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The Americans Are Coming! The Americans Are Coming!


Need a job my American buddies?  Go north young man.  You heard me right.  That's the advice being offered by popular website The Huffington Post who last week in a front page story counselled unemployed Americans to seek employment across the border in the great white north.

In what sounded like a pitch from some midnight television snake oil salesman, the article begins...

"Stubbornly high unemployment rates got you down? Not sold on the economic recovery? Look no further than America's polite neighbor to the north, where job numbers are surging and home prices have been rising steadily for nearly a year."

Well, first thing you Americans have to learn is how to spell.  There's a "u" in neighbour.  Not necessarily a USA but a "u". 

Granted our economic recovery seems to be on the fast track, having created 93,200 jobs last month.  That's 10,000 more jobs than the US, eh. (Ha, ha, get it? USA, US eh)

We're #1! We're #1!

And we have poutine and May Wests that set us apart from "nos amis Americains".  Oh that's right, we speak 2 languages up here, too.  Bien sur!


Canada's basic food group: poutine, May West and a Pepsi!

Now HuffPost included a little poll in their article that asked the following question:

Would You Consider Moving To Canada For A Job?
- Yes, I'll follow the money.
- No, I'm staying in the States.
- It depends on salary -- or how long I would have to be unemployed.

As of Sunday, 61.67 per cent would follow the money.  Only 13.44 per cent of those who voted would stay in the States.

Should the threat (no insult intended) of such an exodus come to pass what would this mean for Canada?  I already have to watch their TV shows and movies.  I'm inundated by their sports and entertainment figures - both the good and the bad.  And I'm influenced by their politics.  The only change I could see would be Americans would start mowing my lawn, caring for my garden, driving my taxis, welcoming me to Wal-Mart and serving me fast-food.

I wonder if my friends in Arizona can give me some advice?


Comments

Deb said…
I've applied for a passport so I can head over the border in hopes you will let me mow your lawn and tend the garden for a box of May Wests.
nonamedufus said…
Deb: Deal! Don't tell anyone, though,okay?
00dozo said…
MMmmmm...Vachon pastries! My fav was the Flakey.

Besides learning how to spell, it will also be necessary for US immigrants to properly pronounce the letter "z".
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: The letter zed? Yeah but there's much more than that. They'll have to learn to say "eh", eh? Not to mention always saying please, thank you and sorry. They've got their work cut out for them.
Don said…
Sorry, but I'm staying put. Putine or not! We haven't had it as bad down here as in the rest of the country so I'm just going to hang around and continue jet skiing and pretending to have a real job.
nonamedufus said…
Don: Damn. I already have Deb lined up for my lawn and garden. I thought for sure I could get you to renovate my kitchen.
Quirkyloon said…
Here's your advice.

You'll find us loitering on the corners of any convenience stores. (You have those up north don't you? hee hee). We'll be waiting in groups and hoping you'll drive up and wave to us and give us a job for the day.

We'll try to smile at you, just don't mind our missing teeth.

Oh, and if we accidentally (or intentionally behind your back) destroy something?

You have no recourse.

Sounds like the deal of the century, no?
nonamedufus said…
Quirks (Mesa, Arizona): Thanks for the advice. Convenience stores? Yeah, here in Quebec they're called a "depanneur" and, unlike Ontario across the river, they sell beer and wine, so the folks from Ontario are always crossing the river and depleting our stocks of alcohol!

Let me know when you're coming. Deb's already doing my lawn and garden. Maybe you could paint my house.

Oh, how did you lose your missing teeth?
Jaffer said…
Did the huffpost mention what lovely weather we have the year around ;-)

It should attract more from below the snow belt.
nonamedufus said…
Jaffer: You know the article left out any mention of the weather - 2 months of summer followed by 10 months of winter.
Jen said…
I'd go, Canada isn't that much different from where I am now anyway, except for the poutine. What about your convenience stores? All of us Americans could work in them, or as roofers. Maybe I will stay, eh?

I don't think I could learn how to spell properly up there and I know the metric system would forever condemn me to working in the convenience stores.

How do you pronounce "z"? Is it 'zed'?
nonamedufus said…
Jen: Sure, give it a go. But if you worked in a convenience store it couldn't be a gas station 'cause we pump in litres not gallons. And we drive in kilometres not miles. But that's okay our speedometers have both...we're bilingual.

It's "zed".
Jaffer said…
@Jen - Hard luck - we Indian immigrants have them under our control ;-)

You could try construction
RA said…
After the perfect pitch beginning of your post I was ready to leave Finland for Canada, but then I saw the image of poutine.... :/
nonamedufus said…
Jaffer & Jen: Construction? I'm still looking for someone to renovate my kitchen - cheap.
nonamedufus said…
RA: If you don't like poutine you may not get in. But we're big on donuts, too.
ReformingGeek said…
May West? What? You can't decide between a month or a direction, eh?

