Thursday, 20 February 2014

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda III - Day 20


Chaos

He was right. They did taste like chicken. They were so good I ordered another plate of frogs legs with nary a thought of how the poor frogs got around without any legs.

"Good, eh?" said Joe.

"Hrmph, mumph, dumph" I replied and then thought maybe I should wait to respond when my mouth wasn't full.

And I had a lot of questions for Joe and I hoped he wouldn't blow me off. Ha, ha, I thought. I made a funny. Joe Blow. Blow me off. Sometimes I killed myself.

"Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark…Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark."

What the hell? Is that coming from the kitchen? I didn't see dog on the menu. Just as I was about to ask Joe he said "Relax, Inspector, it's just my phone. I got this crazy bark app for my ring tone from someone called Lauren. You should have seen the look on your face. Don't worry, Jack, my phone's bark is worse than it's bite…ha, ha, ha."

He turned his head away from me to take the call. I washed the last of the frogs legs down with some saki and settled in for the conversation that was to come.

"That was my CHAOS associate" said Joe "and he had some interesting news to tell me about you, Jack."

"CHAOS? What's that?"

"Oh me and the boys have formed our own little underworld organization. Crazy Honkies And Other Slimeballs. You know, like Mr. Ford over there. We usually just use the acronym…for obvious reasons."

This was one crazy dude, I thought. Not unlike the Russian and American judges in Olympic ice dancing. I'd better be careful.

"Listen I appreciate the gratis frogs legs but let's get down to brass tacks. I'm investigating two murders and from what I've been told you had a role to play in both."

"That's what my associate just told me. The Amigos? I wouldn't waste the effort. They're pip-squeaks and no way would qualify as a crazy honkey or other slimeball."

"But I thought they were horning in on your drug business?"

"Yeah, so? They hardly made a dent. If you're looking for someone who wanted to knock them off try someone who swam with them at the bottom of their barrel."

Geez, some crooks talked funny I thought, using odd metaphors and such.

"Do you have anyone in particular in mind" I asked.

"I do."

Find out who Joe has in mind tomorrow. Same place. Same blog. Until then, mosey on over to We Work For Cheese and see who I have in mind in terms of dealing with today's prompt. 





30 comments:

Cheryl said...

I came, I read, I realized you remind me of my youngest brother. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

nonamedufus said...

I'm hoping that's a good thing.

nonamedufus said...

I like him already.

ReformingGeek said...

What? Are you sore that the Canada pair didn't win the ice dancing? Ah.....well, I know that just blows for you.

Sigh.

nonamedufus said...

We was robbed. Those judges are skating on thin ice.

Linda R. said...

So the crooks talk funny, eh?

Paula Larew Wooters said...

Day 20? We're all scraping the bottom of the barrel here. Which means just about any of us could knock off Los Amigos.

nonamedufus said...

Yeah, what youse gonna do abouddit?

nonamedufus said...

Any of us that are left. Our ranks are starting to dwindle here. Hey, maybe my killer did away with some of the bloggers.

frankleemeidere said...

Now that you mention it, why do you never hear of people eating any other part of the frog?

Paula Larew Wooters said...

I know. I was feeling a bit guilty that I've been late in posting, but it looks like a lot of people are even later. (Guess I'd better go write something for today. Due at "Music on the Beach" at 7. Too bad you're not here to join us!)

nonamedufus said...

Music on the Beach? Do they hand out kazoos and combs with plastic paper?

nonamedufus said...

I don't think they can get past the legs, Frank. This has always been one of my favourite cartoons which I think first appeared many years ago in National Lampoon magazine.

MsDarkstar said...

Chaos is not conducive to the creative process... Wondering where this story will take us next!

nonamedufus said...

Chaos actually allowed me to bring some order to my little tale.

Katherine Murray said...

HA HA HA I KNOW THAT BARK RING TONE!

Paula Larew Wooters said...

They should have... it might have been better than the band they had. It was worth it, though, to be barefoot on the beach after dark on a February night. (Temperature was still about 75 degrees!) Stopped off for a few beers at the Tarpon Tavern afterward. Good times!

Paula Larew Wooters said...

Which, of course, means I didn't get my blog post done today. Oh well... tomorrow's another day. Vacation's tough.

Cadeaux said...

I should get a bark ring tone. That would be funny as hell. :)

nonamedufus said...

Oh stop it already. I read that quickly and thought you said Tampon Tavern.

nonamedufus said...

Hey, we do what we have to do. Enjoy!

nonamedufus said...

I don't think it would work very well at the dog park.

nonamedufus said...

You'd get some pretty interesting looks on the bus, in a restaurant, at the movies and in the grocery store for sure.

Cheryl P. said...

Hearing a dog bark in a restaurant would make me a bit nervous as well. I would think that there would be a lot of people that could qualify to join CHAOS.

nonamedufus said...

It would me too. But when I think about it now I wonder if I might prefer that to not hearing a dog bark. Know what I mean?

meleahrebeccah said...

Crazy Honkies And Other Slimeballs. - I can't even handle it!

nonamedufus said...

I used this as a throwback to Kaos, Maxwell Smart's Control nemesis. Are you old enough to remember Get Smart, Meleah?

meleahrebeccah said...

Sadly, no.

nonamedufus said...

No? It's a campy send-up of secret agents in the 60s. I've got the boxed set. But I used to watch it when I was a kid. You might want to pull up an episode or two on You Tube for a laugh.

meleahrebeccah said...

Hell yes. Good idea!

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