Skip to main content

Bless You

Christmas eve! Where did the time go? And as we anticipate Christmas morning with packs of presents under the tree, family near, and a huge turkey dinner tomorrow night, tonight we - as the song goes - will fall asleep counting our blessings. Some of us. For others Christmas isn't all blessings.





Here are a few items that crossed my mind or my computer screen last week. And in the spirit of giving, I just thought I'd share them with you.


Now that I have an 52" HDTV, news networks run clips of reporters on broadband and Skype. What's up with that? I make a step forward. They take two back.


Italian PM Berlusconi was severely disfigured when a deranged man threw a small statue at him breaking his teeth and cutting his face. When hit with the mini-monument was Berlusconi heard to inquire, "Allo, statue?" (I know, bad, bad joke.)


An SUV recently crashed into the departures area at Vancouver International Airport. Talk about "checking in". The car, by the way, was a - wait for it - Honda Pilot!


ABBA was accepted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last week. They can keep them. Please don't let them out again.


A couple in Newcastle England were found to be in contravention of a municipal social order for having abnormally loud sex. Neighbours, passers-by and the postman, apparently, all heard the raucous romp and described it as "unnatural" and "like they are both in considerable pain". I guess the postman had to ring a lot  more than twice. 


An Irish couple have invented an environmentally-friendly vibrator. No batteries. You just wind it up and it provides "sustainable" pleasure for about 30 minutes. It's called the Earth Angel, measures about 8 inches and costs about $100. Not bad for something that never cheats, is always in the mood and is always 'up' to the task at hand.


And finally, what did the Hewlett-Packard computer technician say when he showed up to repair the camera on your laptop? "I see black people."


Have a good Christmas everyone, and be sure and mush on over to Humor Bloggers Dot Com to see what my blogger buddies are up to during the festive season.

Comments

CatLadyLarew said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
CatLadyLarew said…
Do you suppose there's still time to ask Santa for an Earth Angel for Christmas? (Or I'd settle for an un-dented Honda Pilot.)

Thanks for all the LOLs this past year! Wishing you the happiest of holidays!
Quirkyloon said…
Those are great LOL funnies. I really liked the Santa/antidote one.

Don't know why. That guy's never been bad to me.

Guess I'm a naughty Quirks! hee hee

Merry Christmas Nomie!
injaynesworld said…
Skype -- a way of putting camera crew people out of work and squeezing a few more pennies into corporate coffers.

Well, wasn't that just a little "ho, ho, ho" of Christmas joy, Jayne."

May your days be merry and bright, Dufus.

And please don't kill Santa, Timmy.
nonamedufus said…
Cat Lady: I don't know about the device but I could sing you the song. All the best in the new year.
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Merry Christmas to you too. All the best for 2010.
nonamedufus said…
Jayne: You're absolutely right. But of course you are. And Mary is quite bright, too. Merry Christmas.
Don said…
Boy have I grown up! I used to act similarly to the little heathen putting the poison in the milk. Now I take an interest in an environmentally friendly friend.
nonamedufus said…
Don: Olive, the other reindeer? Merry Christmas my friend.
Mr. Knucklehead said…
Love the cartoon!

Merry Christmas, Dufus.
nonamedufus said…
Knucklehead: And the same to you my friend.
I couldn't agree more with you about ABBA. How did they get famous, anyway? Incredible!

Merry Christmas, NoName!
nonamedufus said…
Mike: Abba Dabba don't! Merry Christmas to you too.
injaynesworld said…
Skype -- a way of putting camera crew people out of work and squeezing a few more pennies into corporate coffers.

Well, wasn't that just a little "ho, ho, ho" of Christmas joy, Jayne."

May your days be merry and bright, Dufus.

And please don't kill Santa, Timmy.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.


"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise
T…