Doggone You Computer

Shocking news out there this week. Computers have replaced dogs as man's best friend. A recent poll by YouGov has discovered almost two thirds - or 67% - of us consider our computers as a more constant companion than a dog.

How can this be?

Does a computer come running when you say "Here, boy!"

Does a computer run after a stick or a frisbee when you throw it?

Does a computer hang it's head out the window when you take it for a ride in the car?

Does a computer lick your face?

Does a computer run aimlessly around in circles when you get it's leash to take it for a walk?

If you said "yes" to any of the above questions then you're one sick puppy. A-ha! You see. "One sick PC" just doesn't work there does it.

And what about some of the wonderful characters portrayed by dogs? Lassie, for example. Timmy could hardly say "I've fallen down a well. Go get help PC."

Goofy, Precious Pup and Huckleberry Hound must be rolling in their dog graves. Not to mention Old Yeller, Rin Tin Tin, Bullet the Wonder Dog and here in Canada the Littlest Hobo.

And what of famous quotes about dogs. Look waht happens when you substitute "computer" for "dog" when you say things like:

If your computer is fat you aren' t getting enough exercise.

Some days you're the computer; some days you're the hydrant.

In computer years I'm dead.

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the computer did it.

Outside of a computer a book is man's best friend. Inside of a computer it's too dark to read.

You see, it just doesn't work.

There is an upside to all this, I'll reluctantly admit.

At least you don't have to clean up messes left by your computer.

You'll save a fortune on kibble.

And a computer will never sniff your crotch.