Wednesday, 18 March 2015

A Little Tale For Awl About Jeb The Woodworker


You might say Jeb was a bit of a nerd. At 21 he'd never had a relationship with a member of the fairer sex. Or any sex for that matter. High school was a disaster when it came to relationships. When all the others went off to Saturday night dances Jeb stayed home, locked up in his room playing with his woodworking set. He had saws, hammers, chisels, every kind of woodworking tool imaginable.

Jeb's parents thought their son a little strange but he kept out of trouble so they said little about it. When he entered college, Jeb joined the Whittler's Workshop, an after school non-credit woodworking club. Each fall, the WW held a competition among it's students where, based on detailed instructions, the students undertook specific projects. Jeb, given his long history of woodworking thought the competition would be a breeze.

He set to work. He reviewed the instructions, collected his wood and began his project. He used his hand saw and hammer, his adz and auger, his callipers and chisels, not to mention his planes and pocket knives.

But that wasn't enough. Jeb decided to go beyond the instructions and use his boring angle brace and hand drill to create a beautiful series of holes with his woodworking instruments, the likes of which no one had ever seen before.

Jeb was quite confident he'd sway the judges, particularly the cute blonde who had been carefully watching him while he bored holes into his creation.

"What do you think?" asked Jeb. "Are you impressed enough to go out with me?"

"Never" said the judge, regarding Jeb's hole-filled masterpiece. "You're simply too boring."


The prompt at Studio30+ this week was boring. I hope this post isn't and that it augers well.

24 comments:

ReformingGeek said...

Oh, oh, oh, I disturbed the cat with my large GROAN!

Hee.

nonamedufus said...

Cat, what cat? Cat's are lazy. At least a dog knows the drill.

ReformingGeek said...

That reminds me. I have a boring dentist appointment soon.

nonamedufus said...

Awl bet you're not looking forward to that.

Cheryl said...

I really enjoyed this until the end. Too boring? Oy!

Kenneth Lawson said...

There;s boring, Boring, and theres BORING......

nonamedufus said...

Well, I'm really glad you weren't too bored to read it.

nonamedufus said...

C'mon Cheryl, surely you know me by now. You could've been a "bit" more charitable in your review.

Cheryl said...

I have to level with you, my brain clamped shut after the 4th boring reference. I thought she might be looking for a man who was awl that with a jig.

Paula Larew Wooters said...

You know it's awl about that bore...

nonamedufus said...

My God I think you've drilled down and exhausted all the woodworking puns.

nonamedufus said...

Well if Jeb was a farmer it might be all about the boar.

Shawn Ohara said...

Did Jeb have a woody?

melbs1969 said...

Aw, poor Jeb. All that boring didn't do much for him.

Cheryl said...

I'll be square with you, I'm a chip off the old block plane when it comes to puns of this caliper.

nonamedufus said...

You really know how to hammer a point home, don't you Cheryl. You just keep chiselling away at this. You miter been a little kinder.

nonamedufus said...

It's entirely possible.

nonamedufus said...

You know he's never had much luck with the ladies but that's a hole other story.

Cheryl said...

The true measure of a man what he does with his power tools.

nonamedufus said...

Right. And the size of his tools don't matter.

Tara R. said...

Can't win, for losing... poor Jeb.

nonamedufus said...

I'm afraid Jeb was a bit of a tool.

Indigo Roth said...

*sigh* Stop that, you persistent punner.

nonamedufus said...

I know I need help, Indigo. Stop me before I pun again.

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