God, uh, if there is one, is one smart dude. As the story goes he fashioned Eve from Adam's rib and that point in man - and women's - evolution can be pointed to as when the trouble began. Well, He made her different, didn't He. He gave her something with which to catch man's eye. Yep, I'm talking about breasts. Or as the Urban Dictionary euphamistically describes them:
Tits, titties, tig ol' bitties, boobs, jugs, melons, cans, hooters, dirty pillows, gazongas, yabbos, tig bitties, knockers, mammaries, fun bags, honkers, headlights, baps, meat puppets, ta-tas, naturals, boobies, guns, bahama mammas, balloons, bawagos, big brown eyes, blinkers, bobambas, bodacious tatas, bombs, bosom, bosooms, boulders, Bristols, brown suckies, bubatoes, bups, bust, busts, Cadillac bumper bullets, casabas, chest, chuberteens, cones, gedoinkers, doorknobs, floppers, fried eggs, fugis, gams, gazangas, jungle tits, golden bazoos, golden winnebagoes, mounds, mountains, marshmallows, Maguffies, grenadoes, hogans, honkers,itty-bitty-titties, jalobes, bazongoes, bazookas, bazooms, bazoos, ninnies, nips, nupies, pair, nice pair, penis squeezers, beamers, starter buttons, tads, handles, tatas, tittyboppers, bee stings, jiggers, jobes, rolling hills, cup cakes, cushions, dairy section, highbeams, hinyackas, knobs, love apples, love monkeys, luscious scoops of flesh, twins, love warts, watermellons, wazoos, whoppers, winnebagos, yabos, mambas, mammas, mamms, massive mammaries, mazabas, mellons, milk factories, Mcguffies, mosquito bites,perkies, pillows, pimples, pink chewies, rack, set, smosabs, stacked, torpedoes, towel racks.
I'm sure we haven't exhausted all the synonoms for "chesticles" in this list, although I must say I am after reading it! Now the next natural question - for a guy anyway - is who has the biggest ones? Well funny you should ask. I asked myself the same question and went looking (in a manner of speaking) for the answer.
According to WikiAnswers, a lady called Olivia Dear in Wales UK is rumoured to have the biggest in the UK .
Lolo Ferrari (born Eve Valois) appeared in the French Guinness Book of World Records in 1996 and again in the American Guinness Book of World Records in 2003. Her brassiere measurements have been given by various sources as 58F, 54G, and 54J.
Sabrina Sabrok (born March 4, 1977 in Buenos Aires, Argentina) is an Argentine model and television actress. Sabrok is mostly known for her large breasts (small wonder, they each weigh 3.5 kilograms) and her beauty. Sabrina has recently gained attention with her plans to have the world's largest breasts through plastic surgery; she hopes to achieve a bra size of 42XXX.
Tina Small (yeah, right) a British model of the 1980's claimed to measure 84EE OR GG-22-34.
The aptly (or amply) named Chelsea Charms claims to have a 153XXX bust, but no conclusive evidence is shown.
And my two favourites (no pun intended):
Wendy Whoppers claims an 88 EE bust.
And finally, the holder of the Guinness World Record for the "World's Largest Augmented Breasts" is (wait for it) Maxi Mounds .
She approached Guinness in August of 2003, but the category did not yet exist. After creating the category the Guinness organization contacted her to request her measurements and other documentation. She was presented with an official certificate that reads: Maxi Mounds (USA) was measured at Sarasota, Florida, on 4 February 2005 and found to have an under breast measurement of 91.44 cm (36 in) and an around chest-over-nipple measurement of 153.67 cm (60.5 in). She currently wears a US size 42M bra (UK 42J)
Well, that concludes the lesson for today. Ta-tas for now...