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Day 17 of The Writing Thingy

I Faked It

"You Gouda?"

"I've been called worse."

Horse face had seen me in my dark corner of the Twelfth Night Pub and made a bee-line for my table. He didn't make a bzz-bzz noise. In fact he didn't make any noise at all. He just walked straight to my table.

"I hear you've been looking for me" says Horse face.

"You could say that, although unfortunately I don't know your name."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Trigger. Raynes Trigger."

He had to be kidding. A guy with a face like a horse is named Trigger? 

"So Raynes, can I call you Raynes?"

"Hey, don't pull back."

"Okay, great. So Raynes, what can you tell me about the untimely demise of the 3 Amigos?"

"If they're dead then they had it coming."

"What do you mean 'if'?"

"Well I ran into Lucky only yesterday and he said, and this is a direct quote: 'I faked it'."

"He said that?"

"Yep, and Dusty was with him and confirmed it."

"What about Ned?"

"Didn't you hear? Ned's dead."

"Ned's dead? Is that what you said?"

"That's what I said. Ned's dead. A bullet to the head."

"I don't get it."

"Someone knocked off Ned so Dusty and Lucky pretended they'd been topped too."

"But who?"

"Hey, you're the cop" Trigger brayed. "You figure it out."

Looks like I was headed in a different direction. Now I had to find Dusty and Lucky.

That was okay. I was getting pretty tired of this bar where all they spoke was Shakespearean English.

"Ha!" shouted the barkeep. "I faked it!"

Get yourself over to We Work For Cheese and see how the rest of my friends faked it today.


Cheryl said…
Theodor Geisel is spinning in his grave. Nice fake-out with the non-dead Amigos.
nonamedufus said…
Better known as Dr. Seuss. I had to Google it. And he always said: From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Cheryl said…
Yes they are. Even in Canada.
Trigger! Don't pull back.... All so brilliant!
nonamedufus said…
If Gouda were brilliant he might have solved this by now.
Linda R. said…
A double whammy with today's prompt. Well done!
nonamedufus said…
I love it when a prompt comes together.
ReformingGeek said…
Whoa there, Bessie! This horse is riding off into the sunset....or the plot thicketh. Love it!
nonamedufus said…
Just when Gouda thought he had corralled the horse man the plot takes a twist.
Jayne said…
Ah, so now there are only two Amigos. Bummer about Ned, but he was probably just dead weight.
nonamedufus said…
Well, he certainly is now.
nonamedufus said…
Well, you git the "Raynes" joke. Well done. I've already mentioned Scout and Silver in this tale, Tonto's and the Lone Ranger's horses. This time around I went for Roy Rogers' trusty steed Trigger. Did you know that when Trigger died Roy had him stuffed? Talk about faking it.
Ziva said…
Dead? Not dead? I'm so confused!
nonamedufus said…
Ned is dead. A bullet to the head. At the time he was in bed. But like I said, Lucky and Dusty aren't dead. No they're alive instead.
Linda Medrano said…
Ned is dead? A bullet to the head? I think Trigger was named after his trigger finger. I doubt his story would wash if you look at it a little closer.
MalisaHargrove said…
"Hey, don't pull back." My favorite of many favorite lines today. I hope you have as much fun writing this as I have reading it!
Cheryl P. said…
You are hilarious!!! Raynes Trigger tells you that Ned is dead with a bullet to the head. This story just keeps getting better and better.
nonamedufus said…
It took me a minute but I got your wash reference. I can be a little slow sometimes. You know of course Trigger's middle name is Claude?
nonamedufus said…
Yes I do. If it doesn't make me laugh it doesn't get included.
nonamedufus said…
That's nothing. Wait until you see what happens over the next eleven days. Only eleven days? Woo-hoo!!!
It's all faked! I knew it! Los Dos Amigos will live to ride another day.
KZ said…
I enjoyed the wordplay for today. Entertaining as always, sir.
meleahrebeccah said…
Oh snap - so Dusty and Lucky are still really alive?
nonamedufus said…
Oh, yes. This story has more cliff-hangers than True Detective.
meleahrebeccah said…

BTW ­ I freaking LOVE True Detective. Episode 5 freaked me out REALLY badly, though. I was too afraid to move afterward!
nonamedufus said…
I love the show too. I hate being left hanging every week but, hey, it makes me go back every week to see what'll happen next.
meleahrebeccah said…
Well, that’s why I like to let a few episodes build up ­ so I can watch it back-to-back in a row ­ without having to wait!

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