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Debate Seems To Be The Hardest Word

So Canada is in the midst of an election, and we're chugging towards a May 2nd date with the end of the world as we know it, erm, ah, destiny. I live in our nation's capital region and as both a former journalist and bureaucrat in my former lives I probably follow politics a little more closely than most. I think anyone beyond the confines of our region half the time could care less, though. I'm being kind. It's probably more like 90% of the time.

But the televised leadership debates will afford Canadians an opportunity to see our political bobble heads in action, away from the sterile and staged daily events and outside the prism of nightly televised attack ads. Almost.

You see the television consortium responsible for this exercise in uncivil civics in action has, in it's wisdom, decided to omit Green Party leader Elizabeth May from the debates because she hasn't any sitting members of Parliament, even though she will be fielding candidates in every riding across the country, unlike Bloc separatist leader Gilles Duceppe who only fields candidates from the province of Quebec. I guess like that great 20th century philosopher Kermit the frog said, "It ain't easy being Green."

So, Elizabeth, to the tune of Elton John's Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word, this is for you:

What have I got to do to make you hear me
What have I got to do to make this fair
When the TV networks do snub me
And you tune to find that I'm not there

What do you do when you're Green leader
And thought to be out there, kind of edgy
What do I say when it's all over
That they gave me a political wedgie?

It's bad, and sad
It's a bad, sad situation
This election, you know, is my third
I'll never get elected
If they always keep me from being heard

Harper and Ignatieff will be there
Layton and Duceppe the little turd
What will I do when issues move me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When debate seems to be the hardest word.


Boom Boom Larew said…
And I thought our political system was confusing? Let the woman speak!
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: Well her party's going to court over this so Elizabeth may speak yet. But for now Elizabeth May, not.
Anonymous said…
Whoa. Is that female bobble head Elizabeth May?

I'm gonna assume it is (and yes I know what happens when you assume...blah, blah, blah! hee hee).

At first glance, Ms. May's bobblehead looked like SARAH PALIN!

Perhaps therein lies the TRUE problem?

Nobody wants to hear Sarah Palin south of your borders...

hee hee
00dozo said…
Well, this was truly fun and well done. A roaster of the 'coaster'.

"Boom Boom: Well her party's going to court over this so Elizabeth may speak yet. But for now Elizabeth May, not."

I think you should run for Political PUNdit of the year.

nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Compared to Sarah Palin, for what Elizabeth May lacks in political donations she more than makes up for in political acumen (even though she's the only woman leader in the race, haha). Meanwhile, how appropriate that bobble heads portray our politicians!
nonamedufus said…
00dozo:*Grooooooaannn* (Wish I'd thought of that!)
meleah rebeccah said…
Elizabeth really looks like Sarah Palin. And your lyrics are AWESOME!!!!
nonamedufus said…
meleah rebeccah: I'll have to run real pics of Sarah and Elizabeth. They don't look alike at all! Those bobble heads are deceiving. Ha! Not unlike our politicians!
injaynesworld said…
At least you're getting a chance to dump your cretin conservatives. We're stuck with ours and now a lot of the morons who thought it would be such a grand idea to vote them in are standing around with their thumbs up their arses going "Gee. I didn't know he'd do THAT!" Unfortunately, their buyer's remorse is a little late.

I'm enjoying hearing about Canadian politics for a change.
Jaffer said…
Haha... it's so funny to find people comparing Elizabeth May to Sarah Palin in looks !

I believe people should be left with there blissful ignorance.

I believe it was Churchill who said " "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried"
nonamedufus said…
Jayne: Our Conservatives are not that different than yours. The sad thing is, short of a miracle, it looks like the majority of Canadians will return them to power. Call me a hopeless romantic (or a liberal) but I believe in miracles.
nonamedufus said…
Jaffer: I know. They couldn't be more different. Tune in tomorrow where I'll perform a public service for my readers.
Nicky said…
I'm curious. Do you think Elizabeth will add anything positive to the debate if she finally gets to speak? Also, I wonder why you're so hard on Gilles when you and he apparently think alike :-)

I really hope Harper gets voted out.
nonamedufus said…
Nicky: I actually concur with excluding her from the debate, whether she'd make a contribution or not. And I'm not hard on Duceppe. I was only trying to find a rhyme for "word". (You've been following me on Facebook, I see.) And if Harper's re-elected, to paraphrase a Tory attack ad, he won't be coming back for me.

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