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Sometimes Relationships Can Be Complicated

Women. Sometimes you can't live with them. And sometimes you can't live with them. Don't get me wrong. I love my wife. Madly. And I simply can't live without her. But if I were to believe everything I read I'd think women shall I put this? Flighty?

Two articles I came across last week gave me pause. And good thing for me that anything that gives me pause usually ends up in a post on my blog.

And men, consider this a public service. Oh, yes, I'm more than happy to share with you helpful hints I've found to make your lives, no, no strike that...make your relationships more rewarding.

The first article was headlined "Women think blokes who are 'too nice' are cheating". Now c'mon. Get real. But no. A study found that two thirds of women surveyed became suspicious if their partner made grand romantic gestures. What kind of gestures? Well, here are the top 20:

1.            Buys jewellery
2.            New moves in the bedroom
3.            More emotional
4.            Buys flowers
5.            Buys chocolates
6.            More attentive
7.            Buys sexy underwear
8.            Book a romantic weekend away
9.            Buys you more things
10.          Helps more with the chores
11.          Tells you he loves you more
12.          Makes breakfast in bed
13.          Pays more compliments
14.          Texts more
15.          Does the cooking
16.          Calls more
17.          Listens better
18.          Runs baths
19.          Hand over the TV remote
20.          Cuddles more
Don't worry, honey. I've been warned. As much as I'd dearly love it, you'll never catch me doing any of these things. I know I used to. And I actually did more than one a day sometimes. But I shouldn't anymore for fear of giving you the wrong idea. I'm sure you understand. Far be it from me to give you the impression I've been cheating. I'll just keep on watching TV in my underwear while cracking open a couple of cold ones you've brought me. What's for supper?

But wait. There was another article I came across that made me pause. Yeah. This one involved a covert study of parking lots across Britain. Yeah, that's right. "Covert". Using hidden cameras, researchers determined that women were far better at parking than their male counterparts. Well that makes sense. They should be good at parking because most of them certainly don't now how to drive!

Woah, woah, woah. That's not my opinion. No, I saw it on the internet.

You can bet none of these women will be on the receiving end of jewelry, chocolates, flowers or new moves in the bedroom from their husbands.


I can't wait until a few women read this to see their opinions. As for me, naturally being a man, I love it! Keep up the good work, Noname :).
nonamedufus said…
What? I'd just hate to give women the wrong idea.
Quirky Loon said…

Somebody must be upset that the Giants won yesterday.


nonamedufus said…
The Giants are a bunch of girls. How the hell did they win? And now somebody'll probably be giving them chocolates and flowers. Although, I'm not sure about trying something new in the bedroom.
nonamedufus said…
The Giants are a bunch of girls. How the hell did they win? And now somebody'll probably be giving them chocolates and flowers. Although, I'm not sure about trying something new in the bedroom.
Linda Medrano said…
My husband has always done all that stuff. He's cheating, hmm? Whatever.

He has put a dent in the new car already. Backed into a post. Hmmm.

I'm glad the Giants won! You don't like them? Hmmm.

(Brits say "hmmm" a lot.)
nonamedufus said…
I've been doing all that stuff too. But now I just don't want to give Mrs. D the wrong idea, you know?

The Giants? Hell, I lost interest when the Packers lost. Hmmm.
Juneohara65 said…
Funny, I always say, "Men. Can't live with them, can't live with them." Anyway, while you're downing beers in your underwear watching tv, make sure you belch a lot. Loudly. That'll further your cause.
nonamedufus said…
Hey, that's not nice. Sure, and you're probably the kind of woman who thinks all dumb-blonde jokes are one liners so men can understand them too.
Michael Wolfe said…
I told you if we let them vote, they would inevitably want to drive.

But you wouldn't listen.
Nicky said…
You know, I think Mrs. D needs to start a blog. Somehow, I think we'd get a very different view of life Chez Dufus.
Boom Boom Larew said…
Damn... if my ex had done some of the things on this list, we might still be married. (And for the record... he couldn't park, either.) Keep doing what you're doing, Dufus and all will be well!
nonamedufus said…
When will I ever learn? But they promised sex!
nonamedufus said…
Sounds like a lot of work. are you sure she won't get the wrong idea?
Nicky said…
Hey! My comment disappeared!! What's up with that? Stupid Disqus!! It never even bought me flowers or chocolates and it's already abandoned my comments for others!

You know, Pickles, you talk a good game but I'd really like to hear what Mrs. D has to say about all this. :-)
nonamedufus said…
DISQUS can be like that. You know, Cheese Chick, Mrs D won't be commenting. You see she's at a loss for words. I got her a chain saw as an early Valentine's Day present. We're low on chopped fire wood. I'm quite a guy, eh?
Ziva said…
Well shit. M's clearly cheating on me.
nonamedufus said…
Sorry you had to hear it from me, Ziva.
Brett Minor said…
It is hard to know what they want. I was taught to open car doors for my woman and pull out chairs, but found that many women are offended by that. So, I changed it. Then, I was perceived as not being a gentleman. After years of being confused and trying to 'do the right thing,' I eventually decided the best bet was to be me, do what I thought was right and respectful and wait for the woman that appreciates it and wants to be with a man like that.

It saved me a lot of grief.
nonamedufus said…
Tell me about it, Bret. Your approach is to be commended and sounds a little like the Man Prayer of Red Green: "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."
Shawn said…
I made breakfast in bed once.
I spilled the pancake batter all over the sheets.
Vaguemax said…
Would have been nice to know yesterday. I booked a B&B that is putting a rose and chocolate on the bed, has a small kitchen for me to make breakfast. I got her a ring this morning, and went to Victoria's secret. Basically I'm hitting 13 of the list this weekend. Wish me luck..
meleahrebeccah said…
Well since I am single I never have to worry about being cheated on!
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, I was thinking that if you want to light up your love life and heat up things in the bedroom you could try a flambé in bed. Might be disastrous though.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, geez, is it too late to cancel?
nonamedufus said…
Heck, Meleah, you're no fun.

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