Skip to main content

Brits Are Mad As Hell


That's "mad" as in upset not unbalanced, although a case might be made for the latter. But I digress.

A recent survey of jolly old Englanders indicated they spend three and-a-half years of their lives being angry. That works out to an hour and 19 minutes a day! Well, hell, that's easily enough explained. If you had to drink beer the consistency of motor oil, eat tasteless delicacies like bangers and mash and live without central heating you'd be bloody angry too!

Here are the top ten anger triggers:

1. bad customer service
2. automated phone systems
3. public transport
4. modern technology
5. queueing
6. traffic wardens
7. dog mess
8. learning drivers
9. eating on public transport
10. public display of affection

I can't argue with most of those as things that tick me off. Although I don't understand getting angry over public displays of affection. Public displays of eating on public transport, okay. But holding hands and kissing. That means there's still hope, people. Unless, of course, couples are feeding each other in public.

Canadians have long had three things to complain about: the weather, imported American beer and the Toronto Maple Leafs. And all with good reason. All three suck.

But thanks to the Brits, here in the colonies we now have a fourth item. If I see one more promo for the televised wedding of Harry and Kate (or is it William? Yeah, it's William. Those Royals all look the same. I think it's inbreeding.) I'm gonna throw a brick through my flat screen TV. Those 2 should have eloped.

But then I'll have to use public transit while I watch people eating, looking out for traffic wardens as I jaywalk, avoiding dog mess while I queue up to encounter bad customer service as I purchasing replacement modern technology...

And as for public displays of affection? I Have my own royal greeting. On April 29th I intend to wave one finger instead of the whole hand.

Comments

Anonymous said…
So I should take back the Kate Middleton doll I got you?

Dang!

And I really thought it was a perfect gift for you.

FAIL!

hee hee hee
meleah rebeccah said…
It does seem like there is a commercial, or an advertisement, or "breaking news" every FIVE SECONDS regarding the wedding of Harry and Kate. I wish they'd hurry up and get married already so we can move on with our lives.
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: There's too much time, money and effort being devoted to this. People get married every day. Why do people care about this wedding? I don't get it.
nonamedufus said…
meleah rebeccah: Now you're talkin'!
00dozo said…
You can't discount another Canadian (or should I say "Torontonian") anger trigger: road construction, in the summer (it's expected), usually causing more traffic than necessary on a long weekend when you're heading 'up north' on the Friday. Same applies for the return trip on the Monday.

William and Kate who?? And they are getting married on the 29th? On a Friday? Ha! That'll surely be one long weekend in traffic.
;-)
nonamedufus said…
oodozo: OK, we'll add road construction. It's a bitch...and it's everywhere.

Yeah, they're getting married on Friday. What's up with that?
Linda Medrano said…
Come on, Dufus, you know you are going to stay up all night and watch the "Royals" get married. Actually, I named my dog Harry after Prince Harry. I do like that guy and he smokes a little pot. (Not my dog, the Prince.)
nonamedufus said…
Linda: Not me. I'll be up all night the day before celebrating my birthday!
Sandra said…
It's not like I care, but for the sake of my husband and dad, who are diehard Leaf fans, I sort of have to say this: leave that shitty team out of this list. :)
nonamedufus said…
Sandra: A little sensitive, eh? Everyone knows we have our seasons mixed up in Canada. The leafs always fall in the spring.
Ryan Garns said…
I'm surprised Hugh Grant didn't make their list.
nonamedufus said…
Ryan: He ranked #11, just ahead of Benny Hill.
Bluezy said…
I had a friend describe Guiness to me and I backed out on buying any. I need to go to a bar and just try a shot glass of it to say I did, though and maybe I might want a whole mug.
nonamedufus said…
Bluezy: I'm working my way up. I've discovered a a Quebec beer called Griffon which is dark and a little heavier than I'm used to. I like it. Who knows. Maybe someday I'll again try Guinness.
Canadian Blend said…
I'm seeing far too much about Harry and Kate. Each time they pop up on TV or in Mozilla all I can wonder is why am I supposed care? I'm sure they're a lovely couple of people... but really.
nonamedufus said…
Cdn Blend: I know. It' simply over kill.
Venom said…
Hahahha!! I love it - the old 'Trudeau salute'!!
nonamedufus said…
Venom: Good to see you lurkin' about again! You got it in one!
Anonymous said…
Ha - i live in the UK and the wedding is barely mentioned, the only people who give a shit about the royals are our colonial friends. We couldnt care less about the sausage eating wasters!
nonamedufus said…
Anon: Ha, an anonymous Brit. Regardless, with a view like that I'm starting to like you guys. Sausage eating wasters? Now you're talking. Oh, present company excluded.

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday Funnies

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy!  You know what happens on Imagination D

SuperBowl Ads

Well, the game didn't go my way, but some of the American Super Bowl Ads (found at: http://www.myspace.com/superbowlads ) turned my crank... Diet Pepsi Max Super Bowl Ad: Wake Up People Ginseng & Caffeine Bud Light Wine & Cheese Party Super Bowl Commercial Bridgestone Tire Super Bowl Commercial: Squirrel vs Car Garmin Nuvi Super Bowl Commercial: Napolean Finds His Way w/ GPS Bud Light Super Bowl Ad: Immigrants with Carlos Mencia Planters Nuts Super Bowl Commercial: Woman Attracts Men w/ Nuts Pepsi Stuff Super Bowl Commercial: Justin Timberlake Bud Light Super Bowl Commercial: Cave Man Invents Wheel Coca Cola Super BOwl Commercial: Parade Balloon Victoria's Secret Super Bowl Commercial with Adriana Lima Book: Clapton - The Autobiography by Eric Clapton Music: New Seasons by The Sadies