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Weapons Of Ass Destruction

So, like, I'm surfing the web-thingy yesterday in search of an idea for today's post and I stumble across the hot sauce emporium of the internet - "since 1995" - a place called Hot

Now, me, I'm a Tobasco sauce kinda guy. Not overly adventurous but I like to spice things up a little from time to time.  But about as fas as I'll go is maybe the extra spicy salsa with my nachos. And even at that there better be a glass of water or better yet a Corona nearby to counter the effects.

But I'm probably a 5 on the hot sauce scale of 100. Now the internet emporium of hot sauces on the other hand would seem to start at 50 and with a choice of over 120 different sauces quickly make their way to 100.  They call their customers chili heads, appropriately enough, and promise to take their taste buds to a whole new heat level. It's funny though a lot of people's taste buds appear to be up their rectum. You wouldn't believe the number of sauces with "ass" or a derivative in the title.  And yes, my title - Weapons Of Ass Destruction - is one of the sauces. Here are some others...

Anal Angst Hot Sauce
Ass Blaster Hot Sauce
Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce
Baboon Ass Gone Rabid Hot Sauce
Brand New Asshole Hot Sauce
Butt Pucker Hot Sauce
Colon Blow Red Habenaro
Colon Cleaner
Flamin' Flatulence X-Hot Hot Sauce
Hemorrhoid Helper Burns Both Ways Hot Sauce
Kiss Your Ass Goodbye Hot Sauce
Queen of Farts Hot Sauce
Screaming Sphincter Cayenne Pepper Sauce
Smack My Ass And Call Me Sally Hot Sauce
Wet Fart XX Hot With Pooh Sauce

That last one sounds particularly appetizing.  I wonder how often hot sauce aficionados have to change their underwear?

I'm wondering too, though, if it brings tears to people's eyes to eat this stuff...or simply just read the labels.


Anonymous said…
Ha! Funny Mr. Nomesters!

And are you sure that I wasn't the inspiration behind (pun intended) this post?

I am Queen of Farts and I loves me some weapons of ass destruction.

Just assk (hee hee) my family.
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Ok, I confess, you were my inspiration. I ass-pire to be like you. You must save a bundle on heating costs in the winter, huh?
Don said…
I get a hot sauce catalog via mail, and let me tell you, sauces aren't the only thing hot you can buy.
I love spicy hot foods. I put Datil or Habanero sauce on eggs for crying out loud.
Love that stuff!!!
nonamedufus said…
Don: You're a braver man than me Don. Any undesired after-affects?
00dozo said…
I never understood the attraction to eating really spicy foods - you can't taste the food at all (or, at least I can't), and, whoa, the after effects! Based on your scale, I'm a wimpy 3.
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: I'm with you. From time to time I'll do Indian or Mexican food and they can be a little spicy. But to go the hot sauce route. Talk about ripping yourself a new one! That's just a death wish.
Kelly said…
If I were to start my own hot sauce, it would be named, "Rectal Fury Sauce." Because I'm not a punny gal. Glad to see you back.
CatLadyLarew said…
Anal Angst... that one works for me!
nonamedufus said…
Kelly: Thanks, good to be back. Rectal Fury Sauce...hmmm, is that a hot sauce? Pass the imodium.
nonamedufus said…
CL: They'd all work for me. But do I really want them to is the question.
Leeuna said…
I don't hot sauces at all and my idea of spicy is a tad of black pepper. I have very wimpy taste buds.

Love your blog's new look.
nonamedufus said…
Leeuna: I'm not too far beyond black pepper myself. Glad you like the look.
Ziva said…
I particularly like the Screaming Sphincter Cayenne Pepper Sauce one. Simply fantasstic. I mean, I wouldn't eat it or anything, but I would definitely look at it and consider having a taste.
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: Not me. I'm not gonna be the guinea pig that tests to see if it works as advertised! Let me know, eh?
Awesome --- ass blaster sauce --- gotta get that for my mother in law, just to see her face!!!

One time, not at band camp, I tried a sauces called Kick Yo Ass Hot

It felt like I was getting frenched by Lucifer, hiself.
nonamedufus said…
Brahm: The old hot sauce for the mother-in-law trick. I love it! Then you'd actually be able to say your mother-in-law's hot!
nonamedufus said…
Rene: Yow! Now that's hot. I hope he bought you dinner first.
Janna said…
ROFL! I love the names!
Anal Angst, Queen Of Farts, Colon Blow...
If only they would buy ads in Time Magazine or Reader's Digest!

I love hot things.
The hotter the better.

And now I totally want to call myself the Queen Of Farts.
There are a few family members that probably call me that behind my back anyway.

Which makes sense, because it's the most noticeable when you're behind my back.
nonamedufus said…
Janna: I though you'd like this. By the way, you have got to be one of the funniest people I know! Hey, turn around and look at me when we're talking!!!
Leeuna said…
I don't hot sauces at all and my idea of spicy is a tad of black pepper. I have very wimpy taste buds.

Love your blog's new look.

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