What the heck is a May West?

No way. I'm staying in this big fat state of Texas with all the yummy Tex-mex food.
nonamedufus said…
RG: A May West is a round dessert cake with cream filling, similar to a Twinkie, except for its chocolate coating. It is found in Canada, and is particularly popular in Quebec. It was originally called a "Mae West".

If that's not to your liking we also have something called a Jos. Louis. Jos. Louis is a plastic-wrapped confection consisting of two chocolatey sponge cake rounds with a cream filling within a milk chocolate shell.

By the way, we have some transplanted Texans and Mexicans here as there is Tex-Mex food in abundance.

Oh, yes, were you aware Quebec is bigger than Texas? Nannie, nannie, boo-boo. Sorry, got carried away. Must be my sugar high after eating a half-dozen May Wests.
Rebecca said…
I'm here from Tribal Blogs. Hey! :D

I would stay in the U.S. (most likely) but I would strongly encourage everyone else to go to Canada. Then, more jobs would be open for me here in the U.S. :D

The real reason why I would never move to Canada? Chicken poutine, May West, and Pepsi. Blllleeeeechhh. :-p
nonamedufus said…
Rebecca: Welcome. Tribal Blogs is a great place. Hmm, never tried poutine with chicken. You're a sly one, though - sending everyone else northward. Heh, heh.
When I was unemployed, my family seriously considered moving to Vancouver, which may be my favorite city in the world. But then we changed our minds. Sigh. I really like Canada. And, generally, Canadians.
nonamedufus said…
Mike: In a sense, then, it's too bad you found a job. Vancouver, while a pretty city, is an expensive spot to live. Housing prices are out of this world.
CatLadyLarew said…
I'm ready to become an expat any time. Any houses for sale on your block? (Most of my TV vegetating lately has been watching Canadian home improvement shows. I heart Mike Holmes!)
nonamedufus said…
CL: I love HGTV. Holmes must be getting tired - or smart. He has a new show called Holmes Inspection where he uncovers problems in the house and then someone else does all the work.

Oh, and there's a house or two for sale in my neighbourhood. Should we get Homes to take a look at them for you?
Shieldmaiden96 said…
I did some reading on Canadian immigration law a few years back (it was work related) turns out, you actually have to have a REASON to move to Canada. You have to bring all sorts of unique and special skills and whatnot. And prove that the job you want must be filled by your very qualified patootie and not by some deserving, polite, and well trained Canadian.
We'll visit, though! But you can keep that thing on a plate. (What all is in that, anyway?)
nonamedufus said…
Shieldmaiden96: Hey, it's Unfinished Person's/Rambler's better half! Yeah, our Conservative government has made immigration laws tougher than they once were.

The dish? French fries, cheese curds and gravy. It's a Canadian delicacy, otherwise known as cardiac arrest on a plate.
nonamedufus said…
CL: I love HGTV. Holmes must be getting tired - or smart. He has a new show called Holmes Inspection where he uncovers problems in the house and then someone else does all the work.

Oh, and there's a house or two for sale in my neighbourhood. Should we get Homes to take a look at them for you?
Quirkyloon said…
Here's your advice.

You'll find us loitering on the corners of any convenience stores. (You have those up north don't you? hee hee). We'll be waiting in groups and hoping you'll drive up and wave to us and give us a job for the day.

We'll try to smile at you, just don't mind our missing teeth.

Oh, and if we accidentally (or intentionally behind your back) destroy something?

You have no recourse.

Sounds like the deal of the century, no?
nonamedufus said…
RG: A May West is a round dessert cake with cream filling, similar to a Twinkie, except for its chocolate coating. It is found in Canada, and is particularly popular in Quebec. It was originally called a "Mae West".

If that's not to your liking we also have something called a Jos. Louis. Jos. Louis is a plastic-wrapped confection consisting of two chocolatey sponge cake rounds with a cream filling within a milk chocolate shell.

By the way, we have some transplanted Texans and Mexicans here as there is Tex-Mex food in abundance.

Oh, yes, were you aware Quebec is bigger than Texas? Nannie, nannie, boo-boo. Sorry, got carried away. Must be my sugar high after eating a half-dozen May Wests.
ReformingGeek said…
May West? What? You can't decide between a month or a direction, eh?

What the heck is a May West?

No way. I'm staying in this big fat state of Texas with all the yummy Tex-mex food.

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