Skip to main content

Summer Camp Survival Guide

It's Day 4 of camp over at the interweb's comedy motherhouse Humor Bloggers Dot Com. Tuesday I participated in Campfire Sing Along Day. Today it's "Survival Day" and Head Camp Boob-Pah...er, ah...Poo-Bah Thinkinfyou has appointed Red Raider from Beyond Left Field to coordinate our survival efforts.

So, Red, here's how our little charges should handle themselves - and why - if they want to make it out alive...

1. Get your mom to sew labels with name and phone number in all clothes, particularly underwear...campers will change underwear every day - Tommy will change his with Billy, Billy with Harry, etc., and you'll want to get your own back at the end of the session before you go home.
2. Pack nutritious snack items, fruit and fruit juice boxes...because you won't find any nutritious meals at camp. We serve the blah-est and tasteless looking goopy slop you've ever seen. So if you wanna still be standing when camp's done, bring your own nutritious stuff.
3. Bring sunscreen and sun tan lotion...unless you live in eastern Canada or the northeast United States where these items may be substituted for rubber boots, raincoats and sou' wester hats (i.e. the garments worn on The Deadliest Catch). They've seen so much rain and so little sunshine for so long...how long is it?...its been so long moss has started to grow in their armpits.

4. Swimming is a daily activity so bring at least 2 swimsuits...unless you live in eastern Canada or the northeast United States, then see #3.


5. Pack plenty of cash or a 40 ouncer of Canadian Club...Counselor Raider can be bribed. He might just remember where he hid the outhouse key if appropriately compensated or lubricated.

And thus endeth the lesson of how to survive Camp Humor Blogger Dot Com! Thank God its only virtual.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thank you for sharing your words of summer camp wisdom. Liquor,must not forget the liquor!!
Anonymous said…
You and Red make me sooo grateful that we were too poor to send me off to Summer Camp!

hee hee
kathcom said…
Alcohol! If I'd ever been allowed to go to camp growing up, I would have definitely brought that.
Nooter said…
snaks! if id ever been allowed to go to camp growing up, I would have definitely brought that.
Anonymous said…
It also helps to have a stash of weed somewhere. You never know when that will come in handy.

And, if the movies have taught me anything, condoms too.
So THAT'S why your supposed to put labels in your underwear. I always wondered.
nonamedufus said…
thinkinfyou: Candy's dandy but... hey TFU what a great job you've done coordinating camp week at HBDC. Great job!

Quirks: aw, I bet you doulda gone to Zombie camp if there was one.

katchcom: Not for the kids, for the counselors!

Nooter: I don't think they have "snausages".

FTU: The only pot they had when I was a kid was one to pee in.

CatLady: Saves on laundry bills.
So no Canadian Club for the campers?! Awwwwwww! I was so look forwarding to that.
Donnie said…
Liquor is part of a proper first aid kit. Should one of the campers get hurt then I can get tipsy. It makes ignoring them much easier.
nonamedufus said…
UR: Nope, it's a camp for tiny teetotallers not tipsy teens.

Red: Hey there Survivor Day counselor. One of the brats asked me if you were on camp kitchen duty. I said, "I don't thinks so. Whisk he won't."
Anonymous said…
How funny - I'm a camp counselor, will be leaving for camp soon myself. You're right about the food. And I like the swimsuit idea, too. Last year they took mine of the line I'd strung up and I had to climb a tree to get it off of a limb. Luckily, I still have summa my ninja skillz ;-)

Ms. 30-something.
nonamedufus said…
Ms 30?: That's better than my story! Wish I had have seen that.
ReformingGeek said…
Can I bring my light saber and my flute?

I like the underwear exchange.....for the guys, that is!
Mike said…
Trading underwear without turning it inside out first is gross dood.
nonamedufus said…
Reforming Geek: Light saber and flute? Hmmm...

Mike: Ya turn it inside out on the 3rd day. Lasts longer that way.
Anonymous said…
A little off topic, Guys... I have a question. Today I saw this site:
[url=http://www.rivalspot.com]Rivalspot.com - Wii Live Tournaments[/url]
They say you can play online sports game tournaments on any console for cash... had anyone tried that before? Looks like a cool idea...
Are there any other sites where you can play sports games for real moneys? I Googled and found only Bringit.com and Worldgaming.com but it looks these guys don't specialize in sport gamez. Any suggestions?
Anonymous said…
A little off topic, Guys... I have a question. Last week I looked at this site:
[url=http://www.rivalspot.com]Rivalspot.com - Xbox Live Tournaments[/url]
They say you can play online Madden game tournaments on any console for cash... had anyone tried that before? Looks like a cool idea...
Are there any other sites where you can play sports games for real moneys? I Googled and found only Bringit.com and Worldgaming.com but it looks these guys don't specialize in sport gamez. Any suggestions?

Popular posts from this blog

Twittercide is Painless

Hey, don't forget to stop by my caption contest - Pause, Ponder and Pun - and leave a caption. You might win exciting prizes. Well, no prizes really but significant web cred to have been awarded the I Be Hangin' With Dufus citation. Oh yeah, baby! Meanwhile on with today's post...

The debate on the positive versus negative impacts of social media networking continues, this time around the Catholic Church has waded in.

Me? In addition to having friends in the real world, I find such social media as Twitter, Facebook and my blog an interesting way to interact with new people across all social strata, age groups and geographic locations. Indeed, I think it's the technological equivalent of Walt Disney's philosophy: It's A Small World, After All. (I stress philosophy and not that annoying theme park song)





Couldn't watch it all, could you? But I digress...


I thought the Catholic Church ran out of feet to stand on a long time ago. But apparently it has as many feet…

Exercising My Rights (And My Lefts)

I confess, I'm not the most energetic of people. After all I'm a guy whose Facebook status reads "I'm not lazy. I'm just energy efficient". In fact, few people know but if you look up couch potato in the dictionary it has my picture.

At my house, we're so lazy even my cat is a couch potato.

But I've decided it's high time to do something about it. I've decided to undertake cross-country skiing. And, speaking of which, after our little session this morning, an undertake-r is something I could have really used. We're quite fortunate where we live. The ski trails are a five-minute walk (more exercise!). But miracle of miracles, I stayed upright the whole time. Putting the skis on was interesting.
"You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out..."
The trail itself was gorgeous, with hardly anyone else out at 9:30 in the morning. Which worked out fine for me. I didn't have to pull over to let faster skiers (read: everyone e…

30 Days of Photos - #4 - The Experiment

If you expected to find Pause Ponder and Pun here don't worry. You can still leave a caption on this week's pic over at dufus daze while we run 30 Days of Photos on my main blog...
****
Welcome to 30 Days of Photos, where 18 bloggers are participating in posting a photo a day for 30 days. Here are the other 17 you can visit after you've been here:
ZivaMikeNicky & MikeMoMeleahBryanMariannMalissaNoraLaughing MomTanyaElizabeth00dozoCherylKristenPam andKatherine


Here's something unusual for an urban centre. In the heart of Canada's capital is a huge block of open land (400 hectares) called The Central Experimental Farm. It was established in 1886 (thats a long time for an "experiment") as the central research station for the federal Department of Agriculture. When I first entered the public service in the mid 80s (that's the 1990s) I worked at Agriculture in the Sir John Carling Building located on the farm.

Cutting through th…