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Have Pity

I've been sick. Sick as a dog. I don't know why people say that. Sick as a dog. If a dog had been this sick it would have been put out of its misery. I think I had a double dose of that nastiest of viruses known to man - and by man I mean men - the man flu.

It started with a scratchy throat. But it quickly progressed to the World War III of colds. I tell you I've never felt this bad. High temperatures, coughing, sneezing, nostril cavities full of man flu mucus and ear aches and diminished hearing.

And this has gone on for nearly a week now. (Yeah, I'm real fun to be around.) But Dr. D er, ah, I mean Mrs. D has been taking care of me. She phones from work to make sure I'm taking my medicine, drinking plenty of fluids and so on. And when she gets home she'll make me a scrambled egg sandwich. For the first two days of this thing I didn't it at all. I've spent my days on the couch - well nothing new in that, but I didn't get out of my pyjamas. And I went to bed at 6 o'clock. But today's a big day. I feel well enough to have a shower. Won't Mrs D be pleased!

Now being home alone sick all day isn't much fun. There's no one to whine and complain to. And for a guy, that's tough. Because the whole idea of the man flu is to whine and complain to your partner about how sick you are. So not only am I sick but even the only enjoyment of being sick is taken away from me.

The days aren't too bad. Just coughing once and awhile with the odd nose blow as I watch TV with the sound up to 30 so I can hear the bloody thing. But the nights are another matter. You know, when your nose is full and you sit straight up you give each nostril equal opportunity. But the minute you're in bed and your head hits that pillow, look out: I haven't seen anything run as fast as Niagara Falls before. So it's wake up every hour, lift snotty face from pillow, blow nose, drink, water, pee, wash hands, wash face, come back to bed, turn other check to the pillow, wake up... You get the idea.

Well thanks for being my surrogate wife (not that way Nicky) you guys and stepping up and letting me whine and complain to you. I just know you feel sorry for me and that makes me feel a little better.

If you want to know more about man flu check out the Urban Dictionary, a pretty funny place.

In the meantime, to get a better grasp of what I've been going trough I found this video to help explain...

Honey, where's my scrambled egg sandwich?


Nora Blithe said…
Aw, poor sick baby. I bet a cat to cuddle with would make you feel better. All kidding aside the flu (man or otherwise) sucks. Hope you feel better soon.
nonamedufus said…
You may be on to something. Maybe my cat made me sick. And I didn't even cuddle it. Which would be the last thing I'd do.
Linda Medrano said…
I am so sorry John. I had something very similar right before Alex's birthday. I kept hoping I'd feel just a little better but I kept getting just worse. Finally, I was pretty sure I was dying so I went to the doc and he fixed me right up. Don't let this go on too long. (Oh, and I'm sorry you don't have someone there all the time to complain to. It does help.)
Ziva said…
Oh no, my favourite dufus is sick! I really hope you feel better soon. Now, if you don't mind, stay away from me. Obviously, I would barely notice this measly cold since I'm not a weak man, but still, I'd prefer not to be sick.
nonamedufus said…
Women get man flu?
nonamedufus said…
Ziva, you're not mocking me, are you?
Cheryl said…
Aw dufus. HEAL! Your wife can't be expected to keep this up much longer.
nonamedufus said…
She's a marvel, believe me.
MalisaHargrove said…
Oh, no! The man flu makes you have a British accent? Sorry, you are a sick puppy. Get a bottle of Canadian blend and you will feel better soon. By the way, I'm a full time whine listener. I do it all day. Just contact me and I will ignore...I mean listen to you just like I do Lurch.
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, now only if I could call 911.
meleahrebeccah said…
Oh no. I hope you feel better ASAP. Being sick is awful, and the flu is just plain brutal.
nonamedufus said…
Me too Meleah. Thanks. I really appreciate it.
Kablooey said…
Sorry to hear you're sick, Dufus, but I have to say, the headline in my reader scared me, so I'm actually really glad to hear it's "just" a cold. I mean THE WORST cold in the world. But still. I'm glad you'll be fine soon. And sleep on open tissues. It's gross, but not so gross as mucus-gluing yourself to your pillow. Btw: I've had a bad cold for a week too, but it's just a girl cold.
Mike said…
Well kudos to you to actually blog about it while you feel like crap. I can't find my mojo to write and I feel fine.
nonamedufus said…
Good luck with that girly cold, Kablooey. Thanks for your get well wishes..That mucus on the pillow thing is really yucky, by the way.
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, I guess the one upside is it gave me something to blog about. You need to get a man cold.
Nicky said…
Not what way, Dufus? :-)
nonamedufus said…
As Paul Anka might say "you're having my artificially inseminated baby" kinda way.

I only meant thanks for sitting in and listening to me moan and groan (not in that way Nicky).
Nicky said…
Hey! Why am I being singled out? It's not like... oh, wait. It is like. Never mind.

I hope you're feeling better :-)
Shawn said…
Hope you are feeling better. I've been fighting a cold for close to two weeks. Knocked the crap out of me.
quirkyloon said…
Uh Dufus? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but this is EGGSACTLY how the zombie apocalypse started on The Walking Dead.

heh heh?
nonamedufus said…
Oh, well that part hasn't happened to me yet.
nonamedufus said…
Aw, I was just messin' with ya.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, man, yeah, I certainly feel like a Zombie. In my head, in my head...

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