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How Cliche

You ever wonder why people often don't say what they really mean? In an effort to be precise with their language they'll over think things and use a cliche. Often these cliches can be deceiving or not make sense. In short, they're not very helpful.

For example, if you were to stop and ask "how far is it to the next town?" and the answer you got was "oh, about 25 miles as the crow flies" would you find that very helpful? Well, no. You're not a crow. You're driving a car and after several rights or lefts and over several bridges it'll probably be about 100 miles. A crow flies straight. You don't. Unless your on something I'm not aware of.

And what about the cliche "cooking with gas'? I don't know. My wife's mistakenly wandered into the bathroom after me and there's no way she'd use that stuff to cook with.

How about "a bird in the hand's worth two in the bush"? The only thing a bird in the hand is good for is leaving some doo-doo on your palm. Next time leave it in the bush.

What about when someone tells you to "bite your tongue"? What are they nuts? They should try it and see how they like it.

And frankly I'd be tripping myself up if someone told me to "put your best foot forward". How would I know which foot was my best foot, anyway? I mean I'm kinda partial to my right foot but others beg to differ.

And when somebody tells me something's "as easy as pie" how easy is pie? I don't know how to make a pie so for me that might be "hard to believe".

And if someone's able to "kill two birds with one stone" they're one of two things: very, very mean or a very good aim.

And telling someone there's "plenty of fish in the sea" when they break up with someone isn't helpful. I mean you can only be so healthy and what does that have to do with finding a new relationship.

And the expression "I wasn't born yesterday" annoys me. Of course you weren't. Who learns to talk in just two days.

So if you feel as I do about people using cliches instead of straight language "join the club.!"

"That just goes without saying."


Cruella Collett said…
Oh, I dunno. I feel that the grass is greener on the other side of this one. If no one used clichés we might miss them. Half the time we wouldn't know what they were talking about. We'd be as lost as a cucumber in the hen coop (see?!).
Boom Boom Larew said…
This post is just the cat's pajamas! Your mind's as slippery as pig snot on a glass doorknob, Dufus!
Anonymous said…
I would be silenced without cliches.

Hey! This might be a good thing...for my husband.

Abby said…
"I don't give a rat's ass" about cliches, as "I'm sweating like a whore in church" despite the fact that it's "colder than a witch's nipple" and "raining cats and dogs" out there today.

P.S. Break a leg.
00dozo said…
Holy chestnuts Batduf, with so many cliches being spread like manure around here, there's not enough room to swing a cat.
nonamedufus said…
Cruella: Oh I've got to find an opportunity to use that "cucumber in the hen coop" one. That's simply the cat's suspenders!
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: Hahaha another good one to use in future. I used to have a chemistry teacher in high school who always said "that's a horse of a different garage".
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: But not the rest of us! That'd be like living without DDP. How would we survive?
nonamedufus said…
Abby: Wow, you sure know your cliches! Well done.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo:Oh I'm just a babe in the woods who's only scratched the surface!
Ziva said…
I couldn't agree with you more; clichés are annoying and often make no sense at all and make you seem more stupid than you really are. People should just learn to shut up, cause as you know, a closed mouth gathers no foot.
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: Oh, yeah, absolutely cause a foot in your mouth's worth two in the moss.

You know, if I get enough of these from you guys I can write a new post about mixed-up cliches. Love it.
meleah rebeccah said…
Yep. None of those make any sense to me at all.

"And if someone's able to "kill two birds with one stone" they're one of two things: very, very mean or a very good aim."

THAT reminded of the SNL skits by Jack Handy "Deep Thoughts"...

"I wonder if it's really possible to kill two birds with one stone? And if so, why would anyone *want* to do that anyway? I say, if you can kill two things with one stone…why not take out two clowns instead? They're scary."
nonamedufus said…
meleah rebeccah: I'm not familiar with Jack Handy. I go to bed well before SNL starts. But I looked him up on Wikipedia. One example of his Deep Thoughts was "The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw." Now that's funny.

And I'm with you - and him - on the clowns.
that was a "laugh a minute", but "i'm a brick short of a dunny"

nonamedufus said…
IWBY: I had to look it up. Dunny is Oz slang for toilet. Funny. In Canada we'd say something like a few fries short of a poutine.
ha! now we're even , I had to look up poutine :) you have gravy AND cheese on your chips????
nonamedufus said…
IWBY: I thought you might have to. It's a Canadian thing but "not everyone's cup of tea"".
Anonymous said…
Hilarious post. Great comments.
Gave me an archy isshole.
nonamedufus said…
Anon: I'm loving how everyone's gettin' into this. Sorry about your isshole. Did you try turning the other cheek?
Bee's Blog said…
This is fun. I came here through Everyday Goddess and have to say that you deserve her award.
nonamedufus said…
Bea: Well thanks very much. I'm glad you dropped by. And, hey, it's great EG enjoyed this post enough to share her award with me. Thanks EG!

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