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A-Pickin' And A-Grinnin'

I'm a bit of a sports fanatic. Ask my wife. When the NFL season starts she calls herself the football widow. I enjoy watching hockey, although my team - the Senators - didn't make it very far into the post-season. I love basketball, although my Celtics lost to the Lakers in 7 games this year. I enjoy baseball. I like tennis and I'll watch soccer when there's nothing better to do.

Each of these sports have their own quirky activities. Take hockey. Players of this sport love to spit. They must build up a hell of a lot of mucus skating up and down the ice cause they're always spitting.



But hockey's long gone and baseball's in full swing (pun intended). They spit in baseball, too. Sunflower seeds, tobacco juice, and good old mucus build up. They also do something else in baseball. When players aren't slapping each other on the butt, they're grabbing themselves. Like this guy...


I'm not sure if this guy knows which hand the bat's in.

Remember when Roseanne Barr attempted to sing the national anthem at a game and got booed.  With good reason: she couldn't carry a bat, let a tune.  In response she gave the crowd a salute unique to baseball...


Then there's soccer.  From time to time the referee will award a team a free kick. When this happens the other team's defenders line up between the kicker and the goal and...yep, you guessed it.  They grab onto their privates...


You may not have known this but there's grabbing going on in tennis, too.  Oh yeah! The worst offender is Spain's Rafael Nadal.  Anyone who watches him regularly knows what I'm talking about.  He has a distinct routine when he serves that he follows each and every time.  He steps to the line pushes his hair back behind one ear, then the other and then he does this...



Personally, I think if he switched to boxers he wouldn't have this problem.  Just sayin'.

Comments

CatLadyLarew said…
Sports wedgies... yeah, we're all having a good time now!
nonamedufus said…
Boom-Boom: Glad I made your day!
Don said…
Baseball players used to wear enough hardware twixt the groin to set off an airport metal detector a mile away. I used to carry a load down there when I played. It's all in the name of protection and family jewels, and can still hurt if you get popped just right. The slider was always the most painful.
nonamedufus said…
Don: Let's face it, guys who play baseball just have to make "adjustments".
00dozo said…
Ha ha! The soccer 'grab'. It's funny to watch the players wince just as the ball is kicked.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: At the speed those soccer balls travel after being kicked they could do some permanent damage. It's no wonder those guys wince.
Anonymous said…
See? This is why I'm glad I'm no good at sports.

I don't want everybody watching me adjust my boob!

hee hee
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Yeah there's enough boobs in sports as it is already. ha,ha,ha
Leeuna said…
Hahaha. Poor guys. How uncomfortable that must be. It's probably like when our bras ride up, or our straps fall off the shoulder. (not that mine ever do that. Just saying)
nonamedufus said…
Leeuna: Must be. I can only imagine.
Ziva said…
If I were as good at chasing a ball as those soccer players are, I would grab my crotch in front of thousands of people too, just for the sake of it. Or perhaps a good nose picking might be more appropriate since I don't really have anything to grab down there..
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: Nose pickin'? Now there's one I didn't cover off...or blowing your nose without a kleenex...that's always a good one.
Guest said…
BTW, the baseball player grabbing his crotch is Jim Thome of the Cleveland Indians!

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