Skip to main content

All Right Mr. DeMille I'm Ready For My Close Up

Or make-up, or make-over, or whatever. Take a look at this pic. I think she needed them all.


Gloria Swanson really gave it her all to play fading (in fact she had totally faded) film star Nora Desmond in that great cinematic classic Sunset Boulevard. One of the lines I loved was "I am big, It's the pictures that got small." Her character was kinda creepy. And I think she would have benefited from a make-over.

What about this blog? You think it could use a make-over? The folks over at Tribal Blogs are holding a blog make-over contest.



Meh, I thought when I first heard of it. What did Old McDonald say? You know, the guy with a farm?   Oh, yeah: "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. And if he goes wee wee wee all the way home he should have gone before he left."

But as I got to thinking about it I thought to myself "Hey, everybody loves bacon. What have I got to lose?"

I also got a little confused between the terms "make-up" and "make-over". I've never worn make-up but I thought, hey, for $300 worth of goodies I might go so far as to get a brazil wax.

I mean for heaven's sake, take a look around this blog. The layout is...well...blahhhh. Yeah, sure, it's clean and uncluttered - which is good - but, hell, it reeks of antiseptic...or antidepressants, or antioxidants, or antiperspirants - well which is what you need if it reeks, right?

Blogger calls this layout "Awesome Inc". Yeah, sure, like awesome in a parallel universe maybe. A parallel universe of dogs. (Dogs can't see colours, eh?)

This is a humour blog for Pete's sake. And that layout doesn't inspire much mirth. (Mirth means gladness or gaiety usually expressed by laughter. I used it because it's a nice alliteration with "much". And I really didn't want to say "gobs of gaiety".)

You can gaze upon the $300 prize package here.

Among the prizes are custom graphics which include something called a favicon. Gee, I didn't know Milli Vanilli had reunited.

An installation of five key plug-ins is included. That would come in really handy 'cause I'm redoing my kitchen and the more plug-ins the better.

And they're offering something called a premium SEO submission. I don't know what that means but I kinda like Lionel Richie. You know, he sang "Say You, Say Me, SEO" Isn't that how it went?

So wish me luck. This blog may soon be wearing lipstick.



Comments

Boom Boom Larew said…
Dang! How am I supposed to compete for the Tribal Blogs makeover now? I guess I'll just have to settle for stealing the pig pic for my new avatar.
nonamedufus said…
Are you going for a new sty-le too?
john said…
found you by accident ( coffee break trolling)
great blog
quirkyloon said…
HA! I'm proud of you Nomesters! You resisted a dig at Sarah Palin. Yep, you did. Soooooo-weeeee!

HA! And good luck with the makeover. Personally, I really LIKE the clean and uncluttered look. Some blogs are stimulus overload for me and I'm thinking, okay I'm here, so WHERE do I go now? hee hee

But I also understand the need for change. I've been known to do that a time or two, or three. hee hee

Good luck! And I hope you win!

Weeee, weeeeeee, weeeeeeeee! (I'm not home yet.)
nonamedufus said…
Hey, accidents will happen. I hope you found enough of interest that convince you to come back. Where else you gonna see lipstick on a pig?
nonamedufus said…
Yeah that was the last time that expression got traction. But who wants a blog that looks like Sarah Palin? I hope I win, Quirks! This is the real thing . It's no pig in a poke.
Nicky said…
I would wish you luck, but we are entering this contest too. It would seem, my used-to-be friend, you have become the enemy...

En-garde!
Boom Boom Larew said…
I'm looking for a new sty'le to complement the sty'le of my home.
nonamedufus said…
Up your nose with a garden hose, baby.
LOTGK said…
Alas, I am quite busy assisting guarding our Alaskan border from the Russians.
Luddite said…
Crisp, Clean, no Caffeine. An uncluttered funny site to read. Sorry, hope you don't win, probably wouldn't want to visit anymore.
nonamedufus said…
Thank you Sarah I see you're so busy you forget to apply your lipstick today.
nonamedufus said…
Aw, that's very nice of you. Thanks. Wait! Jen sent you didn't she? She wanted to let me down easy, I know.
meleahrebeccah said…
this blog would look FANTASTIC in the right shade of Lipstick!
nonamedufus said…
I was thinking of something in a mauve sparkly, gloss kind of thing. What do you think?
Luddite said…
Wait! You mean you've been dating my ex-wife Jen? Now I kind of hope you do win.
nonamedufus said…
Your ex-wife is Jen at Tribal Blogs? What a small world.
Nicky said…
Up your gizzard with a rubber lizard, baby!
nonamedufus said…
In your ear with a can of beer, dear. Wait a minute. That'd be a colossal waste of beer. Um, on your shoulder with a can opener? Just doesn't have the same impact, does it.
Linda Medrano said…
Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner! This post is so good it's almost a shooo in. But now we need to see what that gorgeous, glamorous, and giddy Cheese Crew does!
nonamedufus said…
Linda, you don't need to see the "Empress in her head's" submission again. Like the Titanic she's going down. And thanks for the vote of confidence.
Madge said…
Whatever you do, DO NOT, I REPEAT... DO NOT GET THE BRAZILIAN, I admit it might make Little Dufus look a little less, well, um little, but that is a pain compared to no other. Spare yourself first.
nonamedufus said…
Listen, if it will help me win this contest I'll not only wax Brazil but all of South America. (That was not a euphemism.)
Mikewj said…
Great post. But I'm still torn between voting for you and the chick in the pink sundress with the phone card and the baby oil. It's not personal.
nonamedufus said…
I get it. She's a girl. Can't say I really rock it in a pink sundress despite my exhortations to the contrary. Alas, you saw through me. (Well of course you did. That dress leaves precious little to the imagination.)
K A B L O O E Y said…
When do you find out if you are the winner? Also, thanks, because I just signed up for a makeover with Tribal Blogs. (I told them I found them via you, so maybe you'll get a finder's fee. Or a widget. Can't have too many of those.
nonamedufus said…
Hey, that's cool KABLOOEY. I wouldn't turn down a finder's fee. As long as it's not a box of lipstick.

Popular posts from this blog

Tales From The Supermarket

Bob and Brenda worked in the supermarket. They weren't check-out clerks. And they weren't stock-boys. Brenda sure wasn't. And they weren't employees who worked in the fish section or the deli. No. They were on the shelves.

They hadn't been on the shelves very long but in that short time they'd developed a considerably close friendship.

The chatted all day when the store was busy and at night when the store was closed. They talked about everything. The talked about what raw products they came from. The talked about their manufacturing processes. And they talked about the long routes in semi-trailers that brought them to this store.

Oddly enough the one thing they never made clear to one another was just what product each of them was.

One day when Brenda was commenting on their friendship she told Bob she was grateful for their amity. "Are you Tea?" said Bob, pekoe-ing her way. "I thought I was Tea". You're coffee!"

This week's Tw…

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …