nonamedufus

I love my wife.  Very much.  And like most couples we try to share things 50-50.  Okay, okay.  I admit it.  Not all things.  Well, maybe not most things.  But a bunch of things.  One of those things we don't share, though, she has the edge.  Or maybe I should say rim.  Or seat to be more precise. Yeah, that's right.  I've now raised (pun intended) one of the most taboo subjects known to man and marriage -- the toilet seat. Why is it that the guy is in the wrong when he leaves the toilet seat up after doing his business?  Huh?  Why isn't the woman in the wrong for leaving it down?  You know, guys?  Yeah, I mean, then we have to go in and lift the seat so we don't pee on the friggin' thing.  Shouldn't the woman lift the seat when she's done doing her business so she won't have to worry about cleaning up after us? Why is it the guy has to lower the seat for the woman and not the other way around?  ...

When we ran this feature last week, the issue of airport security was the big news story.  Guess what?  It's still making headlines, not to mention the subject of editorial cartoons.  Enjoy.

Given the headlines last week, I was sure someone was going to make some reference to new airport security screening methods with a caption like, oh, I don't know... Bill and Bob, members of the Blue Bird Nudist Society, certainly had no qualms with the new security measures at Detroit airport. But no, our contestants went in a different direction and the competition was stiff.  For example, VE 's entry was: It took months for the Darwen brothers to realize their act would be much more successful with the ladies if they used top hats. lotgk came up with: First two drop outs of the Tareq and Michaele Salahi gate crashers seminar. But it was Freak Smack who won the day with: Just as the Johnson Brothers were about to finish their rendition of the striptease from The Full Monty, the crowd begged, "Please, leave your hats on!" Congratulations Freak Smack.  You be hangin' with Nonamedufus this week.

Living close to the United States, Canadians are bombarded daily by American cultural and social influences.  Even their politics and financial policies affect us.  But we don't really mind.  We actually like Americans...most of them...and are often able to laugh at the relationship and at ourselves. It is this self-deprecating sense of humour that came into play in 2000 when Canadian brewery Molson devised a television commercial for one of its beers, Canadian .  It was perhaps one of the most popular ads ever run on Canadian television.  Created by the ad agency Bensimon Byrne, "The Rant" ran for 5 years. The ad was so popular it spawned regional parodies.  One of the funniest of these was "I Am Not Canadian" from Quebec.  If Canadians as a whole think they're distinct from Americans, then I Am Not Canadian simply explains how different les Quebecois are from the rest of us. On one of his appearances at the world-famous Just For Laughs ...

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...

These guys must play hockey, 'cause that's some hat trick!  Leave your caption in the comments and we'll see you Sunday when we'll um, er, unveil the winner. Oh, hey, and a shout out today to my fellow Wednesday caption contest companion MadMadMargo . Margo's a big fan of my music blog, dufusdownbeat , and leaves me comments almost on a daily basis.  We have a great time discussing rock and roll there.  Well over at her place on Monday, Margo wrote a really nice piece about the blog and bumped up my followers and commenters.  Thanks Margo and thanks to all those that dropped by.  It's only rock and roll...but I'm glad you like it.

Orlando breaks out...the ball is brought up the right side of the court...a pass to the left...uh, oh...a Laker guard draws his magnum and demands the ball be handed over...wait a minute...the Orlando center has just pulled a sawed-off shotgun and threatened to blow the Laker player away unless he gives back the ball... You laugh, but given events of a couple of weeks ago that only just came to light, this type of thing may come to pass.  It seems two members of the Washington Wizards basketball team called each other out in the team's dressing room, arguing over a gambling debt one owed the other, at gunpoint. Are you dribbling at me? Get this.  It's not clear if the the guns belonged to both players or just one of them.  Yeah, right.  Gotta game tonight.  But you never know what could happen in the dressing room with my team mates.  I just better be packin' to be on the safe side. Why is it lately every time  a sports fan turns around he lear...

The folks at Lake Superior State University - or LSSU - have done mankind one huge favour.  For 35 years, since 1975, they've been banning words.  Yep, Imma let you finish, but LSSU has again banned the use of some mighty trite words and phrases before they drive us all crazy.  Oddly, "Imma let you finish" wasn't among this year's List Of Words Banished From The Queen's English For Mis-use, Over-Use and General Uselessness . Are you ready?   Here are some of this year's words... "Shovel-ready" is a term used by governments to describe infrastructure stimulus projects that are ready to go now.   LSSU says bury it. "Transparent" is another government term usually used to explain something that's anything but.  LSSU just can't see it's continued use. "Tweet" and all it's variations describe the activities associated with sending others messages of 140 characters or less.  LSSU would seem to think this to b...

The old year closed on a questionable note which brought air travel into chaos.  A Nigerian-born terrorist with a bomb in his underwear failed to blow up a Dutch departing North West Airlines plane bound for Detroit.  The incident raised questions about how the man ever passed through security and some called for stricter measures to scan passengers.  Editorial cartoonists heeded the call.

Happy new year's folks.  Have you recovered sufficiently from your revelling?  We're off to a great start with the new year's edition of our caption contest, largely at the expense of poor Dick. For example, ba_hutch thought our threesome was a... a tramp, a gramp and a scamp Mr. Knucklehead countered with... Glad isn't dead, thought WAS dead, and wish were dead Me-Me weighed in with... A pea, a pimp and shrimp But it was Don from Beyond Left Field who didn't mince words with... Scag, Hag and Fag  Congrats Don.  You're the first of 2010 to be hangin' with the Dufus. Oh, and Don's made a resolution to go on a diet this year...

