C'mon, You Can Do Better Than "Wow"

"Wow".

That's what I said when that news story appeared about the prostitute biting Sham Wow spokesman Vince's tongue and him pounding on her face until she let him go. He was lucky it was his tongue, otherwise Vince might've been saying a lot more than "wow"! But I digress...

What the heck makes Sham Wow so damn popular? And the ad, according to the Sham Wow website, is popular, too, ranking as the #1 informercial of all time! Wow! But try to convince Bill O'Reilly of the claims Vince makes...

Let's look at what Sham Wow claims:
It is made in Germany
Easily removes cola, wine and pet stains
Doesn't drip, doesn't make a mess
Washes, dries, and polishes any surface
Won't scratch any surface
Machine washable and bleachable
Lasts ten years

Big deal. What's so catchy about that. There's nothin' there that would convince me to buy a product called a "sham". And no wonder poor old Bill was upset. Thesaurus.com equates sham with: burlesque, cant, caricature, cheat, counterfeit, cover-up, deceit, deception, facade, fake, fakery, false front, farce, feint, flimflam*, forgery, fraud, hypocrisy, hypocriticalness, imitation, impostor, imposture, jive*, mock, mockery, pharisaism, phoniness, pretend, pretense, pretext, pseudo*, put-on, sell, smoke*, snow job*, spoof, travesty, whitewash ... "wow"!

Remember Bounty? It was "the quicker picker upper". Yeah, that sounds neater than the unimaginative "wow".

And what about Mr. Clean (M. Net for my francophone friends). He "cleans your whole house and everything that's in it".

Here's an old fave: Ajax. Ajax was "stronger than dirt".

And the marketers of Pine-Sol at least used a little imagination to demonstrate how their product worked better than others...

Geez, even Vince's nemesis Billy Mays of Oxiclean fame proclaimed "you don't need a cabinet full of cleaners" - sort of. Nevertheless, it beats "wow" hands down.

Now, Vince, you see how imaginative the makers of other products are? But don't beat yourself up over it...or anyone else for that matter!

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! You know what happens on Imagination D

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

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