Bless You

Christmas eve! Where did the time go? And as we anticipate Christmas morning with packs of presents under the tree, family near, and a huge turkey dinner tomorrow night, tonight we - as the song goes - will fall asleep counting our blessings. Some of us. For others Christmas isn't all blessings.

Here are a few items that crossed my mind or my computer screen last week. And in the spirit of giving, I just thought I'd share them with you.

Now that I have an 52" HDTV, news networks run clips of reporters on broadband and Skype. What's up with that? I make a step forward. They take two back.

Italian PM Berlusconi was severely disfigured when a deranged man threw a small statue at him breaking his teeth and cutting his face. When hit with the mini-monument was Berlusconi heard to inquire, "Allo, statue?" (I know, bad, bad joke.)

An SUV recently crashed into the departures area at Vancouver International Airport. Talk about "checking in". The car, by the way, was a - wait for it - Honda Pilot!

ABBA was accepted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last week. They can keep them. Please don't let them out again.

A couple in Newcastle England were found to be in contravention of a municipal social order for having abnormally loud sex. Neighbours, passers-by and the postman, apparently, all heard the raucous romp and described it as "unnatural" and "like they are both in considerable pain". I guess the postman had to ring a lot  more than twice. 

An Irish couple have invented an environmentally-friendly vibrator. No batteries. You just wind it up and it provides "sustainable" pleasure for about 30 minutes. It's called the Earth Angel, measures about 8 inches and costs about $100. Not bad for something that never cheats, is always in the mood and is always 'up' to the task at hand.

And finally, what did the Hewlett-Packard computer technician say when he showed up to repair the camera on your laptop? "I see black people."

Have a good Christmas everyone, and be sure and mush on over to Humor Bloggers Dot Com to see what my blogger buddies are up to during the festive season.