Skip to main content

A Harrowing Hallowe'en Homily



This is a story about Marvin.

Marvin's a monster.

Don't misunderstand me. He's not a monster in the berates his kids and beats his wife way.

No. I mean in the not human way. He's a real honest-to-goodness monster. Well I shouldn't say not in the human way because Marvin's miscellaneous modules do come from various human sources. But they were donated after they died because, well, they really had no use for them any more.

Marvin's master, Micky, took great pains to create Marvin in his image. And he more or less succeeded. Micky's gone now, the sad victim of an argument between he and his creation. Well, we know who got in the last word in that one, don't we.

Today, of all days, is Marvin's 30th birthday.

It was touch and go there for a while when Marvin was just a mini monster. Transfusions, electrical charges and a little lightening now and then were all that were needed to ensure Marvin grew up to become a normal boo-boy.

In his early 20s Marvin fell in love with Melinda who he met in master Micky's laboratory. He didn't know how she got there but he didn't care. It was monster love at first sight. And after Micky gave Melinda two good eyes the feeling was mutual.

Day after day their love grew until monster miracle of monster miracles triplets, three little monsters you might say, graced the immortal lives of Marvin and Melinda - Fooey, Boo-ee and Ghoulee.

Fooey, Boo-ee and Ghoulie were good monster misfits growing up. They got along well with their neighbourhood zombie pals and performed well in school even thought their teacher told Marvin and Melinda she didn't think they stood a ghost of a chance. But after the little ghouls...girls ate her brains they experienced no problems with their substitute teacher.

Now today's a big day in the Marvin the Monster household. Not only is it Marvin's birthday but today's the one day of the year Marvin, Melinda and their three little ghouls can go out without worrying what they look like. No wigs, today. No make-up to cover the scars. No foundation to deal with those hallow checks.

No, today, as they go door to door in their neighbourhood, they don't even need to wear costumes. They're scary enough without them. Not surprisingly, each year the family wins the "Best Costume" award from their community association, which is somewhat ironic. Nevertheless the annual event has become a real family affair as they share in their haul of fresh body parts and yummy brains. And don't worry.The people they came from don't need them...any more.

And as they limp haphazardly through the streets and go preying upon their unsuspecting victims, unlike normal folks, they much prefer tricks to treats.

And at the end of the night, when they've locked the leftovers safely away in the freezer Marvin and Melinda turn to sweet wee Fooey, Boo-ee and Ghoulie, pat them gently on their scabby and scarred little heads and smile and say sweetly, "You see, girls, the family that preys together decays together".

Happy Hallowe'en!

Comments

quirkyloon said…
Ha! First of all might I mention that Marvin looks WAY too happy. hee hee

And at first I read that they prefer TICKS to treats. Then my eyes jerked back and read the correct words.

However, ticks are more terrifying than any monster I've ever seen. hee hee

Fun story Dufus!
nonamedufus said…
You'd be happy too if you'd gathered up the haul of arms, legs and brains he came away with...none of which contained scary ticks.
meleahrebeccah said…
Awww. I loved this story about Monster Marvin, Melinda, Fooey, Boo-ee and Ghoulie!
nonamedufus said…
Thanks, Meleah. Thought I should do something for Halloween. This is what I came up with. Wasn't sure where I was going with it but the prey/decay line just sort of popped into my head.
nonamedufus said…
Thanks, Meleah. Tell all your friends!
Nicky said…
Heheheh, nicely done Dufus. Now tell the truth, that picture up there... "Marvin" or "Dufus"? :-)

Happy Halloween, mon ami!
nonamedufus said…
Aw, you found me out. No wonder I didn't get any candy going around the neighbourhood tonight.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - October

Well, folks, I read seven (count 'em) seven books in October. One I didn't finish but even at that I hit the magic number 50 I estimated for myself by the end of the year. The six books I successfully waded through were, firstly, What Happened, Hillary Clinton's book on her bid for the Presidency. I''m a bit of a political junkie so I get off on this stuff but still it kinda struck me as one long whine over losing.
Next up was the excellent Canyon of Dreams: The Magic and Music of Laurel Canyon. Laurel Canyon was the fabled area outside of Los Angeles where many musicians and artists lived. Known as a 60s enclave, the book takes a look at just who lived there over the last 80 years. A fascinating read.
Next up was Lightfoot, a biography of Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot. He may have been responsible for some iconic folk songs but he was also quite the womanizer and boozer. Enough said.
Then I read Dan Brown's new tome Origin, the fifth in the Robert Lan…

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on,

Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever.

I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read.

So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still have Decem…