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What Does One Say?

Nicky Eff's Profile Photo

I really have no idea how to begin this post. I've been staring at a blank screen with many thoughts swirling in my mind about someone I knew as Nicky F. Nicky was a blogger from Montreal who I first met through an on-line humour bloggers site. She was hilarious and we would often exchange barbs - all in good fun of course - in contests of who could top whom. Funny how many words we exchanged in the name of humour and now at her passing I struggle to find the right words.

You know that term "work wife", someone of the opposite sex you work with closely. Well I'd like to think of Nicky as my blogging wife (sorry Ziva Moon). Funny how you can feel so close to someone without actually meeting them but her writing and commenting just made you feel like her best friend.

So this relationship went on for some years until it evolved into a Facebook friendship. She blogged less end less but kept up her acerbic comments on Facebook - comments you absolutely had to respond to.

And when I turned 60 and Cheryl Duford, bless her heart, corralled a bunch of bloggers to send their best wishes, Nicky didn't just send a little note. The woman pulled together a hilarious video with her We Work For Cheese blogging cohort Mike Kay. She blew me away. But that's just the kind of person  she was. And even though I'd never actually met her I was proud to call her my friend.

After so many years of our writing relationship I invited Nicky to a little blogfest called Lostmyliverpalooza along with Cheryl Duford from Portsmouth, New Hampshire and Paula Larew Wooters from Rochester, New York so we could all meet face to face. Nicky couldn't make it. This was around the time she'd been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We spent a lot of our time talking about Nicky that weekend. And lifting a glass or two.

I got to thinking how stupid I'd been having lived just down the highway from her that I'd never visited her. I finally made arrangements for lunch. I drove to Montreal and met Nicky at her home, which she and her husband JP and youngest son Max were soon moving into. And I have to pause here and pass on my sincere condolences to those who knew her best and loved her most in real life - her family. I can't begin to imagine the hole that has been left in their hearts. When I arrived the house was empty and Nicky was directing the painters on her colour scheme throughout the house. She was obviously having a busy day. Yet she found the time to take me to lunch, make me comfortable and buy me a dynamite cheeseburger. And how she met JP. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. And I think we talked more about me and my cancer than we did about her. But that's just the way she was. It's several hours in my life I'll always cherish. And never forget.  As I will our virtual relationship.

Au revoir cherie.




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