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30 Days of Writing - #25 - Worst Christmas Ever

Two years ago I wrote about the worst Christmas present ever. Some of you may have seen it then as part of a Tribal Blogs Blog Carnival. If you didn't, or can't recall it, sit back, relax and enjoy this little reprise.

Remember Ralphie in the movie A Christmas Story? His Aunt Clara sent him a bunny costume. Yeah, it sure sucked to be him.

Hey sometimes Christmas doesn't work out for some of us. Look at my grandsons last Christmas. Things went from this... this...

Heh, heh. That's one picture my daughter doesn't want to share too widely. So keep quiet about it, okay?

When I was a kid, Christmas was such a special time. The snow outside, the tree, the lights, the food, visiting relatives and neighbours. And of course the presents.

My own kids loved Christmas too and would pore through the Sears Wish Book Catalogue as soon as it arrived in the mail, dog-earing pages upon pages of pictures of gifts they wanted for Christmas.

And they were pretty lucky. They usually got most of what they asked for. Today the grandkids are luckier than ever, although the twins last year had more fun with the boxes their presents came in than with the presents themselves.

Myself? Not so lucky. You know there should be a ban on certain items that parents get their kids for Christmas. Yeah, you know. The stores should stop selling certain things during the month of December.

When I was a kid I'd ask for a tricycle, or a wagon, or a Meccano set, or some such thing I'd have my heart set on.

I'd be up ahead of everyone else Christmas morning to see what Santa had left under the tree. I'd check out the name tags to see what presents were for me and I'd even shake a package or two to see if I could guess what was inside.

Slowly but surely the rest of the family would start to stir, and gather around the tree. I'd be so anxious I'd almost wet myself. C'mon guys, let's get going.

And then I'd be given the honour of opening the first gift. I'd tear the pretty bows and ribbon to shreds and rip off the wrapping paper to expose a medium sized box.

What the heck could it be? I hesitated. Was it the toy truck I'd asked for? Maybe it was a Davey Crocket hat - cool. I slowly lifted the lid of the box and peeked inside to see...sox and underwear!

"Um, ah, gee, guys, er, thanks a lot. It's, ah, just what I wanted."

And I must have sounded pretty sincere, because I got that same gift almost every year until I left home at the age of 20.

But I never ran out of sox...or underwear.

Just what he wanted?

Some of you may wonder why I haven't been around to your blogs lately or replied to comments on my posts last week. Well, I took the week off and went fishing. Yep, a week with no internet. No blog, No Facebook. No e-mail. It's taking me a day or two to recover you understand. But I've replied to all your comments and soon I'll be stopping by your blog. And tomorrow I'll tell you all about my little fishing trip. Remember the movie Deliverance? Yeah, it was nothing like that.

Meantime hit up Nicky's link thingy over at We Work For Cheese and see what everyone else's worst Christmas was like.


Nicky said…
I used to tell my kids that if they weren't good, Santa would bring them socks and underwear for Christmas. As a joke, my mom stuffed MY stocking with socks and underwear. The kids thought it was hysterical that I was on Santa's naughty list.
Laughing Mom said…
My mother still wraps socks and underwear up for my brother and he's 54.
nonamedufus said…
You're poor brother!
nonamedufus said…
Well, now I know what to get you for Christmas!
Linda R. said…
Hey, I've given socks and underwear to my hubby for Christmas, birthday, etc. However, it was just the two of us so there were no witnesses. Also, those weren't the main gift either. ;)
nonamedufus said…
Not the main gift, eh? *wink, wink* Say no more.
Tami Von Zalez said…
Great minds - go fishing! hahaha That's what I've been doing too ... with my occasional escapes to Starbucks so I can do my daily posts. Here's hoping the bite is on!~
Linda R. said…
Oh, back then I bought him a lot of clothes for Christmas since he didn't care for shopping.
Linda Medrano said…
I can't even imagine Christmas in the snow. Actually, I can hardly imagine snow at all. Socks and underwear are still wrapped up as gifts, Dufus. And I still think it's a funny gift!
nonamedufus said…
It was for the point I was able to bring my limit home after eating everything else we caught. I hope they're biting for you.
nonamedufus said…
Snow's an essential part of a Canadian Christmas. Although at my age the charm has warn a little thin so I've been spending Christmas in Panama the last few years. There a sandy beach holds a whole new charm for me.
nonamedufus said…
I guess that would work for a guy who hates shopping. I hate shopping too.
Quirky Loon said…
Whew! I'm so glad your fishing trip was NOTHING like Deliverance. heh heh

Squeal like a pig!

Now that would be the worst Christmas EVER!

heh heh
If I were God... said…
Off the grid for a week? Christmas came early.
Lauren said…
I loved your Christmas story. It's so true about the dreaded department store box when you're a kid. As soon as you see the tissue paper, you know you were screwed.
nonamedufus said…
Well, we actually ran across a few hillbilly characters who looked like they were in that movie like the guy that sold me my fishing license. But he turned out all right. He didn't play the banjo.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, you bet. It was amazing not going on a computer for 7 days!
nonamedufus said…
Oh I got toys and stuff too. But it's amazing how so many adult family members thought clothes would be an ideal gift.
nonamedufus said…
Good to be back and catch up with my webby pals.
babs (beetle) said…
Socks, or a tie was what we always bought our dad. He always seemed to appreciate them, or was he just pretending? In later years we bought him paints and brushes. He was an artist and painted every day, so would always need those. Men were hard to buy for.
PJHar said…
Welcome back, Dufus! Socks and undies are the norm for us, too! But we always expect to get them and it's part of the Christmas experience!
nonamedufus said…
My kids used to give me ties. The more outlandish the better. I loved them.
nonamedufus said…
It wouldn't be Christmas without a 3 pack of briefs!
babs (beetle) said…
I must admit, we did go for the modern, colourful ties of the sixties, and he did wear them :)
Oh my GOSH! I LOVE THAT PICTURE. First and last, with last being AWESOME!
nonamedufus said…
They're older now of course. Miko just turned 6 last week and the twins Emery and Noah will be 3 in July. That second picture is just hilarious.

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