Brits Are Mad As Hell

That's "mad" as in upset not unbalanced, although a case might be made for the latter. But I digress.

A recent survey of jolly old Englanders indicated they spend three and-a-half years of their lives being angry. That works out to an hour and 19 minutes a day! Well, hell, that's easily enough explained. If you had to drink beer the consistency of motor oil, eat tasteless delicacies like bangers and mash and live without central heating you'd be bloody angry too!

Here are the top ten anger triggers:

1. bad customer service

2. automated phone systems

3. public transport

4. modern technology

5. queueing

6. traffic wardens

7. dog mess

8. learning drivers

9. eating on public transport

10. public display of affection

I can't argue with most of those as things that tick me off. Although I don't understand getting angry over public displays of affection. Public displays of eating on public transport, okay. But holding hands and kissing. That means there's still hope, people. Unless, of course, couples are feeding each other in public.

Canadians have long had three things to complain about: the weather, imported American beer and the Toronto Maple Leafs. And all with good reason. All three suck.

But thanks to the Brits, here in the colonies we now have a fourth item. If I see one more promo for the televised wedding of Harry and Kate (or is it William? Yeah, it's William. Those Royals all look the same. I think it's inbreeding.) I'm gonna throw a brick through my flat screen TV. Those 2 should have eloped.

But then I'll have to use public transit while I watch people eating, looking out for traffic wardens as I jaywalk, avoiding dog mess while I queue up to encounter bad customer service as I purchasing replacement modern technology...

And as for public displays of affection? I Have my own royal greeting. On April 29th I intend to wave one finger instead of the whole hand.