Well it's been five weeks since I've seen her; since I felt her soft caresses on my body; felt her warmth next to me; experienced her suppleness and flexibility; let myself simply relax in her firm embrace. But I'm back, baby. And, boy, did I ever miss my couch.
Let me tell you five weeks of intensive golf playing for a neophyte such as me has resulted in pain and fatigue in parts of my body I never knew existed. And that last week with my brothers Whitey - Sir Punsalot - and Killer - Sir Drinksalot - really put me over the top. We played 18 holes a day followed by 18 bottles a day. At that pace I'm kinda happy it was just a week. Not only is my body bent out of shape but my liver's crying "mercy".
But it's nice to get back to reality (he tries to convince himself). This morning I powered up the MacBook to see what was happening in the world, and I must say I wasn't disappointed.
First I see where a 33 year old woman in Buenos Aires took a 23 storey dive off a hotel balcony and landed on a cab...and lived. That's gotta be a first. Usually you can never find a cab when you need one.
Then I read an article about WalMart coming out with a cosmetic line for 8 year olds - make-up and anti-aging goodies such as liptstick, eyeliner, cleansers, exfoliates and the like. Just what the world needs: tween tramps.
And finally I came across a story about a 65 year-old woman in South Carolina who hung her nephew's dog with an extension cord and then set it on fire. Why? Because she said it was a devil dog after it chewed on her bible. Boy, if that's what she did to a dog, I'd sure hate to be the Jehovah's Witness rep in her neighbourhood.
Funny, eh? I leave the country for 5 weeks and when I get back what's changed? Not much. I've still got plenty of material it seems to keep this blog a growing concern.
I'll be around to visit you guys soon.