. I didn't know where. I just knew it had to be while I was there, at the Dude ranch. I mean a horse's head tattoo is rare, I dare say.

Damn, it's too bad I'd ruled out the women, I thought to myself.



Be sure to tune in tomorrow for Day 9 of our ongoing tale. In the meantime check out the links at We Work For Cheese and see how those other guys are dealing with today's prompt.


45 comments:

Laughing Mom said...

Better a horses head than a horses ass!

Ziva said...

Your guy really has to stop horsing around and solve this murder. And I think we should all play Truth or Dare.

nonamedufus said...

in the mane, I think you're right.

nonamedufus said...

He's in no hurry. He still has twenty days to do it. Now Truth or Dare might be a new challenge for us.

Shawn Ohara said...

Wait, are the Three Amigo brothers related to Martin,Steve and Chevy?

Cadeaux said...

Should have taken the car with the V-8 instead - you would have gotten there faster. ;)

nonamedufus said...

Stay tuned, Shawn.

nonamedufus said...

I know but I have to drag this out over 28 days.

Nicky said...

"... I'd be able to say I'd been to the desert on a Horse with no name."
Nice one, punny man.

Cadeaux said...

:)

nonamedufus said...

If only you knew the lengths to which I go to work these things in. I really like that one.

NathanaelV said...

He's in it for the long haul! :-)

NathanaelV said...

Another great post Dufus, I look forward to where you're taking us :-)

nonamedufus said...

I see I'm having an effect on some people.

nonamedufus said...

You might be surprised. I hope so anyway.

nonamedufus said...

I never know just how to respond to an emoticon. Oh, I just did!

KZ said...

"Information that had cost me a couple of Bordens". You, sir, make me laugh with seemingly little effort.

nonamedufus said...

Canadian money has that effect on a lot of people.

KZ said...

I think I found it so funny because I was remembering what you had said about Benjamins and Bordens in a previous post.

nonamedufus said...

KZ, thanks! Finally someone who has been paying attention!

Linda R. said...

I can appreciate the effort. You make seem so easy.

ReformingGeek said...

Hee Hee. I think a V8 would be a damn great idea. Be careful of the women. Some of them look like horses.

Paula Larew Wooters said...

Exactly!

nonamedufus said...

Hey, have you been reading ahead?

nonamedufus said...

Yeah, you do too.

Paula Larew Wooters said...

Are you kidding? I'm just commiserating with Maryse because you didn't take me with you. A Dude Ranch is the perfect place to hide from Nicky. No stiletto heels allowed there!


P.S. I don't think Horse is trying to hide from you. He just forgot who he was. Once you get him out on the desert, I bet he'll remember what his name is. It will save you the trouble of coming all the way back for the x-ray glasses.

Paula Larew Wooters said...

What an assinine thing to say.

Paula Larew Wooters said...

All I can say is my little road trip is going nowhere fast! Damn!

nonamedufus said...

No heels but they do have shoes. Horse shoes.

nonamedufus said...

You need to hop a freighter to Finland…or something.

nonamedufus said...

Your unbridled punmanship is to be admired.

Jayne said...

You've got me giggling!

Linda Medrano said...

Dufus, I think you seriously missed your calling. You should have been a copper, or at least a mystery writer. I really can't wait to figure out where this is going. Have you figured out where this is going? I'm seriously stymied and that hardly ever happens!

Linda R. said...

Linda M. asks a good question. Do you know where this is going yet? A lot of times I don't know where my stories are going until I get there.

Katherine Murray said...

Ha ha ha you can rethink it! I say DARE!

nonamedufus said...

My work here is done. We'll for today.

nonamedufus said...

Of course I know where this is going. I had it all written three weeks ago.

nonamedufus said...

I do but when I was writing it I didn't. It just kind of evolved.

nonamedufus said...

Tune in tomorrow. Like women, detectives often change their minds.

nonamedufus said...

No way! I think I first saw it at the drive-in. And there aren't many of those around these days.

nonamedufus said...

I had to go for it.

meleahrebeccah said...

"Not to be confused with the motto of a certain writing challenge: dimmer, dumber, drunker." ---- HA!!


"but I felt confident that at the end of the day I'd be able to say I'd been to the desert on a Horse with no name." ----- I love that you referenced the band, America, by using lyrics from one of their songs!

nonamedufus said...

I like to work in references to the actual challenge from time to time. As for the lyrics, I just had to go there.

meleahrebeccah said...

And I love that you did!

P.J. said...

This story is now starting to feel Godfatherish!

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