Skip to main content

Sometimes Relationships Can Be Complicated

Women. Sometimes you can't live with them. And sometimes you can't live with them. Don't get me wrong. I love my wife. Madly. And I simply can't live without her. But if I were to believe everything I read I'd think women shall I put this? Flighty?

Two articles I came across last week gave me pause. And good thing for me that anything that gives me pause usually ends up in a post on my blog.

And men, consider this a public service. Oh, yes, I'm more than happy to share with you helpful hints I've found to make your lives, no, no strike that...make your relationships more rewarding.

The first article was headlined "Women think blokes who are 'too nice' are cheating". Now c'mon. Get real. But no. A study found that two thirds of women surveyed became suspicious if their partner made grand romantic gestures. What kind of gestures? Well, here are the top 20:

1.            Buys jewellery
2.            New moves in the bedroom
3.            More emotional
4.            Buys flowers
5.            Buys chocolates
6.            More attentive
7.            Buys sexy underwear
8.            Book a romantic weekend away
9.            Buys you more things
10.          Helps more with the chores
11.          Tells you he loves you more
12.          Makes breakfast in bed
13.          Pays more compliments
14.          Texts more
15.          Does the cooking
16.          Calls more
17.          Listens better
18.          Runs baths
19.          Hand over the TV remote
20.          Cuddles more
Don't worry, honey. I've been warned. As much as I'd dearly love it, you'll never catch me doing any of these things. I know I used to. And I actually did more than one a day sometimes. But I shouldn't anymore for fear of giving you the wrong idea. I'm sure you understand. Far be it from me to give you the impression I've been cheating. I'll just keep on watching TV in my underwear while cracking open a couple of cold ones you've brought me. What's for supper?

But wait. There was another article I came across that made me pause. Yeah. This one involved a covert study of parking lots across Britain. Yeah, that's right. "Covert". Using hidden cameras, researchers determined that women were far better at parking than their male counterparts. Well that makes sense. They should be good at parking because most of them certainly don't now how to drive!

Woah, woah, woah. That's not my opinion. No, I saw it on the internet.

You can bet none of these women will be on the receiving end of jewelry, chocolates, flowers or new moves in the bedroom from their husbands.


I can't wait until a few women read this to see their opinions. As for me, naturally being a man, I love it! Keep up the good work, Noname :).
nonamedufus said…
What? I'd just hate to give women the wrong idea.
Quirky Loon said…

Somebody must be upset that the Giants won yesterday.


nonamedufus said…
The Giants are a bunch of girls. How the hell did they win? And now somebody'll probably be giving them chocolates and flowers. Although, I'm not sure about trying something new in the bedroom.
nonamedufus said…
The Giants are a bunch of girls. How the hell did they win? And now somebody'll probably be giving them chocolates and flowers. Although, I'm not sure about trying something new in the bedroom.
Linda Medrano said…
My husband has always done all that stuff. He's cheating, hmm? Whatever.

He has put a dent in the new car already. Backed into a post. Hmmm.

I'm glad the Giants won! You don't like them? Hmmm.

(Brits say "hmmm" a lot.)
nonamedufus said…
I've been doing all that stuff too. But now I just don't want to give Mrs. D the wrong idea, you know?

The Giants? Hell, I lost interest when the Packers lost. Hmmm.
Juneohara65 said…
Funny, I always say, "Men. Can't live with them, can't live with them." Anyway, while you're downing beers in your underwear watching tv, make sure you belch a lot. Loudly. That'll further your cause.
nonamedufus said…
Hey, that's not nice. Sure, and you're probably the kind of woman who thinks all dumb-blonde jokes are one liners so men can understand them too.
Michael Wolfe said…
I told you if we let them vote, they would inevitably want to drive.

But you wouldn't listen.
Nicky said…
You know, I think Mrs. D needs to start a blog. Somehow, I think we'd get a very different view of life Chez Dufus.
Boom Boom Larew said…
Damn... if my ex had done some of the things on this list, we might still be married. (And for the record... he couldn't park, either.) Keep doing what you're doing, Dufus and all will be well!
nonamedufus said…
When will I ever learn? But they promised sex!
nonamedufus said…
Sounds like a lot of work. are you sure she won't get the wrong idea?
Nicky said…
Hey! My comment disappeared!! What's up with that? Stupid Disqus!! It never even bought me flowers or chocolates and it's already abandoned my comments for others!

You know, Pickles, you talk a good game but I'd really like to hear what Mrs. D has to say about all this. :-)
nonamedufus said…
DISQUS can be like that. You know, Cheese Chick, Mrs D won't be commenting. You see she's at a loss for words. I got her a chain saw as an early Valentine's Day present. We're low on chopped fire wood. I'm quite a guy, eh?
Ziva said…
Well shit. M's clearly cheating on me.
nonamedufus said…
Sorry you had to hear it from me, Ziva.
Brett Minor said…
It is hard to know what they want. I was taught to open car doors for my woman and pull out chairs, but found that many women are offended by that. So, I changed it. Then, I was perceived as not being a gentleman. After years of being confused and trying to 'do the right thing,' I eventually decided the best bet was to be me, do what I thought was right and respectful and wait for the woman that appreciates it and wants to be with a man like that.

It saved me a lot of grief.
nonamedufus said…
Tell me about it, Bret. Your approach is to be commended and sounds a little like the Man Prayer of Red Green: "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."
Shawn said…
I made breakfast in bed once.
I spilled the pancake batter all over the sheets.
Vaguemax said…
Would have been nice to know yesterday. I booked a B&B that is putting a rose and chocolate on the bed, has a small kitchen for me to make breakfast. I got her a ring this morning, and went to Victoria's secret. Basically I'm hitting 13 of the list this weekend. Wish me luck..
meleahrebeccah said…
Well since I am single I never have to worry about being cheated on!
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, I was thinking that if you want to light up your love life and heat up things in the bedroom you could try a flambé in bed. Might be disastrous though.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, geez, is it too late to cancel?
nonamedufus said…
Heck, Meleah, you're no fun.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.


Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais


The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.

"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise