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Hypnagogia Horrors

I don't know if you've ever experienced this. I have. And it's scarier than any nightmare I've ever had. Although I should qualify that by saying I rarely remember what I dream about.

But I'm not talking about dreams here. I'm talking about what occurs sometimes before I dream. You know, in that period of time between being awake and drifting off to la-la land.

I had to look it up on Wikipedia and the term for that transitional period is hypnagogia.

Some nights I think I'm channeling Stephen King, Dean Koontz and H.P. Lovecraft all rolled into one. As I start to drift off my mind races, going off in several different directions, kind of like twilight ADD, trying to process the scariest of thoughts. I certainly wouldn't come up with them during the day time, nor likely dream about them in my deepest slumbers.

But they come to me in that transitional time between wakefulness and sleep. Involuntarily.

Like, oh, I don't know, sticking a pencil in my eyeball. Gory car, plane, train crashes involving loved ones. Leaping to my death off a bridge or tall building. A visit to an alien spaceship - probing optional. Murder and mayhem. Spontaneous combustion. The earth exploding and other similar apocalyptic cataclysms haunt me. And of course, the more bizarre and horrifying they are the more I have and the harder it is to sleep. Some nights this "transitional" period will go on for hours.

But what causes them? Restless Leg Syndrome? Inane Facebook comments? Indigestion? A late evening piece of chocolate cake? Too much caffeine? The late night news?

Well, let's see what I'm influenced by during my waking hours.

Ah, a huge earthquake and many after shocks rocked Japan and blew up a nuclear plant.

Um, Lindsay Lohan could be going to jail.

Uh, Mike Huckabee crapped all over Natalie Portman and her unmarried approach to parenthood.

Oh, the Warlocks and tigers and Adonises, oh my, are pissed at Charlie Sheen. Nevertheless the guy's mounted something called "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option Tour" and it sold out in 18 minutes!

Mel Gibson pled no contest to beating the crap out of his ex-wife and skipped jail time.

Well, well. Monica Lewinsky still loves Bill.

That guy's still hangin' on to power in Libya and nobody seems to know yet how to properly spell his name.

And the National Hockey League seems to have become the medical clearing house for the largest supply of organ donations from former players for brain research.


I thought the stuff I dreamed up was bad.

It's no wonder I can't sleep at night.


Boom Boom Larew said…
I fling myself into bed as fast as I can at the end of the day to escape the real world.
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: Lucky you! But you're really missing out on a little hypnagogia. I've gotta start writing some of this stuff down.
laughingmom said…
I don't remember dreams or anything my mind does at night - good thing because as crazy as I am - my dreams would probably scare the crap out of me - even the ones that aren't nightmares!
nonamedufus said…
laughingmom: Just last night I was thinking the mind is a terrible thing to... what were we talking about again?
Quirkyloon said…
A couple of thoughts: that alien really could stand a couple of shots of botox.

I really thought when reading your title that hypnagogia would have something to do with the wierdness that is known as Lady Gaga. I don't know why. I just did.

And...I LOVE dwelling on apocalyptic cataclysms. And that's why I enjoy SyFy so much.

I'm ok. You're ok.

I think.

nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Lady Gagagogia = the period between silence and real music.
00dozo said…
"Some nights I think I'm channeling Stephen King, Dean Koontz and H.P. Lovecraft all rolled into one. "

Okay - you're scarin' me, dufus. Try to think of puppie dogs, or flowers or anything else, just stay away from Sheen!
Donnie said…
My local university's basketball team failed to make the NCAA playoffs. That's a bitch! Maybe I'll have a hypnogoiac (sp?) dream about that. Like bus fulls of basketball teams running off of toll bridges or something.
nonamedufus said…
oodozo: That's it! Tiger Breath's to blame for my scary thoughts. ...duh, WINNING.
nonamedufus said…
Donnie: Now you're getting the idea. But it wouldn't be complete unless Dick Vitale was on that bus too! "They're warming up the bus now".
Jen said…
Monica is on the radar again? Who'd she blow this time? How did I miss that?
nonamedufus said…
Jen: She still has a thing for Clinton's thing it would seem.
meleah rebeccah said…
I dont ever remember any of my dreams, but sometimes I jolt out of bed because I feel like I'm falling. Is that also considered hypnagogia?
nonamedufus said…
meleah rebeccah: I've done that too! Wake up as you feel like your slamming down on the mattress. Weird, huh? I looked it up and it's apparently known as a hypnagogic myoclonic twitch or “Hypnic jerk”. Amazingly enough, close to 70 percent of all people experience this phenomenon just after nodding off. Wow.
Ferd said…
A hypnagogic jerk awakens me once in a while!
00dozo said…
And here I thought I was the only one. My hypnic jerk is usually an extremely loud bang, almost like a gunshot or a clap of the hands directly by my ear.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Boy our minds play nasty tricks on us. And all this without drugs!
DameMeow said…
I found reading Stephen King's Duma Key put me right to sleep in half a chapter a night. I also think inane cartoons are great to dull your brain for bedtime
nonamedufus said…
DameMeow: I liked Duma Key, but yeah it wasn't all that scary. I recently read his Under The Dome. That one kept me awake!
Nicky said…
See, now Under The Dome didn't scare me, but Duma Key did. And a jerk does occasionally wake me up, but I usually smack him and then he leaves me be.
nonamedufus said…
Nicky: A smack will usually do it.

Duma Key did have its moments. But I enjoyed Under the Dome more. It was more of page-turner for me.
Brooke Amanda said…
And this is why I rarely watch the news.
Nope, I've never experienced that. Are you sure you're not just mentally unbalanced?
cardiogirl said…
This was my favorite line:

A visit to an alien spaceship - probing optional.

I hang in that state each night as I lie with my kid before she falls asleep. She's a chatterbox so my dreams are directed by her conversation.

It gets weird when I start to talk in my sleep and she thinks I'm answering when I say something like, "In the record by the hanging files."

Then I wake up and tell her it's time to go to sleep.
nonamedufus said…
cardiogirl: You seem to have this thing about hanging, CG. Do you wake up with a sore neck?
Quirkyloon said…
A couple of thoughts: that alien really could stand a couple of shots of botox.

I really thought when reading your title that hypnagogia would have something to do with the wierdness that is known as Lady Gaga. I don't know why. I just did.

And...I LOVE dwelling on apocalyptic cataclysms. And that's why I enjoy SyFy so much.

I'm ok. You're ok.

I think.


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