Skip to main content

Under Where?

In Berlin, Germany police recently nabbed a kinky crook. Reuters reported earlier this week that police arrested a 46 year old man caught nicking 3 pairs of knickers from a sports store and uncovered over 1,000 pairs of underwear and more than 100 pairs of swimming trunks at the home of this wannabe Calvin Klein.

I guess you could say that after pooling their resources police nabbed the swimwear thief.

If he hid the swim suits in trees you might say police discovered trunks.
If he hid the underwear in a tree did he get his panties in a knot?

If it didn't take police long to solve the crime, you could say he was arrested after a brief investigation.
If the thief was a drunk Caucasian, you could say police detained a tighty whitie.

Upon searching his house I wonder if police discovered what was in his drawers.

Maybe after an initial investigation police came up shorts.
Nevertheless they got him in the end.

If he was gay with an underwear fetish he might have been a fruit of the loom.
If he was a tall pirate with an everyday name would police refer to him as Long John?

If he was a pugilist and he escaped from jail, would police be on the lookout for a missing boxer?

Did they catch him under there? Under where?

Maybe police were alerted by his loud voice. You know, perhapth he wath thinging a thong.

He and his buddies weren't always criminals. In fact, you might say they were late bloomers.

Was this underwear collector guy effeminate? You know, a real pantywaist?

If he escaped on a horse did his pursuers jockey for position?

If it was a pursuit did police catch him on the fly?

Perhaps police nabbed the man after a lengthy foot race because he couldn't catch his breath in short pants.

Perhaps, perhaps not. It all depends.


Don said…
Damn. I didn't know that a pair (?) of underwear had so many parts and types. BTW, why is a "pair" just one?
Boy he had balls...
nonamedufus said…
Don: Balls indeed, a pair of 'em, which is why he musta needed so much support!
Anonymous said…

I'm impressed.

Ms. Thirty something
nonamedufus said…
Ms 30? Impressed? No I think they were just washed, dried and folded.
Anonymous said…
See, you're good. I tried to think of a way to spin that into a pun, but it just wouldn't come. :-)

Ms. 30+ several ones
nonamedufus said…
Ms 30?: Yeah I'm pretty sure they used the spin cycle.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on,

Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever.

I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read.

So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still have Decem…

My Back Pages - October

Well, folks, I read seven (count 'em) seven books in October. One I didn't finish but even at that I hit the magic number 50 I estimated for myself by the end of the year. The six books I successfully waded through were, firstly, What Happened, Hillary Clinton's book on her bid for the Presidency. I''m a bit of a political junkie so I get off on this stuff but still it kinda struck me as one long whine over losing.
Next up was the excellent Canyon of Dreams: The Magic and Music of Laurel Canyon. Laurel Canyon was the fabled area outside of Los Angeles where many musicians and artists lived. Known as a 60s enclave, the book takes a look at just who lived there over the last 80 years. A fascinating read.
Next up was Lightfoot, a biography of Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot. He may have been responsible for some iconic folk songs but he was also quite the womanizer and boozer. Enough said.
Then I read Dan Brown's new tome Origin, the fifth in the Robert Lan…