Detective Dangerous

It was a muggy mid-summer morning. I'd been in the office for about half-an-hour, late due to a meeting last night with Jim Beam. I sat at my desk reviewing accounts, my back to the window and the streaming sunshine. I had my fedora perched jauntily on my head. I loved that fedora. Never went anywhere without it. And never took it off save for when I ate or had a crap. Mom always said take your cap off when you eat. Oh that's what it was "cap". I stand corrected. I only took it off when I ate.

There was no knock, just the office door creaking slowly open. If I thought the sunshine was behind me I was sadly mistaken because there, standing in my office doorway was something way hotter than ol' sol.

"Mr. Dangerous?" chirped the sweetest voice this side of Portsmouth.

"That's my name and that's my business" I replied. Also that's what was stamped on my business cards. All 500 of them. I got a great deal from Vista the internet printer. They're kinda like my partner but, of course, I'm the one that takes all the risks.

"Veronica" she purred, extending her hand. "Veronica Voluptuous."

No truer words were ever spoken. She was drop dead gorgeous. I took her hand. I could have held it forever. I doffed my hat and returned it to my head.

"Please be seated" I said and guided her to a chair. She sat across the desk from me and crossed her legs. And those legs were something. Wow. I mean they ran all the way up to her...ah...hips. You know what I mean?

"What can I do for you Ms. Voluptuous?" I inquired.

Turned out Ms was a Mrs and she needed my help. She wanted me to track her philandering husband Phil. Philandering Phil. Ha. I couldn't begin to write this stuff.

She paid me the dough for the down payment and rose to leave. Those legs again. And all I could think of was that song by David Guetta:

It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again

Come on baby

It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again

It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again

"I beg your pardon?" she said

"Damn, did I just say that out loud? That could be dangerous."

So dangerous, if you hadn't guessed was this week's theme of at Studio30+. Check out the other dangerous tales.

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...

30 Days of Writing - Day #1 - Cheese

Well, here we go again folks. As if it weren't enough that I knocked myself out in April participating in 30 Days of Photos, now dear Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese have corralled a bunch of us suckers into a 30 Days of Writing exercise. Yeah, I know. I must have stupid written backwards on my forehead. I don't know how they figured it out. They would have had to look in my mirror to realize it. Anyhoo, the first day's theme is - surprise, surprise - cheese. And here are the internet imbeciles Nicky and Mike managed to sucker into to this little exercise: Well, first off there's me! Once you've read my post you can visit: Mike and Nicky , Cheryl , If I Were God , Katherine , Laughing Mom , Linda M , Malisa , MikeWJ , Sandra , Leeuna and Still Unfinished . Okay, who cut the cheese? Well growing up in my house it was usually my mother. She prepared and served the food and the knife ...

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