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How I Beat Tom Brady...Twice In One Week


Your humble fantasy football fan - that's me, nonamedufus - is gonna gloat. Not only did he crush Bald Spots this week. He crushed Bald Spots and Tom Brady. Yeah that's right, Gisele Bundchen's boy toy. How did he do this? With his absolutely astute choice in quarterbacks - Aaron Rodgers.

Rodgers racked up 56 points for our nonames (Clever name, eh?) in the Humor Blogger Fantasy Football League against Brady's 19 points for the Bald Spots. In every quarterback ranking I read in preparation for this piece - okay, two - the professional prognosticators give the edge to Brady. Well, nannie, nannie boo-boo. As Connie Francis used to say: "Who's sorry now?"

Loyalties were divided in the dufus household when I told Mrs D I was playing against Brady in both my fantasy leagues, the HBFFL and the FTWL. (I have no idea what that acronym stands for. I think maybe it's Find The Wiener League in homage to Bret Favre.) She loves Tom Brady. She says it's something to do with how well he wears his uniform. Says she loves his tight end...and she's not talking about Rob Gronkowski.

Guys, did you know "Bundchen" was Spanish for tight end?

Any way, over in our sister league I had just replaced Matt Schaub with Joe Flacco at QB on my team godufus (Clever name, eh?). Those two ranking sites I spoke of earlier list the two 11th and 12th QBs in terms of performance, but prior to this weekend Flacco was leading Schaub in fantasy points. After the weekend Flacco's 5 points wasn't as good as Schaub's 10 and not, for that matter, Brady's 19. But I narrowly beat Multiple Scorgasms with a little help from Arizona's Beanie Wells' 36 points. Wells had been a questionable starter too. All right Wells!

And there you have it. So after week four dufus' nonames are 2-2-0 and godufus is 1-2-1. It's a slow start. But slow and steady is more gratifying when it comes to sex...and football. I could go all the way...um, in my fantasy leagues.

This happens to me a lot.

This is nonamedufus telling it like it is.


This post first appeared on Humor Bloggers Fantasy Football League Blog

Comments

Linda Medrano said…
I don't know these guys. I'm a baseball lover. Football? Eh!
nonamedufus said…
Blasphemer! Baseball puts me to sleep.
Nicky said…
I love football, although I haven't been keeping up with it for the past few years. I used to know who was who, but then I met Jepeto, who like all men in Montreal, lives, eats, breathes and prays to the alter of hockey. Which isn't horrible, but nothing beats the sound two helmets make upon crashing together.
nonamedufus said…
Hockey? Meh. I kinda lost interest after the Sens blew the finals a couple of years back. But I tell ya Fantasy Football really changes the way you watch football. You don't cheer for a favourite team anymore. You cheer for your individual players who play for many different teams across the league. Sometimes they play each other. How do you cheer for that? And you flip around the TV to see if you can find games with your players. And you watch TV while following league developments on your computer and chatting with 9 other guys about who's beating whom. And instead of watching football just Sunday afternoon you need to keep track of Thursday night, Sunday night and Monday night games as well. I seriously have fantasy football fatigue.

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