Skip to main content

Dani Dear Dani – A Roast by nonamedufus

Last week, a select group of folks from Humour Bloggers Dot Com were selected to "roast" their colleagues. My roastee was Dani C, she of Not An Effin Mom Blog fame. She's supposed to post this on her blog but as my laptop was biting the dust this week one of Dani's munchkins was pouring Hawiian Tropical Fruit Punch down her keyboard. So we'll post it here and hope Dani can get it up over there soon - uh, er, I didn't mean that how it sounds...

Question: What well-known blogger is sweet and demure, considerate and understated, diplomatic and refined?
Answer: Not you, Miss Crazy-Dani-Whack-Job-Not-A-Mommy-Blogger!

Oh, no, you’re anything butt, er, ah but... Why do I keep coming back to your blog? Am I a masochist? Do I love pain? Do I enjoy seeing pain bluntly inflicted upon others about as subtly as my dentist, Dr. Jeckyl, doing a root canal?

And who are you anyway? That kissy, smiley, pouty, smirky picture of you has me mesmerized (well the kissy part).

So you’re a nurse working nights married to a cop working days and yet you have SIX children. How did that happen? More to the point: when?! Well at least between the two of you, you’ll keep them on the straight and narrow and in blood and marrow (that’s the best rhyme I could think of).

So tell me, why’s your blog “not an effin mom blog”. Does that mean it’s (choose one):
- An ebbin flow blog
- An eggin us on blog
- An ellin Degeneres blog
- An emmin, el oh, pee blog
- A boy from eppin-ee-ma blog
- An essin em blog
Well in some respects this is an s&m blog – but let’s not go there! Instead let’s go to your “Mom’s That I Can’t Stand” series. Hey, Whack Job, who died and made you Joan Crawford?! (By the way I’ve got some pictures of my blinking baby picking his nose while doing little poopies that I’d just love to show you.)

And, like, why am I so preoccupied with your breasts? (Er, ah, oops, sorry, that should read why are YOU so preoccupied with your breasts.)

Finally, Whack-Dani, your momma should wash your keyboard out with soap (or fruit juice – ha!)! It’s “eff” this and “eff” that and “eff” off and “eff” you... here an eff there an eff everywhere an eff, eff. Why, you even encourage commenters to effin rant and you present the effin winner with an EFF YOU award. Wow, you’re pretty eff-usive with your effs. Just sayin’.

Well that about does it Dani. This roast is toast. I’ve gotta say in all seriousness that I actually love your “effin” blog. I think it may have sumpin’ to do with your charming self-defecating sense of humour (in other words: “shit, yer funny”). Gotta go. Got a root canal scheduled with Dr. Jeckyl.

Be sure and visit Dani at http://www.momscrazylife.com/

Comments

Quirkyloon said…
"eff-fusive"

Brilliant, no name! Just brilliant!

And Dani does most certainly rawk!
S & M blog. Don't worry Dani will go there if she's has already, you know? :)

Nice job on the roast. Saw it over at Dani's blog too.
ettarose said…
Good job no name! I really liked all the roasts that we have done. Dani must be so effin proud
Me-Me King said…
Oh, I love this and I love Dani's blog.

Very nice job.
nonamedufus said…
Quirky: Your pretty effusive yourself. Thanks. Yeah, her blog's a hoot. But then so's yours, literally.

UR: Glad you enjoyed it.

ettarose: Yeah, sje said she loved it, which makes me happy. This was a fun exercise.

Me-Me: Yeah, you walk a fine line when you try to roast someone who's blog you really admire. I'm glad it turned out well.
nonamedufus said…
Quirky: Your pretty effusive yourself. Thanks. Yeah, her blog's a hoot. But then so's yours, literally.

UR: Glad you enjoyed it.

ettarose: Yeah, sje said she loved it, which makes me happy. This was a fun exercise.

Me-Me: Yeah, you walk a fine line when you try to roast someone who's blog you really admire. I'm glad it turned out well.
Me-Me King said…
Oh, I love this and I love Dani's blog.

Very nice job.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - October

Well, folks, I read seven (count 'em) seven books in October. One I didn't finish but even at that I hit the magic number 50 I estimated for myself by the end of the year. The six books I successfully waded through were, firstly, What Happened, Hillary Clinton's book on her bid for the Presidency. I''m a bit of a political junkie so I get off on this stuff but still it kinda struck me as one long whine over losing.
Next up was the excellent Canyon of Dreams: The Magic and Music of Laurel Canyon. Laurel Canyon was the fabled area outside of Los Angeles where many musicians and artists lived. Known as a 60s enclave, the book takes a look at just who lived there over the last 80 years. A fascinating read.
Next up was Lightfoot, a biography of Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot. He may have been responsible for some iconic folk songs but he was also quite the womanizer and boozer. Enough said.
Then I read Dan Brown's new tome Origin, the fifth in the Robert Lan…

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on,

Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever.

I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read.

So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still have Decem…