Skip to main content

US and Them #4

If you had to identify the one thing that truly unites Americans with their northern neighbours, what would it be? The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? How about McDonald’s, Arby’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken? Or maybe it’s that we’re both great democracies? You’d have to be unpatriotic – or an illegal alien – to disagree with that but no that’s not it. Maybe it’s that each of our economies is in a tailspin? Or that we share the world’s longest undefended border? Nope, sorry, it’s none of the above. What really unites Canadians with their American brethren (and sistren) is their love of beer!

Tall-boys, stubbies, quarts, pints, cans, kegs or out of a tap, the nectar of the gods comes in many forms, shapes and sizes.

Now Canadians may hold their beer in a stein but they also hold it in high esteem. And they have a very distinct view of the quality associated with American beer.


Canadians may be known for their politeness and reserved nature but when it comes to their opinion of American beer, they simply can’t hold back. Not to put too fine a point on it, they think it tastes like swill. And they think when they drink it, owing to a) the distinct lack of alcohol compared to Canadian beer and b) it’s ability to pass through you quicker than spruce juice through a goose, they spend far too much time going to the bathroom. Yep if it weren’t for American beer we wouldn’t have that age-old maxim “You don’t purchase beer, you only rent it!” More importantly it has a lower buzz quotient. Yeah, you’ve got to drink many more in order to get your freak on.

Alas, it’s the Americans who have the last laugh on those uppity Canadians. You see Molson and Labatt’s - Canada’s largest breweries - are no longer, well, Canadian. Molson is owned by Coors , Labatt’s by Anheuser Busch.

But Canadians can rest easy. If all else fails, we still have Canada’s #1 favourite beer...

Comments

DouglasDyer said…
Oh yeah? Why don't you come down here and say that to my face? Oh, and bring some beer with you.
Come on, Dufus, Canadian "beer" is basically hop-enhanced moose piss. Or maybe it's taken from hopping mooses (meeses?). At any rate, when it comes to beer, Canada is about the last country I'd have ship it to me.
nonamedufus said…
Doug: Yeah, I better bring my own.

Chris: Ironically, the largest remaining "Canadian" brewery is called Moosehead.
Anonymous said…
What about making your own?

Ms. Thirty Something
Anonymous said…
What about making your own?

Ms. Thirty Something

Popular posts from this blog

Paroxysm Paradox

The weather was unseasonably warm for October. The sun set around 6:30 but the daylight hours were quite enjoyable. So thought Richard, as he set out for his daily walk in the woods. He marvelled at the turning leaves which exhibited an explosion of colour more significant with each passing day.

But Richard knew the turning leaves would soon start to fall. And the trees would soon be bare with no leaves at all. And then the snow would fly and fall from the trees as the leaves had before it.

Richard couldn't help but think of the sudden change to come as a seizure of sorts. And he wasn't looking forward to it. After all, who would welcome a seizure, he thought, as he rolled uncontrollably among the leaves.

This week paroxysm/seizure was the prompt at Two Word Tuesday.

Times Are So Tough...

Merci Amy