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30M2DW III - Day 7

Hint, Hint

The life of a hard-boiled cop isn't an easy one. At the station house you're only as good as the last case you cracked. In the dirty underworld of criminals, pimps and snitches you're only as good as your last Benjamin. And to the barkeeps of the world you're no good at all because they let you drink free beers and then you keep turning up for more like a bad penny. Not that I know any Pennys that are bad. In fact I know one who's pretty good, if you know what I mean. And in terms of currency I don't see how there can be any bad pennies because Canada got rid of them recently so we'd have to talk in terms of bad nickels, dimes, loonies and toonies. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

And you may think it odd that a Canadian detective carries around a pocket full of Benjamins - American $100 bills. Well, yeah, it is a little odd but "Benjamin" sounds so much better than "Borden", some long-forgotten prime minister. And besides, the new polymer Canadian $100 bills smell like maple syrup. How could I ever attract snitches and maintain my credibility - my currency as a cop as it were - smelling like crepe?

Any way, let's continue with our story. A dick's life can be hard. Um, no pun intended.

Take this case I'm on, please. Ha, every cop likes to impersonate Henny Youngman. But seriously, folks, I had few leads into the deaths of the 3 Amigos and my snitch Bird. And Chief Silver was breathing down my neck.

Which is why I was hanging out in the hinterland - the seedy part of town where all the mother rapers, father stabbers, father rapers, mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys hung out. No litterers, though. Gee, I'm hungry all of a sudden. I want to go somewhere I can get anything I want.

And where better to pick up hints about a crime than in the hinterland, huh, huh, huh?

And it paid off. Paid off big time.

According to my source a man called 'Horse', so named because of his drug connections not his movie character, was looking to horn into the drug trade the Amigos were running and what better way to do that than to off your competition. Oddly enough the Amigos had done the very same thing - horned in on someone else's turf.

My snitch wanted compensation for his information and leaned close into my ear and whispered "hint, hint".

I quickly brushed my suit coat thinking he said "lint, lint" as I'd gone out without my hearing aids again.

I needed to find out who this Horse fella was and I figured I'd have to go under cover to do it. But that was okay. I'd been under cover with Jhurigo and that worked out just great.

Ah, that concludes the first week of our adventures of Inspector Jack, a pretty gouda cop. Tune in tomorrow for our next instalment. Until then check out the links at We Work For Cheese and see what the rest of those blogger folk are doing with today's prompt.


Cadeaux said…
Have you been listening to "Alice's Restaurant" too many times recently? Hint hint. ;)
ReformingGeek said…
I love to come here, so many smiles. No, I didn't say miles but it would be a lot of miles,er, kilometers to get up there from Texas. I hope the lint is easier to remove than cat hair.
Laughing Mom said…
What your detective needs are some 8x10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one.
nonamedufus said…
That line has got to be my favourite from that song.
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, kilometres to go before I sleep just doesn't sam to have the same impact. Glad you're smiling, Reffie.
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, heh, heh, absolutely. Another Alice's Restaurant fan I see.
Cadeaux said…
It is a great story. :) Yours, too. ;)
nonamedufus said…
Thanks, Cheryl. I'm having a lot of fun with it.
Cadeaux said…
yours, too. :)
I'm guessing you're about a half mile from the railroad track. So long as you stay away from the Group W bench while you're in the hinterland, it's all good.
It's one of my favorites, too.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, man, was this another time entirely or what?
nonamedufus said…
Too late…
Linda R. said…
Another great chapter in the continuing escapades of Inspector Jack! Did you know that there is an Alice's Restaurant Cookbook?
nonamedufus said…
I thought Alice was a vegetarian hippie. Look at all that meat and poultry. Another myth destroyed.
Maybe it was the lint all over everything in my house!!!
nonamedufus said…
Maybe. Hint, hint.
Ziva said…
Your dick's life is hard, indeed, but it sure is entertaining for us, dear Dufus.
nonamedufus said…
I know, I just have an entertaining dick. Nice of you to notice.
Linda Medrano said…
I really like you as a hard boiled dick, Dufus. Not everyone can pull that off either.
Those were happy, carefree days! Great memories!
We had our own special Group W bench. It was called "court class". Not as many father rapers, but it was still a good time.
KZ said…
Sheepishly, I must admit that line about "Take this case I'm on, please" had me laughing a lot harder than it should have. I'm also delighted that you wove in a reference to "Alice's Restaurant". Man, you just aim to please, don't you, Dufus?
nonamedufus said…
It's how I'm wired. These things often just come to me as my fingers type. For instance I typed "Take this case…" and couldn't let it go without "please" and then I went the whole 9 yards with "But seriously folks…" Sometimes I crack myself up. And if I can do that maybe I can make others laugh too.
meleahrebeccah said…
"And in terms of currency I don't see how there can be any bad pennies because Canada got rid of them recently…."

GET OUT! I wish we could get rid of pennies over here. They drive me insane.

"I quickly brushed my suit coat thinking he said "lint, lint" as I'd gone out without my hearing aids again." --- that made me laugh.
nonamedufus said…
Yeah but we walk around with Loonies and Toonies in our pockets which are much heavier than pennies. As for the hearing aid quip I've only just started wearing hearing aids…if I can remember to put them in.
meleahrebeccah said…
Oh, well that's a shame.
P.J. said…
What was that you said, Dufus? Couldn't hear you. Very punny stuff here.

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