It's a new year, it's a new decade.  How did you ring it in last night?  A quiet evening at home with a loved one?  Out bar-hopping until the big countdown at midnight? Ten years ago, actor/comedian Jim Carrey rang in 2000 in a special way.  Curious?  If you found your celebration lacking somewhat last night in the enthusiasm department, you may enjoy this.  Oh...and Happy New Year!

It's party time at nonamedufus !  I live in Ottawa - across the river in Aylmer, Quebec to be precise - and holding a party here can be a real challenge.  Ottawa's a government town where bureaucrats vacate their offices at 4pm and the sidewalks are rolled up by 6pm.  In downtown Ottawa there's a pedestrian mall called Sparks Street a block away from Parliament Hill.  While the street is jammed with civil servants at lunch time, passing through shops and eating at outdoor terraces, you can shoot a cannon down the street at 5pm and not fear hitting anyone except for a flock of pigeons still engaged in plucking dropped french fries off of the pavement. But I digress, I was shanghaied into this party in the comments section of my post Tuesday by CatLadyLarew who invited herself to what then was a non-existent party.  She said she was going to drive up from Rochester  ...and to use a seasonal expression, it kind of snowballed from there. So I got some sna...

Between now and when we announce the winner of our "little contest that could" we'll have celebrated New Year's eve and ushered in 2010.  Happy New Year's everyone.  Because half of us will be brain-dead from celebrating a wee too much into the early hours, it's only fitting they'd bring back Dick Clark to help host the festivities.  On that note, caption away... Kirsten may be running late but check to see if her caption contest is up and running.   ettarose has been m.i.a. in the last few weeks but maybe she's back this week.  And that Arizona amnesiac Mad Mad Margo t just might have her thing going today so check her out too. See ya back here with the winner on Saturday.

Boy, oh  boy, those poor folks trying to get out of Dodge on an airplane this week.  Since that Nigerian guy tried to blow up his crotch and a plane last week in Detroit Transport Canada has clamped down on security at Canadian airports.  Havoc has ensued.  Line ups, delayed and cancelled flights.  No carry-on luggage allowed.  I'd hate to be an air traveller trying to get home or get away on holidays. The more I thought about this story, the more questions I asked myself. Southwest Airlines picked the wrong time to go with their "all checked bags fly free" promotion. The guy sewed the explosives into his underpants.  It gave me visions of the guy in Spinal Tap going through security with a cucumber in his pants wrapped in aluminum foil. No skid marks! Although, now that I've seen the size of the um, er, packet of explosives this guy had little to brag about...if you know what I mean. The guy's from Nigeria.  What's up? Did he want to...

Yep, last week...the week leading up to Christmas...Christmas eve as it were... nonamedufus got a metaphorical lump of coal in his stocking.  And here I'd done my best to be a good boy.  Let me back up.  Around late summer/early fall I submitted my blog to Ask And Ye Shall Receive for review.  When a couple of months had passed and I'd had no response I figured they'd passed me by and I put it behind me. Lo and behold, last week a very nice fellow by the name of People In The Sun  reviewed my blog.  Now I should have picked up on their preternatural disposition to other people's blogs.  The domain name of their site is, after all  http://iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com/ .  Yeah, enough said.  And, I knew going in they had a mad on for humour bloggers, in particular members of Humor Bloggers Dot Com .  But it must have been my good Catholic upbringing because as an adult I still crave to be punished for no good cause. ...

Happy Holidays everyone!

Well everyone took their best shot this week.  For example, Tgoette got us in his sights with: Merry Christmas from the Glenn Beck compound. CatLady 's arresting effort was: Christmas is all about family, togetherness and automatic weapons. And FreakSmack slayed me with: The Johnson kids know one thing, if Santa thinks he can come into their house and get all kissy-kissy under the mistletoe without bringing them a Bakugan Battle Arena, then this Christmas will be his last. But it was Moooooog who must be a charter-carrying member of the NRA.  Our winner came up with: Charlton Heston's grandkids have a very Merry Christmas. And so, Moooooog, at this wonderful Christmas time, you be hangin' with Dufus.  Congratulations!!! Thanks for playing everyone and for enjoying the pics this year.  Here's to a happy New Year.

Merry Christmas everyone! Humor Bloggers all is calm all is bright. com

Christmas eve! Where did the time go? And as we anticipate Christmas morning with packs of presents under the tree, family near, and a huge turkey dinner tomorrow night, tonight we - as the song goes - will fall asleep counting our blessings. Some of us. For others Christmas isn't all blessings. Here are a few items that crossed my mind or my computer screen last week. And in the spirit of giving, I just thought I'd share them with you. Now that I have an 52" HDTV, news networks run clips of reporters on broadband and Skype. What's up with that? I make a step forward. They take two back. Italian PM Berlusconi was severely disfigured when a deranged man threw a small statue at him breaking his teeth and cutting his face. When hit with the mini-monument was Berlusconi heard to inquire, "Allo, statue?" (I know, bad, bad joke.) An SUV recently crashed into the departures area at Vancouver International Airport. Talk about "checking in...

Aw, isn't that cute. A Christmas present that makes a point - a hollow point! You guys know what to do. I'll see you Saturday with the target..er, ah, winner. Oh, and Merry Christmas.