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Detective Dangerous


It was a muggy mid-summer morning. I'd been in the office for about half-an-hour, late due to a meeting last night with Jim Beam. I sat at my desk reviewing accounts, my back to the window and the streaming sunshine. I had my fedora perched jauntily on my head. I loved that fedora. Never went anywhere without it. And never took it off save for when I ate or had a crap. Mom always said take your cap off when you eat. Oh that's what it was "cap". I stand corrected. I only took it off when I ate.

There was no knock, just the office door creaking slowly open. If I thought the sunshine was behind me I was sadly mistaken because there, standing in my office doorway was something way hotter than ol' sol.

"Mr. Dangerous?" chirped the sweetest voice this side of Portsmouth.

"That's my name and that's my business" I replied. Also that's what was stamped on my business cards. All 500 of them. I got a great deal from Vista the internet printer. They're kinda like my partner but, of course, I'm the one that takes all the risks.

"Veronica" she purred, extending her hand. "Veronica Voluptuous."

No truer words were ever spoken. She was drop dead gorgeous. I took her hand. I could have held it forever. I doffed my hat and returned it to my head.

"Please be seated" I said and guided her to a chair. She sat across the desk from me and crossed her legs. And those legs were something. Wow. I mean they ran all the way up to her...ah...hips. You know what I mean?

"What can I do for you Ms. Voluptuous?" I inquired.

Turned out Ms was a Mrs and she needed my help. She wanted me to track her philandering husband Phil. Philandering Phil. Ha. I couldn't begin to write this stuff.

She paid me the dough for the down payment and rose to leave. Those legs again. And all I could think of was that song by David Guetta:


It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again
Come on baby
It's dangerous, so dangerous
I wanna do it again
It's dangerous, so dangerous
I wanna do it again



"I beg your pardon?" she said 

"Damn, did I just say that out loud? That could be dangerous."

So dangerous, if you hadn't guessed was this week's theme of at Studio30+. Check out the other dangerous tales.

Comments

The fedora is back! I knew it!
nonamedufus said…
You have a good memory, Paula.
melbs1969 said…
Fun! I kept picturing Roger and Jessica Rabbit as your characters. That's a good thing, in case you were wondering!! LOVE this!
nonamedufus said…
Thank you ma'am. A decent break from puns, I thought.

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