How I Beat Tom Brady...Twice In One Week

Your humble fantasy football fan - that's me, nonamedufus - is gonna gloat. Not only did he crush Bald Spots this week. He crushed Bald Spots and Tom Brady. Yeah that's right, Gisele Bundchen's boy toy. How did he do this? With his absolutely astute choice in quarterbacks - Aaron Rodgers.

Rodgers racked up 56 points for our nonames (Clever name, eh?) in the Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League against Brady's 19 points for the Bald Spots. In every quarterback ranking I read in preparation for this piece - okay, two - the professional prognosticators give the edge to Brady. Well, nannie, nannie boo-boo. As Connie Francis used to say: "Who's sorry now?"

Loyalties were divided in the dufus household when I told Mrs D I was playing against Brady in both my fantasy leagues, the HBFFL and the FTWL. (I have no idea what that acronym stands for. I think maybe it's Find The Wiener League in homage to Bret Favre.) She loves Tom Brady. She says it's something to do with how well he wears his uniform. Says she loves his tight end...and she's not talking about Rob Gronkowski.

Guys, did you know "Bundchen" was Spanish for tight end?

Any way, over in our sister league I had just replaced Matt Schaub with Joe Flacco at QB on my team godufus (Clever name, eh?). Those two ranking sites I spoke of earlier list the two 11th and 12th QBs in terms of performance, but prior to this weekend Flacco was leading Schaub in fantasy points. After the weekend Flacco's 5 points wasn't as good as Schaub's 10 and not, for that matter, Brady's 19. But I narrowly beat Multiple Scorgasms with a little help from Arizona's Beanie Wells' 36 points. Wells had been a questionable starter too. All right Wells!

And there you have it. So after week four dufus' nonames are 2-2-0 and godufus is 1-2-1. It's a slow start. But slow and steady is more gratifying when it comes to sex...and football. I could go all the way...um, in my fantasy leagues.

This happens to me a lot.

This is nonamedufus telling it like it is.

This post first appeared on Humor Bloggers Fantasy Football League Blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...

nonamedufus

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