It's All About Me!

I'm facing a dilemma. (That's dilemma, not dill enema.) My darling wife doesn't want to do anything special for Valentine's Day. I asked her if she'd like to go out for dinner. Thoughtful, right? Actually a tapas restaurant sent me an e-mail suggesting I make a reservation for Valentine's. Some years I'll completely forget about the day of love until it's too late. Thanks to that tapas restaurant, though, this year I was way ahead of myself. But no, my beloved isn't interested in going out.

Okay. So I'll save some money on skipping a romantic dinner. And besides, when you think about it what is Valentine's Day all about anyway. The guy - or guys - it was named after was killed. Yep. There were 3 guys all named Valentine and they were martyred. So, like, we're celebrating their deaths? No, well, history tells us one of them started this whole lovey-dovey day business by sending his jailer's daughter a note - now get this - "from your Valentine". Clever, right? It didn't go over very well with the girl's father, though. No. It all ended rather badly. Surprising how far one has to go to be considered a saint.

Over the years this guy's death, and that of his namesakes, has made Hallmark, Cadbury and FTD all filthy rich. That's right. Every year, the entire guy population around the world spend their hard earned money on cards, chocolates and flowers. All in the name of love. Ha! All in the name of guilt, I say. They're worried that if they don't buy these gifts to demonstrate their undying love - their attestations of amour, if you will - their wives, girlfriends and significant others will be hurt. And where will that lead? No sex for you!

No fear of that in my house. That's because I show my love everyday in every way. Well that's it, isn't it? Why else would my wife want to skip a fancy dinner?

I know. I know.

Because I'm so romantic the other 364 days of the year, she wants to spend a quiet evening at home with me where she's going to shower me with affection and love and a whole bunch of other stuff I won't mention here. That's it, right? Now it's going to be my turn, huh?

Hey. A guy can dream can't he?

Happy Valentine's Day, honey.